Memoirs Of A Hunter
by J. Fait
Summary: REVISED! Our world is not far in the future, but it is very different. My name is Jaylynn Jinn Winchester, and my husband, Sam, his brother Dean, and Dean's wife Charlie, are Hunters. But that is who I am, I guess I should start with who I was. R&R!
1. Prolog Revised 050407

**Disclaimer**; **The Winchester's are not my creation, I simply enjoy the pleasure of their company. Any quotes from a book or books are from the Kay Hooper, Special Crime Unit Novels. Quote will be in _Italics._ Spells are from the Charmed universe, also to which I have no claim. I simply changed or add things to the spells to make it work for the purpose of this story.**

Memoirs of a Hunter

**Prolog**

I have decided to record my life at least that which I have live. Mostly because I am not sure how much longer I will be among the living. These are the memoirs of a hunter. I am not talking about the kind of hunter that I am sure most, if not all of you, are thinking. I am talking about a Supernatural/Paranormal Hunter, a hunter of darkness, a slayer of demons, a protector of the innocent. The kind of person that protects the rest of the human race from the things that go bump in the night. I am one of those people. So is my husband, Sam, his brother, Dean, and his brother's wife, Charlie. My name is Jaylynn Jinn Winchester. Yep, Winchester, like the rifle. The four of us are known as The Winchester's, the elite of the governments Zombie Slaying Task Force (ZSTF). Our future is very different from the world you know now. Things have changed, some how the Vail between our world and the world of the paranormal, the unexplainable, disintegrated. People like us where sought out and roped into forming Task Forces to protect the general population. But that is who I am, I guess I should start with who I was. I guess I should start from the beginning and show you how the world you know became the world I know.

**A/N** This is new and improved!! I had some free time and I am going over all the chapters, add thing, taking things out, correcting and all the other fun perks of editing!! The Chapter will say 'Revised' if I have been through them!! Enjoy!!


	2. Chapter I Revised 050407

**Chapter I**

I was born on July 13, 1984 on a Friday to Joshua and Mary McDermount. We were a normal family. I was not a normal child; I was advanced in all ways. My mother nearly died given birth to me, and as a result she had her tubes tied. I grew up an only child. My father was raised a Catholic, Neal SEAL and my mother was more of a, well, witch. For lack of a better term. They were polar opposites. It made for an interesting childhood. My mother knew from the moment of conception that I was a different, very gifted child. And I was raised as one, much to my father's objections. My mother taught me all about the "other" side of our world, the hidden side, and that part of myself. She use to tell me that I was a very special person and that someday the world would need me. My father was the one to give me my moral standing and my Paladin attitude. I came to believe that I was, in fact, a Paladin, a servant of the forces of good. Nothing in my life had pointed other wise. I never had any problems with schooling; I got straight A's all throughout my school career and full ride scholarship to my choice of colleges. I got double Bachelors degree from Stanford University in Psychology and Criminalistics and went on in Stanford to get my Maters in Psychology, graduating in December 2005. I went through the Federal Spring 2006 Academy, which is where I meet my late fiancé, Jacob Dayton. Life was perfect. Jacob and I bought a house in Estas Park, Colorado. We were supposed to be married on September 23, 2006.

It was the night before our wedding and my parents were over for dinner. They were staying with us and watching our animals while we were on our Honeymoon in Puerto Rico. It was about 0300 hrs; I woke up in a cold sweat. I had had a nightmare, which happened every now and then. Only problem was, I couldn't remember it. So I walked downstairs, and out on to the back porch. I just stood there looking at the stars. Suddenly I heard a crash from the room my parents were staying in. I dashed up the stairs and in to my parents room. It was dark and all I could hear was a small wet sound, like a faucet dripping into a bowl of water. I went for the light and turned it on. I saw two small pools of blood on my parent's bed. I watched as two drops landed in the individual pools. I looked up and found both of my parents pinned to the ceiling, faces frozen in terror. Then there was a sudden burst of flames from behind them; I was thrown to the ground, grinding my elbows on the carpet. I feel the heat of that fire even now. I ran into our room screaming my fiancée's name. I flung myself at where he should have been sleeping. He was not in our bed; I looked up to the ceiling and found him pinned in a similar fashion. I watched him take his last breath, a strangled breath of shook and terror. His dead eyes locked on mine. Again the explosion threw me to the ground, but this blast was enough to shake our house and blow out the windows of our bedroom. I ran out of the house screaming for someone to help me. I was shaking and bleeding from where my elbows had taken abuse and from where the shattering glass had flown at me. I shook for another reason too, there had been an evil in my house, an evil I had never felt before in my comfortable world. I passed out.

The next thing I knew, I had paramedics surrounding me and the police thinking I was responsible. That I had killed my parents and Jacob. Luckily for me the investigation turned up no compelling evidence that I was to blame. The official report stated it was an accidental death caused by smoke inhalation. The fire was said to have been started by a faulty wires. Jacob's parent's put me in an institution for the insane after they heard my original story. I was in there for three months, three months of being around the truly insane who were not blinded by the societal norms. They saw me for what … who I really was. They saw the scars that that evil had left on me, on my soul. Needless to say, I escaped. I began killing anything and everything that so much as felt evil to me, demon or human alike, it didn't matter. Enter John Winchester. To put it simply, he saved me from the most destructive force of all, myself. That is where the story really begins.


	3. Chapter II Revised 050407

**Chapter II**

I was in Washington; the state and I had just finished killing a demon in a back alley. I was covered in blood, actually it was more like goo. Anyway, I had been a rogue hunter for almost two months. Everyone that saw me would cross the street to avoid me. But I didn't care, not anymore. My world, that had never been touched by evil, had been destroyed by it. I was coming out of the alley wiping my hands off when something hit me square in the jaw. I was not sure what or who had hit me, but I was out cold none the less. The next thing I remember was waking up in some crappy motel that smelled of stale cigars and beer. I shifted and tried to rub my jaw. But I found myself cuffed to the bed. _What the f..?_ was all that came to mind.

"Morning sleeping beauty," came a rough voice from a shadowed corner. I could only make out a human-like form.

"Well, well, I was wondering how long it would take one of the bastards to catch up to me. Get it over with, I have nothing to live for." I said. The voice laughed at me a threw a bucket of ice cold water on me. I let out a shocked yelp and glared at the shadow, where the things eyes should have been. Now I was soaking wet and cold.

"I am not here to kill you." He stepped out from the corner, dropping the bucket on the chair next to him. He was human. "I am John Winchester, and I am here to stop you from destroying your life."

"Really, how am I destroying my life? My life was taken from me by something that should not exist." I spat back.

"My life was taken from me too." He said simply, pulling up a chair. He related the chilling tail of how he found his wife pinned to the ceiling about his son Sam's crib. How he has been hunting and teaching his sons to hunt ever since he found the truth through a psychic named Missouri. I was silent. Suddenly my life didn't seem too bad. Granted it was not fairytales and happy endings, but at least I did not have children to take care of.

John and I hung around together for near a year after that day. He got me a new identity; after all I had become hunted by the government. I had been spotted at too many crime scenes and I had already been arrested and detained under the suspicion of three counts of first degree murder. Now something I have not told you yet was the fact that I was a trust fund baby. So, after John got me my new identity, I drained the account and Jaylin McDermount ceased to exist, she just fell of the face of the earth and she was never seen again. If anyone were to look close enough, they would find that Jaylynn Dawnivan came into existence around the same time as Jaylin McDermount disappeared. But no one looked that close, at least not yet.

I decided to settle down in Oregon, just outside St. Helens. I bought some property and built a ranch house on concentrated ground with the permission of the Native's. Their spirits protect me and anyone in my company. John came to me one day, telling me that if things got ugly I was to wait here for contact. He said that he was hot on the trail of the demon that took our families from us.

"John, I could just smack you. Sam lost someone he loved to the demon too! Let us help you!" John looked at me in surprise. "I saw it in a dream." I paused and shrugged. "It was more of a Nightmaric vision." John nodded.

"I don't want Sammy and Dean in the middle of this. I can't protect myself and them at the same time." He said. I knew he was referring to the Shadow Demon incident. He had let his guard down and nearly gotten all of them killed.

"John…." I started. He held up his hand. I knew that move and that look. My father use to do that when the conversation was over. He pulled me in for a tight bear hug.

"Remember, wait for contact." He ordered, touching his finger to my nose like a loving father. I did as I was told.

Finding something to hunt in the back woods of Oregon and Washington was never a big issue. It was the summer of 2008, give or take a few months, before I had contact. Unfortunately, it was not the phone call I had been hoping for. I was sleeping one night and I saw John, in a ghostly form. _Not good._ I thought. The only people who came to me in dreams were dead people.

"Hey Jay." He said. I just stared at him.

"No …. No…. John, please." He just stood there, hands in his jacket pockets. I felt tears running down my face as I walked to him. He reached up and wipe a tear away.

"I'm sorry kiddo. I had to." His hand was cold and his eyes filled with sadness. "Look, in a few weeks, my boys will be coming up here to help you with your demon problem. Stay with them. I want you to teach Sammy how to use his abilities. I want you to watch out for my boys." I nodded. I dreamt that same dreams for days. Then I started to see John when I was awake. He would just be standing somewhere, watching me. I cursed the fact that I was a Medium at times. It was hard enough to know he was dead and not know why, then I found out what John meant by "problem". A demon moved into the woods. Big bastard, no known vanquish. I just had to keep it away from the campers that it seemed to like munching on. This is how they heard of me and it is a strange tale of how the three of us came to travel together. The papers had been reporting the sighting of a strange women in the back woods of Oregon, close to the Washington board. No one lived in that area, it was too deadly, too dangerous, but people sure loved to camp there. But every now and then I would show myself, dressed in a black tank top, black bullet proof vest, black BDU's, and carrying two Tomb Raider guns, a.k.a. Desert Eagles. Not exactly the kind of spirit Sam and Dean Winchester were use to dealing with. They couldn't even sure if I was a spirit, could be a hell bent living, breathing person, for all they knew. But it was the only thing that acquired their attention. Me and the mysterious disappearances that were happening in the surrounding forest. People would vanish without a trace. Shortly after the disappearances started, people started spotting me. Too much of a coincidence for Sam and Dean. They were just outside St. Helens and the entire car ride had been quite. Most of the car rides after John had passed were quite. Sam had confessed his feelings to Dean about their father's death and Dean had remained quite. That was until Sam had walked away. Then Dean beat the tar out of the trunk of his already terribly damaged Impala with a crowbar. Dean would just stare straight ahead, face cold and hard as a stone. Sam had begun to act a lot like he had done right after Jessica died, distant and silent. John had been watching over them and then conveying the visions to me. He hoped it would give me a better understanding of his boys and their cooping mechanisms. I watched as Dean parked the new and improved Impala and got out. He headed to the trunk, grabbing what they would need he threw a duffel bag at Sam and slung the other one over his shoulder. They hiked back into the furthest reaches and just waited. I went about my normal patrol through the forest. I knew that they would be waiting for me. Sam had fallen asleep as the early morning hours approached, Dean had started to doze off when a loud thunderous roar came from deeper in the darkness. Dean jumped up and Sam was at his side by the second roar. They both walked slowly into the woods, no flashlights. Suddenly, they saw me. The girl everyone had been talking about. My braid flipped wildly as I ran straight at them, I had saved another couple from the claws of the demon, and now I had pissed it off, I mean **really** pissed it off. Dean moved to raise his gun. I watch Sam put his hand on Dean's arm.

"Wait!" Sam said, "She is running from something." Dean looked from Sam to the form that was getting closer. Suddenly I was swatted to the side. Sam and Dean heard cracking and watched as I rolled, landed on my feet and took off again. I had learned that there was no time to feel the pain that came with the territory of hunting.

"What the f- -" was all Dean could say. I ran right at them, I turned around to see if I could see the bastard and ran dead into Sam. The impact sent Sam and I tumbling to the ground. I landed on top of Sam and he let out a burst of air in the "Uumph" sound. Dean saw a pair of eyes, and he opened fire. Sam rolled his arms around me and curled into me in the instinctive protection. I dug my fingers into Sam's shoulders and his hand pulled my head closer to his chest, tangling in my hair that had come undone after being swatted. The thing let out a roar that sounded like thunder and disappeared in a cloud of mist. Dean stood there for a moment, in awe. He turned his attention to Sam and I. Sam still had me wrapped in a protective grip and I was still holding on to him. At the sound of Dean's movement toward us, I lifted my head up and glanced around. I looked up at Dean, then to the surrounding area, then down to Sam, whom I found myself straddling. Dean reached down, picking me up by the hips, placing me on my feet. Then Dean helped Sam up. Sam dusted himself off as Dean turned his attention back to me. "Sam, you alright?"

"Dean, what the hell was that?" Sam asked, also looking at me.

"Sam and Dean Winchester?" The two of them tightened. They had been hearing that response far too often. They both nodded. "John's boys," it was more of a statement then a question. "I was wondering how long it was going to take." Dean raised an eyebrow and Sam frowned.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked.

"He said that you would be coming. He just was not sure how long it would take you to pick up the trail." Now Dean was getting mad.

"What are you talking about?" Dean repeated with more force.

"Dean …" Sam interrupted, Dean turned to Sam. "She's a Medium." They both turned their eyes back on me, I just stood there with my hands on my hips, nodding.

"Jaylynn Dawnivan. I owe your father my life," I extended my hand. Both boys just looked lost. I sighed, dropping my hand back to my side. I motioned for them to follow me, which they did. We walked in silence toward my house, deep in the woods. We arrived there well before 0200 hrs.

My house is a two level modified Ranch house. There are three guestrooms on the upper floor and one bathroom. On the ground floor is my room and bathroom. The kitchen, the foyer, the dining room and what I call the great room. The guys paused and looked up at my house, looks of awe on their faces.

"Come on," I said heading up the stairs. "Come in." With someone as powerful as me, it is imperative that one must be invited into the home. Or they will receive a nasty shock.

We went in to my home and they sat down in the great room while I headed into the kitchen to put the teakettle on. I took off my vest and put it over one of the chairs. The kettle started to whistle and I poured three cups of tea.

"He came to me about a week ago. At first in dreams, then in my waking hours." I explained as I handed them each a cup of tea. The guys had more or less slumped into the closest available space. Dean was in a large leather chair and Sam was on the couch. I set the cups down on the long coffee table that sat between us and the fireplace, which was glowing with embers.

"You're bleeding." Sam said as I moved to sit down. I looked at my left side. Sam was right. I was bleeding.

"Damn it," I cursed. I grabbed the first aid kit that I had left out on the table. I sat down on the edge of the couch and moved to clean the wound. Not that I could reach all of it anyway. It traveled along side my neck and down the back of my shoulder. Sam took the cloth from my hand.

"Let me," Sam moved closer to me on the couch. Dean rolled his eyes. "You said our dad came to you." Sam urged me to continue. I had to bite the inside of my lower lip as Sam cleaned the wound. It stung.

"Yes, he said that things had taken a bad turn. That you two would be searching for things to kill. It was your way of cooping. John had expected it to be hard on both of you. But the one thing he never wanted is for either of you to blame yourselves." I looked right at Dean. Dean shied away from my eyes.

"He wants you to know that he made the choice. Both of you are the best thing that ever happened to him. He died to save you, both of you. He made the choice. And he did it because he loves both you and he felt it was he duty to save you." Dean felt a tear slip down his cheek, and quickly wiped it away. Sam finished cleaning the wound and wrapped it. I was shocked at how gently Sam had been. His hands were rough, but had sparked something inside me that I had not felt since Jacob. And, to be honest, I was not comfortable with it. That and Sam's hand was still on the side of my neck. I shifted and Sam jumped up. He blushed slightly and sat down in the other chair.

"Anyway, he told me that you would help me with this ….. issue." I motioned toward the forest. "And I am suppose to help you Sam." Sam's eyes went wide. "With your abilities." Dean looked from Sam to me. "I can teach you how to control your abilities. I can show you your potential. And I grantee that it is far beyond your wildest dreams."

"So …um…. Why did you buy a place? You are a hunter, right?" Dean asked scratching his head. I looked at Dean, who had an uncomfortable look on his face. I frowned slightly, not that either of them had noticed.

"Yes, I am a Hunter. But the way I see it, everyone needs a place where they came come and get away from everything. A place where they feel safe. I will make you the same offer I make many of the hunters that I come across. You are always welcome here, and you will be safe here from any evil. I built this house on sacred, consecrated ground, with the permission of the original peoples of this land. They protect me and anyone else I wish. Many hunters have rested here, gathering their strength for whatever hunt they embark on next. I never have any trouble finding something to kill in the surrounding states. But here is were I call home." I explained. Sam nodded and Dean just looked strained. It was too much for Dean.

"Bedrooms are up the stairs and across the balcony. Rest easy. You are safe here." I stood up and headed into the kitchen. I still have a few things to do before sleep would come for me, I started by washing my hands. I am compulsive about clean hands. I heard the leather of the chairs groaning as the guys moved out of the leather chairs. I heard the slight creaking of the stairs, but only one set of footsteps going up the stairs. I turned back toward the great room. I saw Sam sitting there, head in his hands. It was a lot to process. Their father's reputation in the hunting community was far greater than they had ever expected.

Hunters made up about 7 of the entire world population. But we had our own sub-culture, we had a code. We do what we do and we shut up about it. We stay hidden. As far as the rest of the world in concerned, we don't even exist. We are shadows, ghosts, figments of over-active imaginations. Every hunter lived and died by this code. Something stirred inside of me as I thought about the code, something told me that our world was changing. And the new world would need us. I dried my hands. I had some research to do. I walked back into the great room and to the bookcase beside the fireplace. The case had 7 shelves and each shelf could fit 50 books, minimum. I lightly traced my fingers over the spines on the books. Stopping on two old, leather bound books.

"Bingo," I whispered to myself. Sam had still not moved from his original position. I sat down on the couch next to him and set the two large books down. I reached over and gently laid a hand on Sam's shoulder. "Sam?" I whispered. He turned toward me. His jade green/deep blue eyes looked in to mine.

"What is happening to us?" he asked, I could tell he was on the verge of tears. I frowned, rubbing his shoulder and back.


	4. Chapter III Revised 050507

**Chapter III**

"What do you mean?" I asked, my voice low.

"Why does all this bad stuff keep happening?" He asked, I felt his muscles tense under my hand. "I just don't understand." I could feel the frustration growing. I leaned forward and pulled him into a hug. It was the only thing that came to mind. Surprisingly he didn't resist; he leaned down on to my shoulder. I could feel his tension, his pain, and his hurt. I took a deep breath and released some of my calming energy into his form. I felt the heat traveling from my body to him and held the image of a gentle blue light flowing from my center into his. I felt Sam's arms snake around my waist, one traveling up, resting at the base of my neck, just beside the wound. I could feel the tears soaking my shirt and reaching my skin. It was liquid warmth seeping into me. Not the reaction I had intended but it works regardless. I just held him until he was finished, maintaining the image of light moving from me to him and the darkness from him dispersing. I felt him swallow and then a sudden feeling of embarrassment. A smile touched to corners of my lips.

"Don't be embarrassed, Sam." I said, running a hand through his hair. "I am a friend." He lifted his head from my shoulder and looked into my eyes. "You are safe here. You are safe with me." I moved some of his hair out of his face, not breaking eye contact. Without warning Sam leaned in and gently placed his lips on mine. At first there was shock, then I noticed the softness of his lips, the warmth of his embrace and I relaxed into him. Feeling our body's fit perfectly together. The kiss was gentle and caring. Something I had not had since before Jacob was killed. Then all at once, we both realized what had happened or was happening, we pulled apart and sputtered apologies.

"Let me help you." He offered, referring to the two books.

"Sure, um ….. I am looking for the demon in these books." I handed him one of the books.

"What are they?" he asked, not seeing a title.

"The Keys of Solomon. You have the Lesser Keys." I explained.

"Right, one of Dad's friends gave us a version of these." Sam said, remembering the Devil's Trap symbol. "What other books do you have up there?" Sam looked at the packed case.

"The Key of Solomon, The Lemegeton (or Lesser Key of Solomon) also know as the Goetia or Theurgia, Grimorium Verum (based on The Key of Solomon), Grimoire of Honorius or also called the Grimoire of Pope Honious, The Book of Sacred Magic of Abra-Melin the Mage, The Book of Black Magic and of Pacts, True Black Magic (or The Secrets of Secrets, draws on The Key of Solomon), Grand Grimoire (or Red Dragon), The Magus by Francis Barrett, The Black Pullet (or Treasure of the Old Man of the Pyramids or Black Screech Owl), Verus Jesuitarum Libellus (or True Magical Works of the Jesuits) Supposed Fake, Three Books of Occult Philosophy, Mysteria Magica, The Golden Dawn not a book on conjuring but a system of Magick, The Grimoire of Armadel, Summoning Spirits by Konstantinos, The Book of Sacred Magic of Abramelin the Mage, The Sixth and Seventh Books of Moses, The Necronomicon, Arbatel of Magick, Ars Paulina or the Pauline Art, Ars Armadel, Ars Nova, Ars Notoria, The Heptameron, The Black Raven by Dr. Faust also known as The Threefold Coercion of Hell, The Arbatel of Magick, The Golden Dawn by Isreal Regardie, The Grimoire of Pope Leo French Grinmoire - Enchiridion Leonis Papae, Malleus Daemonum Exorcist Manual - known as the Hammer of Demons 1620, The Sword of Moses, The Secret Grimoire of Turiel, Three Books of Occult Philosophy Cornelius Agrippa, The Fourth Book of Occult Philosophy Cornelius Agrippa, and My on personal Book of Shadows. Anything and everything that has to do with Demonology." I explained. Sam just nodded.

"That is the most extensive library of paranormal references I have every seen." I just smiled and opened my book. "What do you want me to do?" He asked, barely able to tear his eyes away from the bookcase.

"Just look through it and see if anything fits what we saw, then write it down. If you have questions, ask." I said, curling up with the book.

Three hours later, we had narrowed it down to four demons. I stretched and my body made me aware of the fact that it was cold and I either needed to start a fire or put on warmer clothes. I got up to refill our tea and start the fire. I piled the wood on the fire and said a small incantation. The logs burst into flames. I turned around to see a wide-eyed Sam watching me. I stood up and walked over to refill our cups. I sat down and looked at Sam, whose jaw was still dropped. "Close your mouth, you'll attract flies."

"How…?" was all he could say. I looked over at him and winked.

"Magick," I smiled at his reaction. Again his jaw had dropped but he snapped it shut before I could say anything.

"Teach me." He said in an authoritative voice, that took me by surprise.

"Are you sure?" I asked. Sam nodded.

"Absolutely," Sam confirmed, determination written in his eyes.

"Okay, we will start with the basics. Grounding and Beginner Energy work. These skill will become the foundation upon which the rest of your abilities will be built. Your foundation must be strong or everything will collapse on top of you. And that will not be pleasant." Never had I thought that I would be teaching someone the same lessons that my mother taught me. "We, for lack of a better term, witches live by a creed. 'An in it, harm none and do as thou wilt'. We are here for the protection and betterment of society." I recited to creed just as my mother had recited it to me from the beginning. "First we will start with the basic meditation. In order to be in control your power or abilities, one must be grounded, centered. You must have the ultimate confidence in yourself. Magick works because you **believe** it will. Because you **believe** in it as well as yourself. In this line of work, one can not afford to question every move they make. Each move must be precise, fast and possibly deadly. Like the snake striking at its prey or its attacker." My voice was quite and calm. "Begin by seeing yourself, you are nowhere and everywhere. You are nothing and everything. Find a comfortable position, Sam. This could take a while." Sam raised an eyebrow but didn't say a word. I cursed myself for not thinking before I talked. After all, I was dealing with a Winchester.

"Okay, I want you to close your eyes." Sam's eyes fluttered closed. "Now, see roots stemming out from every part of your body touching the ground, the roots reach deep into Earth, all the way to the core. The roots stop in the warm liquid. See the warm white, glowing liquid being drawn up the roots like a drink traveling through a straw." I paused, probing into Sam's mind to see if he was focused. I smiled. "Now as the warm, liquid reaches your root Chakra, see the liquid turning from white to a deep red. See and feel the deep red radiating out, like it is filling an egg. The liquid continues to travel up when the red reaches your lower abdominal/pelvic area the red turns into a brilliant orange, this orange also spreads out, filling up your egg. As the energy continues to travel up, when it reaches your solar plexus, the brilliant orange turns into a shinning yellow." I paused again. Sam was more receptive than I had anticipated. He was focused completely on the sound of my voice and seeing what I was instructing him to do. "Then as the energy continues to fill your egg, it reaches your heart and the shinning yellow turned to an emerald green. The emerald green continues to travel up, reaching your throat. The emerald green turns in to a wonderful blue. The energy continues to travel up, once it reaches your third eye, that spot between your eyebrows and is about an inch long, see the colour turn to an indigo shade. Then energy continues to travel up, traveling over the top of your head, as it reaches the crown of your head, the colour will become violet." I paused again. Allowing Sam to get use to the feeling.

"Now imagine a small star hovering 3 inches above your head. And just above that is the dome of the egg. Now your egg is filled with warmth and light. Feel it circulating around you. See the darkness being chased away and dispersed into Earth. Let go of the dark energy, Earth knows what to do with it. Feel the energy traveling through you, around you, cleansing you. When you are ready, open your eyes." I dimmed the light so that Sam's eyes would not be in shock. I watched as Sam slowly opened his eyes. "How do you feel?" I asked.

"Better." He said. "More, together."

"Here, now these." I said holding up two stones.

"What are these?" he asked.

"Boji stones. They're to balance your energy field. Like yin-yang." Sam nodded. "Your energy will tell you which stone goes in which hand. One of the stones was smooth and round. The other was rough and in an egg shaped." I place one stone in each of his hands. Sam started to consider each stone.

"Don't think about it." I said, Sam looked up at me. "Just feel it. The stone will either feel right or wrong in your hand. If it feels wrong, switch hands." Sam nodded. He closed his eyes. He switches the stones at least half a dozen times. Once he had finally settled, I began to instruct him.

"This exercise requires no visualization. Just sensations. Just feel what is happening. Let it happen, don't fight it." I sat erect watching Sam carefully, gently peeking into his mind. "These exercises are delicate processes. You must focus solely on the exercise, do not allow your mind to wander." I saw a brief flash of our kiss dance through his mind. I chased that thought away from my own mind, reminding myself that something like that must never be allowed to happen again. I had shut my heart down, packed it in ice and locked it away. I found that it was better, in this line of work, to not get attached to anyone. John had become like a father to me. He had saved me from myself, shown me the things I could/should be doing with my knowledge and my powers. I am a better person today because of his influence. I felt my heart twinge at the thought of John. I had allowed myself to become attached to John and he died. One more person I cared for to add to me track record, which was by no means stellar. I frowned for a moment as the thought passed through my mind. _I must be cursed._ I watched Sam smile, I raised my eyebrow hoping that he had not heard me. I was in no mood to explain my reasoning. I got up slowly, careful not to disturb Sam. I walked over to the fire and squad down in front of it. I grabbed some logs and placed them in the fire carefully. I watched as the flames licked at the logs in an attempt to ignite them. I felt the warmth wash over me as the flames crawled over the logs and a sudden burst of flames emitted immense warmth. I stood up and turned around to find Sam's eyes watching me with genuine interest. I froze mid movement like a cat noticing that they are being followed. For a moment I could not think.

"How do you feel?" I finally asked. Sam didn't move, he didn't even blink. I felt pinned under his gaze.

"I feel better. More ….. just more," he said. I nodded.

"That is the point." I said, moving to sit down in my original spot. "Remember that energy and power are all neutral. It is the wielder of the energy or power that makes it good or evil." Sam nodded slowly. A sudden look of panic crossed his face. I frowned, that is not suppose to be the look of someone who is centered.

"Sam?" I asked him. He fell forward in to my lap. "SAM!" I yelled. Sam looked up at me, his eyes trying desperately to focus on me. I knew that look, Sam was getting a vision. I pulled his body against mine, I wanted to make sure he knew I was still here. Even if he couldn't see me. I rested my chin on his shoulder, my lips right beside his ear. "Sam, listen to my voice. Relax, let the vision come. Do not fight it!" I whispered into his ear. I could feel his body tensing against me. "Sam, relax." I felt his cheek brush against mine. I felt his body begin to relax. Then, just as soon as it had started, it stopped. Sam looked at me.

"We have to go, now." He got up, looking around for something that traveled faster than we could run. "Someone is in danger." I followed Sam, grabbing my weapons, not that they would do much good, but it was a comfort thing. "Do you have anything that goes fast?" he asked. I tossed him the key to the turbo quad that I had **just** finished fixing. He jumped on and I got on behind him.

"What about Dean?" I asked just before Sam turned the key and the engine roared to life.

"THERE'S NO TIME!!" he yelled over the engine. I snaked my arms around his torso and held on tight as he gunned the engine and we speed off.


	5. Chapter IV Revised 050507

**Chapter IV **

Sam was driving like a bat out of hell. We nearly hit three trees and had to duck so many times I lost count. I was sure that I had a few more wounds that were going to need cleaning by the time this adventure was over. We drove past a campsite, with a dying fire.

"Uh, Sam? Isn't that where we wanted to stop?" Sam ignored my question, which was answered by a blood curtailing scream. Sam accelerated again. I knew then were he was going. There was a clearing not far from where we were. Sam slammed on the breaks, pressing our bodies closer together. I jumped off the bike, drawing one of my weapons. I dashed full speed toward the forms clinging together in the field. I ran over to them and kneeled down. Sam came up behind me, watching the surrounding area.

"Where did it go?" I asked. They both looked at me terrified. "WHERE DID IT GO?" I yelled. They pointed toward the edge of the woods that was to the West of us.

"Go, get you shit and get the hell out of here." I said, shoving at them. "GO!!" I yelled, they jumped up and ran off. I heard a growl coming from where they had pointed. This thing had been waiting for us. Shit. Sam and I moved forward slowly, tactically. We stopped just on the edge of the forest. There was another growl and a howl. Sam and I pin-pointed the area it was coming from and opened fire. The bullets were hitting something, we could hear the thudding sound. Suddenly we were both thrown backward into the field. Sam landed on top off me. We froze momentarily looked at each other, another roar and Sam rolled off of me. We both recovered our guns, but by the time we were standing up, the demon had disappeared. Sam lowered his gun and looked around. I kept my gun up, the damn thing had to have been somewhere. I rarely let my guard down either way.

"SAM!" I grabbed Sam and hit the ground as an old tree trunk came flying at us. I was up and popping off rounds as soon as the damn thing had passed over us. It took Sam a moment to recover, but as soon as he did he was up next to me. I felt a sudden tension in my core, I looked at Sam who was looking down at his core like something was grabbing him. We looked at each other in a panic. We were pulled backward and we both slammed into the trunks of trees. Something held us there it was a painful push. I was not prepared to show Sam how powerful I was, but it was looking like I was not going to have a choice. From across the clearing we watched as the creature emerged from the forest. We both watched as the creature approached us and changed into a young man wearing a trench coat and leather pants. He was bare foot and very handsome. His violet eyes locked on both of us, his long dark hair moving like there was a breeze. I felt the force pinning us become crushing. I heard Sam cry out. _Damn it._ I took as deep of a breath as I could and focused all my power into a ball. When the ball was large enough I launched it at the figure, catching it by surprise. The force released Sam and I. I ran over to Sam.

"Stay here," I told him. He was still trying to catch his breath. I formed another ball of power in my hand and just watched as the creature slowly got back up.

"A Bender?" it's voice was deep and had an echo. He formed a ball similar to mine, but dark. We stood there, staring each other down.

"What do you want?" I asked, my body tensing. It smiled at me, before I knew what was happening I was thrown backward, hitting the tree trunk with a sickening crack. I slid to the ground, blood trailing from the corner of my mouth. I heard Sam cry out for me to move. I closed my eyes, focusing. There was something I could do, but I didn't know the demons weakness. _I have to try._ I heard Sam cry out in pain again and my eyes shot open. I lunged at the demon, my hand going straight into its chest. I grabbed for its heart. I felt it in my hand. I pulled with all my strength, it's beating heart coming out with my hand. Sam watched in amazement and slight horror as the creature burst into flames, as did its heart that was in my hand. I turned to Sam and he cried out in shock. I had forgotten to warn him that my irises turn yellow when I used my powers. He collapsed to the ground, breathing heavily.

"Sam?" I reached out and touched his shoulder. "I'm sorry." He looked up and watched as my brilliant yellow eyes faded back to honey.

"For what?" He wheezed.

"For not being completely up front with you about how dangerous I am." Sam shook his head and reached out for me to help him up. I grabbed his arm and helped him up. "Come on, let's get back to the house." I put his arm around my shoulders.

"I'm driving." I said. I helped him get on the quad and I got on in front of him. "I'll be gentle." I winked at him as I turned the key. The engine roared to life. I felt Sam's arms snake around my waist, pulling our bodies close together. I swallowed thickly. That tingling sensation was back. This was an unfortunate turn. I had closed myself off to the world of love, packed my heart in ice and locked it away in the deepest recesses of my conscious mind. Now, with Sam's arms around me, I could hear the faint beating of that heart as it began to heat back up, melting the ice. I pushed the acceleration forward and we moved at a steady, fast pace. The wind was rushing through my hair, I thought it would clear my mind. I was wrong. To avoid getting a mouth full of my hair, Sam had tucked his chin on my shoulder and had tuned his face toward my neck. I could feel his eye lashes brushing against my neck as he blinked. It took us about twice the time to get back to my home as it did for us to get to the clearing. I parked the quad where it had been, turned off the engine and began to help Sam up the stairs when the front door slammed open and an enraged Dean came rushing out.

"SAM!! WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!?" I could hear the concern in Dean's voice and knew where he was coming from. I had heard that tone come from John when he was on the phone with his one of his boys or even when he talked about them.

"I GO TO SLEEP FOR 15 MINUETS AND I WAKE UP AND YOUR GONE!!" Dean stopped yelling when he noticed that I was supporting Sam. His face lightened up and his eyes grew soft. "What happened?" He looked at me.

"Sam had a vision of two campers being attacked. I wanted to wake you but Sam said there was not time. So we took one of turbo-quad." I motioned with my head toward the quad Sam and I had just gotten off of. Dean nodded and took Sam's other arm. "Take him up to his room. I can heal him, but I need a few things first." I ordered as we entered the front door. Dean nodded and shifted so that Sam's weight was on him. I watched as Dean made his way up the stairs. I was sure that Dean was going to have a few choice words with me after Sam had fallen asleep. I sighed. Dean was more like his father than he would ever know. I went into the kitchen and reached for the herbs I would need, a large ice pack, and an Ace bandage.

I headed up the stairs, across the balcony and to the left. I knocked on Sam's door before entering. It had been a habit I got into while John was living with me. I learned never to walk into a hunter's room unannounced, it could be dangerous to your health. I pushed the door open and found Sam laying on his bed, shirt less, Dean sitting on one side of the bed, watching my every move. I set all the thing down I would need. I sat down opposite side of the bed as Dean. I grabbed the ice pack and looked over Sam's chest, bruises were beginning to form. I felt terrible. I looked up at Sam's face as I laid the ice pack on his chest.

"Here." I put two pills in his hand. "Take these." I helped him sit up and handed him a glass of water.

"What are they?" Dean asked. I watched as Sam swallowed them.

"Jin Gu Die Shang Wan, also known as 'The Great Mender'. It is a Chinese herb that heals bones, muscles and other injuries after a traumatic event." I explained. Knowing that Dean would be the one asking the questions. I waited for five more minuets before removing the ice pack all grabbed the balm. "This is White Flower Analgesic Balm. Also Chinese. It is for stiff muscles and bruising. I will apply it to the area of Sam's core that are bruising, wrap them in an Ace bandage and by morning he will be good as new." Dean looked like he was about to protest until he got a good look at me.

"Your bleeding again." He said. I just nodded.

"I will tend to myself after I tend to Sam." I stated.

"Whose blood is on your hand?" Dean asked, checking Sam over, making sure he was not bleeding.

"The demon's." Sam had spoken up. I gently rubbed the balm on to his chest, trying hard not the think about how toned and tan and utterly desirable he was. "She pulled the demon's heart out." That statement made me stop and just stare at Sam. Dean's eyes grew wide and he looked at me. My eyes locked on Sam's.

"She what?" Dean asked, his voice straining.

"She ripped the demon's heart out." Sam stated. I grimaced. This was going to be uncomfortable. "Dad mentioned in his journal about a powerful ally. One that no demon could stop. Remember?" Dean nodded. "I think dad found her." Sam touched my hand that had come to rest over his heart.

Dean just looked doubtful. He had never known a women to be stronger than a man at hunting. They were good in their own ways, sure. But strong enough to rip a demon's heart out of its chest? Nope. Not in his world. Never in his world.

But something that would have to be understood about me, I am not an ordinary women. The room fell into an ackward silence as Sam and I continued to stare at each other. Damn it. There was that faint sound of a beating heart, echoing through from the back of my consciousness. Dean clearing his throat brought me back to the task at hand. I finished rubbing the balm into Sam's chest and wrapped him in an Ace bandage. I gathered up everything and headed back down the stairs to clean up. I was in the middle of putting the herbs back into my cabinet when I heard footsteps approaching me.

"We need to talk." I heard Dean's rough voice behind me.


	6. Chapter V Revised 051507

**Chapter V **

I sighed and turned around. Dean stood there with his arms crossed in front of his chest, looking very much like John. He did not look happy. Not that I could blame him. I was never really up front with people about my abilities, they were not exactly a good conversation started.

"Why weren't you up front with us?" Dean asked. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. It would not be wise to provoke him.

"What was I suppose to say Dean? Hi, I'm Jay and I am a paranormal freak and I happen to be the strongest demon killer you will ever meet?" Dean shrugged. "Look. I am never up front with people about what I can do. I have been out of the ordinary all my life." I stated. "If you want my life story, I think we should wait until tomorrow morning, when Sam is awake." Dean nodded. He had softened a little when he saw how I had helped Sam.

"Whatever you gave him knocked him right out." Dean said, sitting down at the dinning table, his head in his hands.

"Chinese herbs have that effect on people when they have never had them before. Especially the one I gave him." I sat down across the table from him. "Dean?" I could feel that something was bothering him.

"Can you really talk to my dad?" I could hear the crack in his voice. I reached out and took his hand. He looked up at me. I smiled gently.

"Yes, I can talk with him." Dean nodded.

"Is he here?" Dean asked. I looked at the seat next to Dean and found John there. I nodded.

"Dad?" Dean called out, barely keeping it together. John reached out and put his hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean shifted, looking from his shoulder to me, his eyes were wide. I just nodded. Not many people have the chance to say goodbye to a loved one after they are dead, let alone ask them questions.

"Why did you do it, Dad?" Dean was beginning to loose it. "I was good as gone. You and Sammy could have gone on with out me. I hate living like this. Feeling this guilt for your death. I know it is my fault." I could see the tears forming in the corners of Dean's eyes. John looked at me, pleading. I had not done this for anyone before, but if anyone was worth it, the Winchester's were. I nodded slowly. John got up and walked over to me. I closed my eyes and felt him enter my body, an experience I would not recommend for any Medium.

"Dean?" John's voice came our of my mouth. I looked up at Dean and he nearly fell out of his chair. I had John's voice and his eyes. John got up and went over to Dean, kneeling down in front of him.

"I did what I did for you, Dean." John explained. "I love you, so much. I couldn't have gone on without you. It is up to you and Sammy now." John said, taking Dean's hands.

"Look at me son." Dean looked down into John's eyes.

"I need you to be strong. This war is coming, and it is coming fast. You can't afford to be thinking about anything but winning. Jay is here to help us win. I am sure by now that one of you boys have seen what she can do." John said.

"Sammy has." Dean nodded. John nodded.

"Good. Now I need you to believe in my choice and trust me. I made to right choice. I know I did. I want you and Sammy to finish what I started, finish and win this war. I want you to have the chance to settle down, marry a good women, and have a family of your own." The tears were running down Dean's face now, his jaws muscles clenched. John stood up and pulled Dean into a bear hug.

"Stop feeling the guilt, it is not your burden you bear. I made my choice, son. I need you to trust me. I did what needed to be done. Take care of Sammy." Dean clenched his father tightly in his arms, there was a gust of wind and John was gone. I felt feeling returning to my limbs and I felt Dean's tears soaking into my shirt. My knee gave out, but thanks to Dean aggressive hug, I stayed standing.

"Come on, Dean. It is time for you to go to bed." I said in my own voice. Dean nodded into my shoulder.

"Do you have any miracle drug that can help me?" He asked, releasing his hold on me. My knees took on the weight and threatened to give out. I held on to Dean's shoulder until my own legs were stable. Dean began walking up the stairs. He turned around to look at me.

"I'm sorry. No herb, no matter how powerful, can heal a broken heart."


	7. Chapter VI Revised 051507

**Chapter VI **

I stripped of my tear, blood and sweat strained clothes, letting them drop to the tiled floor of my bathroom. This had been the hardest of my slayings and the hardest of introductions. I looked down at my hand, not a mark, save for the dried blood. I stepped into the steaming water, feeling it rush down my tired body. I had never had a spirit take over my body. It was something I was certain I would never let happen again, at least not voluntarily. I felt violated in all senses of the term.

Yet allowing Dean to find closure had been worth it. John had saved me from the worst kind of evil, myself. It was the least I could do to repay him, that and watching out for his boys. I scrubbed my skin until I was sure all the blood was gone. Despite how hot the water was, I felt cold. Something was not right, and I knew it, I felt it. The vanquish looked real but something about it didn't feel real. My hand should have been burned bad if it was real. I finished my normal shower ritual of shampooing, conditioning, washing my face and body, and shaving. I got out of the shower and rubbed baby oil on my body, wrapped my hair in a towel and walked into my closet. I grabbed a sports bra and a pair of boxers. I slipped into my night clothes. Normally I slept in nothing but my bare skin, but with the Winchester's, especially Sam, in the house. I thought it better to sleep with some clothes on, just in case. I ruffled my hair a little more while I walked back into the bathroom.

I hung up the towel by the shower door and turned to the mirror. I wiped away some of the steam, and John's image stood by side me. I turned around and found no one there. I turned back to the mirror, John's image was still there.

"Yes John?" I asked, he smiled in a very John fashion, his eyes filled with sadness.

"I wanted to thank you. For everything." John started. I nodded. "I know that I don't have to ask but, I want you to watch out for my boys."

"You know I will John." I said.

"Don't be afraid of telling my boys about what you can do." He said. I bit the inside of my lip. "I want you to help Sammy. He is so lost when it comes to his abilities. I know that you can help him."

"I hope so. I can feel his confusion, over most things." I said. John nodded.

"You're confused too." That statement hit me like a train. "I can see it in your eyes, Jay." John said before I could protest. I looked down at the sink instead.

"You're too young to be so cold, so closed off to all the possibilities of this world." There was the second train. "Jay, hunting has taught me that you should find that special someone and hold on to them with every ounce of strength you've got." I inspected my hands with great scrutiny.

"Take it from me. You don't want to live out the rest of your life alone." And with John was gone, leaving me his words. I took a deep breath and felt a tear hit my trembling hands. I gathered my thoughts and composed myself I brushed my hair and braided it.

I went to my bed and slid under the freezing cold sheets. I focused for a moment, feeling my heat radiating out, until the entire bed was warm. I curled up into a ball fell asleep.

_I felt the heat of the fire on my face. I looked up to see Jacob pinned to the ceiling. The fire crawling down the walls toward me, as if they were being controlled by something I couldn't see. But I could feel it. There was this evil presence, raking at my skin._

I sat bolt up in bed screaming. That damn scene haunted my dreams. My bedroom door slammed open, Sam and Dean rushing in. I was breathing hard, my heart was racing, and I was covered in a cold sweat. Sam rushed to the side of my bed.

"Jay?" Sam asked, putting his hand on my shoulder. I looked at his panicked face. I did a quick relaxation technique. Breathe in for eight counts, hold for eight counts, breathe out for eight counts. I repeated the technique until I had calmed down.

"It was nothing." I trying to push it off as nothing. "Just a nightmare." I heard Dean scoff. I looked at him, he was standing the door, arms crossed, leaning against the door frame.

"Sam here says the same thing when ever he dreams about Jessica." Sam turned around to glare at Dean. "I'll go get you something to drink." Dean rolled his eyes as he walked out of the room. I touched Sam's ribs.

"How are your ribs today?" I asked, hoping to change the subject. He was in a plain gray tee shirt and a blue plain button up, which was unbuttoned. He looked down at my hand and placed his over mine.

"Good as new." He said with a smile, as he looked up into my eyes. I heard Dean approaching the bed and quickly pulled my hand away from Sam's and accepted the tea cup that Dean handed me. I sipped at the tea and could not resist making a face.

"Sorry. I've … um … never made tea before." Dean looked sheepish. I shook my head.

"It's okay." I said putting the cup down on my nightstand. "I was not really in the mood for tea anyway." Dean sat down at the foot of my bed.

"Are you going to tell us what that nightmare was all about?" Dean asked. I bit my lip and began chewing on it. I was not ready for them to understand my past. When I had first met John, he had told me everything about his life. He had showed trust in me before I had proven that I could be trust. It was time I showed the same trust in his boys.

"I told you that John saved my life." I paused, Sam had taken my hand. I guess it was shaking. "But what I didn't tell you was he had saved me from myself." I saw Dean looking at me.

"My real last name is McDermount. I was engaged once." Sam's grip loosened. I felt my body beginning to shake. "His name was Jacob Dayton, he was 24. And he was one of my Federal Academy Instructors. We were set to be married on September 23, 2006." I paused to get my trembling body under control. I ran the hand that Sam was not holding through my hair.

"My parents had come to stay with us the night before the wedding. They were going to watch the house we had bought while we were on our honeymoon in Puerto Rico." I had to pause again to collect myself.

"It was about 3 in the morning when I woke-up in a panic. Jacob was sleeping and so where my parents. I didn't want to wake them, so I went out back to look at the stars." I paused, the memory flooding over me like a tsunami.

"I heard a crashing sound come from inside my parent's room, so I ran up stairs. But …uh … it was too dark, I could hear something dripping. I turned on the light …" I was shaking so bad. I pulled my knees up my chest. "There were two pools of blood on the bed. I looked up and found my parents pinned to the ceiling." I felt the tears running down my face.

"I ran into our room and found Jacob pinned to the ceiling. His face frozen in terror. He knew about me, about the things I could do. I was convinced that his knowledge was what got him killed. A fire started behind him and I scream." I paused. "I scream until I ran out of air." I paused again, closing my eyes, trying to pushed the burning images out of my head.

"The next thing I knew I was outside in an ambulance, with the police all around me." I wiped the tears away from my face.

"Jacob's parent put me in an institution. I escaped after three months. Your father found me in Washington. He gave me a new identity, and taught me how to hunt the right way. He taught me the code, and everything he knew. I have been doing it ever since." I felt Sam squeezed my hand and I watched Dean stalking back and fourth.

"Dean?" He stopped abruptly. "Would you sit down?" I asked. He looked at me and sank into the lovesac I had in the corner of my room. I looked back at Sam, whose eyes were locked on me.

"I'm sorry." He said. I raised an eyebrow.

"For what? You didn't kill them." I asked. Sam smiled slightly.

"I am sorry that you had to experience that. I …" He paused. "I know what it feels like." Sam looked down at our hands.

"Sam, you need to stop blaming yourself for Jessica's death. Sometimes bad things just happen." I said, Sam looked at me. "Yes, I am a mind reader too." I heard Dean sigh and felt him roll his eyes. "Just what you need. Huh, Dean?" He sat bolt up.

"Okay! That's it! House rule!! No reading my mind!" Dean snapped. I tried stifle my laugh but it ended up coming out as a snort.

"I can teach you to shield your thoughts." I offered, attempting to recover gracefully. "Other wise, I will always hear your thoughts. I can't help hearing them, just like you can't help thinking them." Dean nodded and tried really hard not to think about anything. He was unsuccessful. I just shook my head. Sam was somewhat better at shielding his thoughts from me. But his worry was coming in loud and clear.

"Sam, I know that you are worried about me and worried by me. I promise I am not a danger to you or your brother. But being a hunter, I am always in danger. Like it or not, that is something that you will have to deal with." Sam's eyes betrayed his emotions.

"I know, I just don't like seeing women in danger. That's all." He explained. I shook my head, turning my full attention to him. _Damn chivalry._

"I am more of a danger to the things we hunt, than they are to me." A bit cocky, I admit. But it got my point across. Sam suddenly remembered the demon's heart bursting into flames in my hand. He turned my hand over and found no burns. He looked up at me with wide eyes and terrible confused.

"I have been thinking about the same thing. I am not impervious to harm. That burning heart would have left a mark." Dean suddenly stood up.

"Sam told me all about what happened." I turned my eyes on Dean. "Do you think this things is still alive?" I nodded.

"We have some research to do. Dean you can take the computer between the picture windows in the Great room. I know how much you hate looking through dusty old books." I said, pulling the phrase out of his head. He frowned.

"Sorry, I had too." I smiled which caused him to relax a little.

"Sam and I will take to the books." Suddenly my stomach let me know that it was hungry. I looked down in surprise and the growl ripped through my core. Sam and Dean looked at each other and busted out laughing. I smiled to myself and stood up, realizing all too late that I was only wearing was a pair of boxers and a sports bra. I stood there for a moment before deciding to play it off as nothing. I gracefully walked off my bed and headed toward my bathroom.

"I will be out in a few to make some breakfast. Think about what you guys would like." I stole a quick glance over my shoulder to see Dean slugging Sam in the arm. Sam's eyes were as big as half-dollars. I closed the bathroom door and leaned my head against it, taking a few deep breaths before going about the process of getting dressed. I should be on my toes at all times. I should not have forgotten I was in a minimal amount of clothing. It was not helpful to me or Sam, for that matter. Of course I could hear Dean's thoughts through the door. _Nice body._ I cursed my inability to think straight around Sam.

_This is going to be a problem._ I thought, shaking my head.


	8. Chapter VII Revised 053007

**Chapter VII **

It was about 10 more minuets before I walked out of my bedroom, dressed in a pair of dark blue hip huggers, a black tank top and bare feet. I had pulled my hair up into a messy bun. I headed straight for the kitchen, walking past Sam and Dean without glancing at them.

"What do you guys want to eat?" I ask, leaning into the fridge. Cold air was good. Cold air should have helped me forget about the way it felt to have Sam there beside me. To feel his hands. Damn, not helping.

"Surprise us," came Sam's voice. It sounded like he had not even looked up from the book he was reading. Not entirely surprising for Sam.

"Okay." I grabbed the things I would need. Eggs, cheese, ham, and spices, I put the frying pan on the stove and turned the coils on. I set about making breakfast enough for all of us, which took the last half of the 18 large eggs. I whipped together a cheesy, hammy, scrambled eggs. I divided it up, making sure to give Sam and Dean bigger portions. I set the bowls down on the table.

"What do you want to drink?" I asked.

"Milk," Both of them replied, still not looking up from their tasks. I pour three large glasses of milk and set them down on the table.

"Breakfast is ready boys." I said. It seemed that Dean and Sam had gotten so lost in their tasks they had forgotten to smell to food. It was quite a sight to see them look at me and then take a whiff of the air. In a flash they were sitting down.

"Oh, I could get use to this!" Dean said, taking a bite of the eggs. I just smiled. Dean began to shovel his food into his mouth. I stifled a laugh.

"My mother was a professional chef." I grimaced slightly at the memory of her. Luckily neither of them noticed. "She took pride in teaching me the finer parts of the life." They ate like they had not had home cooked food in a long time. After breakfast, I rinsed the dishes and placed them in the dishwasher. Sam and Dean had returned to their research.

"So," I said, putting my hands in my pockets, feeling childish. "What do we have?"

"Well, so far we have a whole new level of frustration." Sam motioned for me to sit down on the couch. I sat on the arm instead.

"Do you ever just sit?" Dean asked from the computer. I shook my head as if he was actually looking at me.

"I perch." I said. "Easier to get up fast if a situation calls for it." Sam eyed me. I was never big on sitting; I perched more often than not. I had found out the hard way a few times that sitting down and relaxing every so slightly could get a hunter killed. Perching was much better for launching a counter attack. Sam considered me, maybe trying to read my thoughts, for a moment before continuing.

"But we did find this." He showed me the text.

"Omni Demon?" I read the title. Sam nodded.

"An Omni Demon can be anything it wants to be." I snorted, the smart-ass side of my brain bringing up the Army commercials 'Be All You Can Be'.

"They are rare and very powerful. Omni is short of omni_malevolent_." I raised an eyebrow. "The ultimate evil." Sam continued.

"Even worse is that they can become Deities." Dean said from the computer. _Fuck._ My brain thought to itself. I knew what the could mean and that was a place I was not willing to go. Killing Deities was messy business and there were serious consequences due to the serious Magicks it takes to bring down a Deity.

"Any thing on how to kill an Omni Demon?" I asked. Dean just grunted and shook his head. That was not good.

"What is this?" I pointed to the funny looking sword that was drawn on the same pages as the information. Sam shrugged.

"I am not sure." Sam said, leaning closer to the picture.

"It is called an Omni Weapon. It says that it can only be summoned by the pure of heart." I sighed. That was always the story. Pure of Heart.

See Pure of Heart is a tricky thing. In reality, it is pure intentions that will summon something that calls for the Pure of Heart. I could summon the sword but I was far from the Bible definition of Pure of Heart. I hope I don't have to explain that.

I got lost in my thoughts of how I was not the Bible definition of Pure of Heart and a smirk crossed my face. I became aware of the fact that Sam was watching me far to closely. I turned to him and our eyes locked.

"I think I found something!" Dean exclaimed. I let out a small squeak of shock and jumped off my perch. Dean turned to me with a flicker of something in his eyes.

"You're a witch right?" I nodded, suddenly very uncomfortable. I didn't like where this was going.

"Here." He wrote down the spell and handed it to me. It read;

_I am light,  
I am one too strong too fight,  
Return to dark, where shadows dwell,  
End this evil swell._

"Evil swell?" I raised an eyebrow. _My kingdom for a rhyme._ My smart-ass brain remarked.

"Here is the summoning spell." Sam wrote down the summoning spell and handed it to me. I looked doubtful at both of them and then at the two separate pieces of paper. I put the papers down and backed away. Dean and Sam both stood up and took one step to me. I put my hands up.

"I know what needs to be done, but I have not cast since before Jacob and my parents were killed." Sam moved faster than I had expected. His hands engulfed one of mine. I fought back the urge to cry out.

"Why?" he asked. I knew where he was going with this. He wanted to know why is I have all this power and don't use it. I removed my hand from his and turned my back to them. I could feel the tears and I didn't show weakness, ever.

"Because it scares me." _So much for not showing weakness._ "I lost it when Jacob and my parents were killed. I used my magick for destruction." I shivered as the memories passed over me like ghosts.

"When your father saved me, I swore I would not use again. I have been careful not to open that possibility up." I explained looking down at my hands. I could see the blood that was on them, human and demon alike. During that period I could not see the difference, evil was evil to me. The only problem was, humans could change, if giving the opportunity. I had taken human lives without thinking twice. I jumped as two large hands clasped down on my shoulders. I let me hands fall to my sides.

"We are here," Sam said. "I will be your anchor." I felt myself flush, thankfully they could not see it. I knew what he meant but my gutter mind took it very different. I took a deep breath. I felt Sam put his hands on my shoulders again. I could feel Dean moving up close to Sam. I heard the safety being turned off on a gun. Dean. Always the cautious one. But it was smart none the less.

"_Natum Ad A Necral  
Dona In Tan La Noc_"

I said it three times, my word echoing through the room and into the Void. There was a sudden flash of light and a sword fell through the ceiling, landing in the floor next to me. Sam and Dean looked at each other and then at me, I had read the spell once and memorized it. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I was still sane, that was a start.

"Now what?" Sam asked.

"Now we wait." I said, not wanting to touch the sword. I moved over to the bookshelves and grabbed a Special Crimes Unit book. I grabbed a bottle of water and settled down on the couch to relieve my mind of the daunting task. Dean eyed the sword, wanting to touch it.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Dean." Dean looked over at me, my back was facing him. He pouted.

"Don't make faces. We don't know what that sword is capable of. And I am sure you want to tempt it, but I would not recommend taunting Fate." I said. Dean shock his head, thinking about what I had said. Sam moved to the other side of the couch, sitting down opposite of me. He settled in with on of the many Demonology books I had in my vast collection.

"How can you two just sit there?" Dean asked, he was getting antsy.

"Go to the garage, Dean. I made half of it a work out room. Go have fun." I said, without even turning around. Dean was silent but he was interested. He walked out to the garage and I could feel his excitement. He was like a giddy little boy in a toy store. It was amusing. A smile spread across my lips as I read the words of the book.

_Even before she opened her eyes, Riley Crane was aware of two things. Her pounding head, and the smell of blood. Neither was all that unusual. Instinct and training made her lie perfectly still, eyes closed, until she was reasonably sure she was fully awake._ I felt Sam's eyes looking over my form and it was very distracting. _She was on her stomach and probably on a bed, she thought. Possibly her own bed. On top of the covers, or at least not covered up. Alone._ Sam was staring harder now. I sighed.

"You won't be able to read my mind by just looking at me, Sam." He jumped at the sound of my voice. He flushed slightly, embarrassed by his actions or maybe just that he had been caught.

"How do you do it?" He asked, again, I knew what he had meant but my gutter brain took it to an entirely different place. Again.

"I have been psychic my whole life, Sam. I have never known what it was like to be normal." I said, not looking up from my book. Truth was I was just staring at the giant 1 with a spider web back round.

"I don't understand how it works. I just know it does." Sam shifted, making the leather groan.

"Can you teach me?" He asked. I took a deep breath and closed the book. I had not even gotten past the first page, so there really was no need for a bookmark. I looked up at his pleading eyes. I felt my heart pull toward him.

My mother had always told me that everyone, everywhere had the potential to be a powerful psychic. Being psychic came just as naturally as walking if one took the time and just learned. She also said that when one was ready to learn, they would find a teacher, and when the teacher was ready to teach, the student would ask to be taught. I knew now what she meant. Damn riddles.

"This will not be easy, Sam." I said. I locked gazes with him and felt a different kind of pull. A magickal on level. It was a gaze all right, but I had developed the talent of stopping a gaze before it happened. But I still got a brief glance.

"I can tell that you already have the gift of precognition. But it is unreliable. You have to be patient and willing to work hard. Teaching these techniques is not easy either. It is a process that we both have to work through. Your gifts will present themselves when you are ready to handle them, whether you believe it or not. Your mind knows what you can and can not handle." I began. I put the book down on the coffee table. I shifted so that I was sitting on leg folded over the top of the other, back straight.

"First, you have to begin by grounding yourself, do you remember how to do that?" I asked, Sam nodded.

"The directions may sound simple, but they are far more difficult to fulfil." Sam nodded.

"Take a deep breath. In… and out…" I closed my eyes, feeling the calm take over.

"Clear you mind of all thoughts, your mind must be empty in order for this to work. Now this might feel a little uncomfortable." I opened my eyes and found Sam sitting there, eyes closed. I moved toward him, so that I was kneeling directly in front of him. I placed my hands on either side of his head and closed my eyes again.

_I found myself in a large hall filled with doors. _

"_Sam?" I called out, he was suddenly at my side. He looked around confused. I smiled. _

"_This is a journey for you. I am simply your guide." He nodded and took my hand. I looked down in a slight state of shock. I looked up at Sam and his focus was straight forward. I swallowed thickly and looked forward. _

"_Now you have to find a door." He looked at me. I smiled. _

"_This hall way is your minds way of showing itself to you, allowing you to see your potential. Each door represents something that you can already do or are capable of doing. It can be something as simple as walking or something as complex as doing calculus in your head. Some of the doors are open, those represent the things you can already do. And some are closed, representing the things you have to potential of doing." Sam nodded and slowly moved forward. He stopped to look into one of the open doors and saw himself talking. _

"_Keep in mind that we are in a venerable state, Sam. We can't stay here for long." I said. He nodded and moved on. I stole quick glances into the open doors, I am a curious person by nature. One of the doors was him and Jessica making love. I quickly averted my eyes to Sam who had stopped at one of the closed doors. He tried the handle and it was locked. _

"_Oh, yes. The locked doors are something your unconscious believes is dangerous to you." I paused. I was not sure if Sam had taken Psychology courses. Seeing that he was still staring at the locked door I went on. _

"_Our unconscious mind acts as a filter. If it believes that we are not ready, it will "lock" the doors." Sam seemed to be having a hard time will all of this. _

"_Sam?" he looked at me. "If you want to stop, just tell me and I can pull both of us out. I understand that this is a lot process." Sam just nodded and I watched as the hall and doors melted away._

I opened my eyes slowly, allowing them time to adjust to the light. I looked at Sam, who was opening his eyes too. He looked so sad, so lost. It hurt my heart to see him like that. I ran a hand through his hair. He looked down at his own hands, which had come to rest on my knees.

"Sam?" I asked him, sitting back on my legs. "What is it you are trying so hard to find?" I asked. He shook his head and moved to get up. I grabbed his hand.

"Look, I trust you. But in order for this to work, I need you to trust me too." I said. He thought for a moment about sitting down and talking with me but his thought was interrupted by Dean walking down the stairs. He had wrapped his lower half in a towel, thankfully.

"You two okay?" Dean asked, Sam just cocked his head to the side. "I came in about half an hour ago after working out for a few hours and the two of you were frozen. I could not wake either one of you up." Dean said. _Crap_ I had forgotten about that part. Time moves differently while inside someone's mind. I cursed myself. I am sure we scared Dean pretty bad.

"We're fine." I said, looking at the digital clock above the fireplace. 1648, sunset should be starting about now. Wow, time went fast. I got up off the couch and let Sam's hand slide out of mine. I walked back to my room.

"You two should get ready. The hunt starts at dusk." I glanced over my shoulder before heading to my room. I closed my bedroom door behind me and just leaned against it. I could hear their hushed voices. _Thank you hypersensitive hearing._

"Dude, what is going on?" Dean asked.

"Nothing," Sam answered. There was a silence.

"Don't lie to me, man. I see the way you look at her." Dean said.

"It's nothing." Sam insisted. There was another silence.

"Yeah, whatever." That was that, the typical Winchester conversation. Most communication was done with body language or glaring. I listened for a little while longer before heading in to my closet to get my hunting gear.


	9. Chapter VIII Revised 053007

**Chapter VIII**

Sam and Dean were waiting for me. They were in their normal everyday clothing. Jeans, biker boots, and at least two shirts topped by a jacket. I was in my traditional black gear. I walked up to the sword that was sticking out of the floor. I took a deep breath, I felt Sam put his hand on my shoulder. I took another deep breath and wrapped my hand around the handle. There was a slight burning sensation that I chose to ignore. I pulled up and the sword came out of the ground with little effort. I still had my Desert Eagles in the shoulder holsters, but they were more of a safety thing. Even though I knew they weren't going to be much help.

"So here is the plan. I will go to the clearing where we met this Omni Demon last time. I want the two of you to go out into the woods and clear everyone out. I want us to be the only choice this thing has." I explained. Dean raised his hand.

"Only choice?" He asked for clarification.

"This thing has a taste for human flesh. I want it to come to us because we are the only human flesh in the forest." Dean nodded.

"Right…." He stated.

"I have two turbo-quads." I tossed the keys to them. "Sam, I want you to drop me off in the clearing, then I want the two of you to clear out the forest." Sam looked like he was about to protest.

"We can have that talk after this thing is dead." I said, heading for the door before either of them could protest. It was quite a chore to hold the sword without presenting a danger to Sam or myself, as well as hold on to Sam so I would not fall off the back of the quad. He pulled to a stop just outside the clearing and I carefully got off. Dusk was fast approaching and we had very little time. I moved to walk away and felt Sam catch my arm. I turned and found my lips connecting with his. His arms engulfed me, one resting at the base of my neck and the other around my waist. My hand that was not currently holding the sword entangled itself in his hair. His lips were warm and soft on mine and ever so distracting. I suddenly had the urge to throw him to the ground and make sweet music. My brain finally kicked in and I began to pull away. As I pulled away our lips seemed reluctant to let go of each other.

"Be careful," he whispered, touching our foreheads together.

"You too." I replied, Sam pressed our lips together for another brief moment before turning quickly and roaring into the forest.

"I really wish you hadn't done that, Sam." I said to myself as I watched him disappear into the forest. I took a deep breath and walked out in to the middle of the clearing. I sat down, one leg folded over the other and placed the sword across my lap. That was the first time I dared to look at it. It gleamed a deep orange colour as it reflected the setting sun. It looked exactly like Andúril, the Sword of the King of Gondor. Save for the inscriptions. It was a language I didn't know. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I placed one hand on the hilt of the sword and the other over a part of the blade that rested on my knee. Sam's kiss had distracted me, a lot. I needed to focus, I needed to be focused on winning. There was no other option. I knew this was going to hurt, a lot. And I was right.


	10. Chapter IX Revised 053007

**Chapter IX**

It was about 1815 before I heard the first indication that the demon was coming. I opened my eyes to find a moon lit world in front of me. My heart jumped up a notch in its beating. I fought to control my heart rate, bringing it back down to resting. I could feel the evil approaching, it was like an icy mist flowing toward me. I hoped that Sam and Dean were some where safe. Then I heard their footsteps approaching. Damn. They had just kneeled down beside me when we heard the roar of an angry beast.

"You wanted us to be the only ones left." Dean whispered hurshly. He pulled out one of his guns and thumbed back the hammer. Sam did the same thing.

"That won't be of any use." I stated grabbing the handle of the sword. I could feel the cold metal warming. I watched with curiosity as the heat formed a dull white glow around my hand and the sword. Dean and Sam noticed the glow and both looked wide eyed as it began to pulse with my heartbeat. I heard a crashing that was heading our way. I was no calmer than I had been before. I just knew what I had to do and I was more reluctant than Sam or Dean could comprehend. Using magick took me to a dark place, or it could, a place that John had dragged me out of. A place I sworn I would never go again. But Sam and Dean swear up and down that there is no other way. I took a deep breath and apparently forgot to let it out. Sam put his hand on my knee, causing me to jump, letting out a small yelp. Dean just shook his head. I sighed and forced myself to calm down and ignore the warmth of Sam's hand on my knee. The crashing was getting closer and I felt an icy cold finger run up my spine. We were facing the wrong way. I stood up quickly, spinning in a slow circle, sword still hidden in the grass, though the glow was getting brighter. I kept turning until one of the shadows caught my attention.

"I thought I had gotten rid of you." The demon took on the more human form as it stepped from the shadows. Its voice rough, deep.

"You almost did." I said, moving towards it. I prayed that Sam and Dean would stay low and not attract the demon's attention. So far, so good.

"But, strong as I am, I am not impervious to harm. Your heart bursting into flames into my hand would have burned me." I showed it my hand. It regarded me with slight adoration

"So I did my research, and found out what you are." I paused as the demon cocked its head to the side.

"Omni Demon." A sly smile spread across its lips, revealing shark like teeth. I kept my poker face blank. Though inside every fiber of sense I had was screaming at me to run the other way. Shark teeth? Yesh!

"See, your kind can shift into any form they wish. That was when it hit me. Fire demons can self-combust, giving their attacker the thought of a death. But the Fire demon can reform and carry on." I said.

"You stepped into my land. And I will not allow you to carry on." The demon and I were nearly face to face now. Its presence was cold and challenging.

"I under estimated your abilities." It cocked its head to the side, smile widening. "Though you don't even know your own potential." I felt the anger being to rise from the pit of my stomach.

"Feels good, doesn't it." It said to me, hissing. It got even closer to me, our lips almost touching. The thought disgusted me, but I refused to back down.

"I know what you fear." It moved from one side of my neck to the other side, sniffing me. I fought down a shiver of disgust.

"That dark place that lays deep inside you. The darkness that you suppressed. You fear that it will consume you if you use your abilities." The demon brushed its cold cheek against mine.

"The fear that you will loose someone you care about again and not being able to recover." The demon suddenly through out its hand. Sam and Dean rose up out of the grass, suspended in the air, choking. I spun but the demon pulled me to its chest by my throat. It began to stroke me cheek with it first finger. A snake like tongue shot across my neck. I could see Dean and Sam struggling for air.

"No matter what you do. My kind will always win." Its tongue flicking across my neck a seconded time spurred me into action. In one swift movement I brought the sword up and pushed it with all my strength into the demon's chest. It released Sam and Dean, then tumbled to the ground. I spun around, hand still on the handle. I felt the anger taking over me. I put both hands on the handle, slamming the sword all the way to the hilt.

"Your kind will **never** win." I said, twisting the sword. "Not as long as I still breathe." It cried out in ear piercing agony.

"The spell, Jay!" I heard Sam's rough voice call to me, like a beacon through the darkness. I twisted the sword again, seeing the pain in the demon's face made me feel good, too good.

"_I am light,  
I am one too strong too fight,  
Return to dark, where shadows dwell,  
End this evil swell. _

_Go away, and leave my sight,  
And take with you this endless night.  
Beast of legend, myth, and more,  
Give my worst the power to sore,  
And kill this evil evermore_."

I felt the heat start in my chest, slowly building, like a forest fire in its beginning stages. The heat became searing pain and I fell to my knees but could not release the sword. The demon on its knees in front of me. When I felt like I was going to keel over, the heat shot through my arms, into my hands, I heard sizzling as something burned itself into my left palm. Then the heat shot through the sword, into the demon in the form of burning white-gold flames. I heard the more sizzling as the metal became instantly white-hot. I bit my lip to keep from crying out, I bit so hard that a small line of blood trickled down my chin. The demon began to heat up, like it was boiling from the inside out. Suddenly a white flames burst out from where I had run it through, like the fire was trying to escape. With a sudden out cry, the demon through its arms out and exploded. Throwing me backward with such force I felt like my brain was going to explode. I felt an impact, heard my back crack and my world go black. The next thing I knew, I heard Sam's panicked voice and Dean yelling.

"Jay?" Sam called to me. All I saw was a small light, like a star in my dark world.

"JAY!?!?!?" I felt Sam's hands on my shoulders, on my neck pulse point. He was not shaking me, no … he was holding me in place. I forced myself to open my eyes. I opened my mouth to talk but all that escaped was a pained moan, followed by a painful cough and the taste of blood.

_Fuck. That is not good._ Sam's full attention was on me. I could see and feel the panic. _Okay, Jay, you need to calm down and tell him everything will be fine_. I told myself. _Everything is going to be alright, right?_ I seriously began to doubt it when I became fully conscious of the pain that raged through my body. I felt like I had been hit by a meteor.

"Ohhhhh ….." I moaned, this time there was more blood. I could feel it bubbling in my mouth as it flowed out of the corner. I watched as Sam wiped away the blood that had dribbled out of the corner of my mouth.

"Dean, she's waking up!!" I heard Sam call to Dean. The sky looked different from down here. Calming, sparkly even. But there were flashing lights and lots more commotion once I was finally able to push past the pounding inside my own head. I even heard a chopper.

_A chopper? What the f…? There was no way Sam and Dean had called to cops. No way. They would rather die than alert the authorities._ I heard rushing footsteps and three people in Paramedic uniforms came rushing into my peripheral vision.

_Fuck! They had called in the normal people._ That could only mean one thing. I was really hurt. I could see tears glistening at the edges of Sam's eyes. I reached up and touched the side of his face. Leaving a smudge of blood on his cheek. I felt the C-spin go around my neck, the cold backboard under my body. My body was starting to feel numb, kind of tingly. I watched Sam as they strapped me in and took me out of his arms. All of my heat was suddenly stolen from me when I left his arms. I began to shiver furiously.

"She is going into shock!!" I heard one of the EMT's shout. The pain came back to me in a sudden rush as I was lifted in to the helicopter.

_I must have broken something._ I thought as I made note of how pretty the flight for life colours really were. Then I remembered hearing my back crack.

_Oh Crap._ Was the only thing I could think at that moment. They loaded me into the chopper and the chopper took off towards St. Helens, at least that was an educated guess. I felt a pinch and then liquid fire invaded my veins. I started to panic, it hurt, it hurt more than mere words can describe. I fought against it, but in my weakened state I was easily subdued by the very large looking man who was tending to me.

"Hung on, ma'am. We are almost there. We are doing the best we can." His voice was rough and reminded me of John.

_Wait… Doing the best we can? Oh, this can not be good._ Was the last thought to go through my mind before the darkness that had been creeping around the edges of my consciousness finally took over.


	11. Chapter X Revised 060607

**Chapter X**

_This is it._ I thought. _I'm dead._ All I saw was darkness. And yet there was a funny sound nagging at the edge of my consciousness. A beeping, like an alarm or something. I felt myself frown.

_What the hell?_ I wondered. I worked the fingers of my hands and felt something hard and steel like sticking in my left hand.

_Ouch. Son of a bitch!!_ Then there was something attached to the index finger of my right hand. I felt something else attached to my chest.

_Okay! That is it!! What is going on?!?_ I was more angry and confused than anything else. I didn't understand what was happening. If I was dead, then this must be some kind of limbo. Some kind of annoying limbo. Then I felt a warm hand slip into mine, the fingers curled around my hand and wrist, a thumb rubbing across my knuckles. I blushed at my earlier reaction to the dark when I realized that my eyes were closed. I slowly opened my eyes and was greeted by white. White ceiling, white walls, white curtains, everything was fucking white. Now I was really confused. I tried to move my head but it was held firmly in place by something hard and plastic-y feeling. I moaned painfully and jumped as Sam pooped up in my peripheral. My frowned deepened.

_Why would Sam be in my heaven? _My conscious knowing that we as humans create our own heaven and hell. I paused, a wave of images flooding over me._ Wait …. Wait … Let me rephrase that, gutter mind of mine. Why is Sam dead?_ Then it hit me, well, not literally, I was in the hospital.

_Oh, okay. I guess that is better than the morgue._ I saw Sam start leaning over me, his eyes dancing over my undoubtedly fragile looking frame.

"I am fine, Sam." I said, my own voice sounded foreign to me. Like I was speaking through a grinder. And, not to mention, it hurt like hell to talk at all. Sam jumped, nearly out of his own skin and I watched as he disappeared and reappeared. Sam took my hand again, his thumb running over my knuckles. It was surprising how comforting that simple contact was.

_Okay. Confused._ I thought. Then a man dressed in white entered the room. I groaned.

_I have had it with the white theme!!_ I wanted to shout but my vocal cords were not cooperating, I guess I was lucky to be able to tell Sam I was fine, which I knew I really wasn't. I watched as more people, dressed in white, entered the room. One of them tried to usher Sam out, yet my hand, having a mind of its own, flexed around his. I knew I didn't want him to leave, after all, he was the only face I knew. That, and, I was never comfortable around doctors. They gave me the creepy-crawly feeling. Something about the white, the needles, and the cold exam tables. All of it gave me the hibby gibbys.

Then of course there was the fact that any person who had passed with in the last 24 hours would seek me out. Not fun. It was like listening to three hundred different radio stations at once and not being able to find the off switch. I had to get out of here, ASAP.

When the nurses could not separate my hand from Sam's they reluctantly allowed him to sit in the chair beside my bed as they busied themselves by tending to me. I watched with wide eyes as they poked and prodded all of my extremities, each one of my toes and fingers. Hell they even felt up my ears! Yep, that's right, my ears!! I had the insatiable urge to punch them all, but alas, my body would not move. Once they had determined that I was going to regain full mobility they increased the pain meds and left the room. Leaving me with Sam and the eternal feeling of being violated in all senses of the term.

I knew all too well from experience what was going to happen, with my body, that is. I would be fine in three days, much to the shock and awe of the staff, but I would be sore for about a week, maybe more depending on how bad the damage really was. That meant no hard hunting for me, nothing physically trying. And that was when the gutter side of my brain began to kick in. Trying desperately to ignore it, I turned my attention to Sam, who was staring at me.

"You are not going to be able to read my thoughts just by staring at me, Sam." I stated, the message was just not getting through.

"Maybe I just like looking at you," he said. That caught me off guard. I frowned. He laughed. Not funny, in my opinion. I tried to explain to him why I needed to leave now, but Dean walked in with two hot cups of coffee.

"Hey, Sammy. How is she?" Dean asked.

"I am fine, thank you, Dean." I said, he nearly jumped out of his skin and was lucky to hold on to the coffee. I mused about the fact that I had scared Dean for a moment before seeing a ghost walk by the door. A look of panic crossed my face. Luckily the spirit had not noticed me. Must be the meds.

"I need to get out of here, now." I stated. Dean shook his head.

"No can do, chicky. They have this place locked down tight." Dean said. I glared at him. I hated being called chicky.

"Watch me." I said. Dean just raised an eyebrow. We waited until the shift change. I had gone into the bathroom and put on my normal clothes, well, my pants and one of Sam's shirts. They had cut mine off and my bra with it. I was pissed and lucky to still have my pants in tact. That bra had been a nice bra. As soon as the shift change occurred we walked out of the hospital. I keep the C-Spine on per Sam's request. He was worried about my neck floppin' over or something. I knew better, but I promised to wear it until tomorrow. Dean had jacked a bottle of pain killers, how he did it, I am pretty sure I didn't want to know. But we just walked out the back door. It was easy, not the hardest place I had broken out off. Sam sat with me in the back seat as Dean drove back to my house. It was a long ride and I still had drugs in my system. Half way home I had leaned against Sam's shoulder and fallen asleep. I was wrapped snuggly in his shirt as I felt Dean hitting the dirt road that lead to my house. I sat up slowly, careful not to cause myself a head rush, those could be brutal, especially as a psychic. Dean pulled up to the garage and turned off the car. Sam got out and helped me out of the car and into the house. I popped a couple of the pain meds and put the bottle in the medicine cabinet and headed off to my room. I walked into my room and shed all of my clothes, all but Sam's shirt, and climbed into bed. So my sheets were a little cold at first but they always were. There was no way I could have slept in that hospital. I heard my door creek open.

"You know, Sam, you should not come into a hunters room unannounced." I stated, not even attempting to roll over.

"But I don't need to announce myself with a psychic." Okay, so he had me on that one.

"What do you want Sam?" I asked.

"I want to make sure that you are okay," he said, I heard him walk to the foot of my bed and take a seat in the lovesac. I sighed.

"You're not going to go away are you?" I asked, meaning it in more than one way.

"Nope, you're suck with me." I could hear the smile in his voice.


	12. Chapter XI Revised 060607

**Chapter XI **

I felt the warmth of the sun creeping over my body and I realized that I had forgotten to close the black-out curtains. Sun on my bed meant that it was about 0930. Yuck. Way too early for me to even be conscious. I heard my door squeak open. I rolled over painfully and found Sam standing there with a glass of water, a Nutri-Grain bar, and a cupped hand. In that hand I prayed there were two painkiller pills. Sam smiled.

"Good morning," he said. I groaned and sat up slowly.

"It is morning." I stated. "But I have decided that it is not good." I watched as Sam set the water, Nutri-Grain bar and the two little pills containing peace on my nightstand. He reached over and unsnapped the C-Spine. He removed it very gently and let it fall to the bed. He gently massaged the muscles of my neck. Oh that felt way too good. His fingers moved nimbly around the Cervical Vertebrae. The muscles were sore, but healed. Sam was watching my face as he checked the spots. I winced a couple times as he hit a few spots beside third and forth Vertebra. Pain was something that I was accustom to, the life of a Hunter is not one of luxury and pampering.

"Lay on your stomach." He ordered. I, in shock at his authority, did as I was told. I felt Sam lifting up the shirt I was wearing. The covers were resting at the tip of my tail bone and now the shirt was up to my shoulders. I struggled not to think about the possibilities and positions I could get myself into from here, that was, if I was not hurting so bad.

"Tell me if anything hurts." He stated. I felt his hands begin at my lower back, his thumbs massaging the muscles on either side of my spine. As soon as he got to the Thoracic 12 and 11 I could not contain my cry, though I tried to stifle it by shoving my face into a pillow. Sam's hands immediately left my back. It took me a moment to recompose myself and bite back the pain.

"I'm okay, I'm okay." I am not sure who I was trying to convince, me or Sam. I felt Sam's hand start just above the spot that had made me cry out and worked his way all the way up to the base of my neck. I involuntarily let out a soft moan as he squeezed my shoulders. I felt the fabric of the shirt moving back down my back. Once I was sure that I was decent I turned over slowly.

"Here," he handed me the Nutri-Grain bar, which he opened for me. I eat half of it, he handed me the painkillers. I downed those and made a face. I never liked swallowing pills. Then I finished the Nutri-Grain bar, washing it down with the rest of the water. Man, my back was going to be mad at me for at least a month. Oh well, pain comes with the territory. Luckily severe pain only came every now and then. Sam and Dean had talked right outside my door, they thought I was asleep.

"We should wait for her to get better." Dean said. I could hear Sam thinking. "Come one dude! Forget about your feelings for her and think of what she can do!! She could be a good asset on the road."

"I don't have feelings for her, Dean." Sam said simply. "There is nothing going on between us."

"How stupid do you think I am, Sammy?" Dean asked, I could hear him getting annoyed. "I see the way you look at her. I have not seen you look at anyone like that since Madison and Sarah." I could feel the pain at the mention of those two names. I wondered to myself who they had been to Sam.

"You're imagining things, Dean." Sam was growling. I could hear it and feel it. His pain had shifted almost immediately to anger.

"Liar." Dean was able to sum up the entire conversation with one word. And it was a good word too. I could feel Sam's confusion and slight panic. Dean had his own abilities, whether he knew it or not. He could sense Sam's feelings for me and, though I am reluctant to admit it, my feelings for him. I understood fully what was happening between us. But I still felt like I was betraying Jacob some how. It had been nearly two years since he had died and I had never felt for another man… until Sam. I heard Sam open the door again and just stay where he was. I guessed he was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed. I became aware of the feeling of eyes gliding over me. I turned my eyes toward him. I had been right about his stance.

"Sam, if you want to know something just ask me. It would easier than you staring at me hoping one of my thoughts will just jump out at you." I was going to regret that statement and I knew it the moment it left my lips. Sam took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of my bed.

"Dean is under the impression that there is something here…" He paused, debating whether or not he should take my hand. "Between us." He finished after deciding to keep his hands to himself. I held my breath, before deciding what to do or say for that matter. There were too many things dashing around in my mind.

"Do you think there is something between us?" I asked, deciding to try and dodge making any rash statements, mostly since I could not lock a coherent thought down. Signs that the drug was starting to kick in.

"I am not sure." He said. He was looking down at our hands, which were so close together but never touching.

_Good dodge._ I thought. He wanted me to answer before he did.

"Sam…." I started, his eyes said he knew what I was about to say. But I had to say it anyway. My mind was starting to get a little fuzzy; the painkillers were kicking' in.

"I don't think this is a good time to talk about this." I side stepped the issue. I didn't know what else to do. I knew what was happening. I was falling in love. But there was no way in **hell** I was ready to admit that to him, let alone to myself. If I don't confirm it, I can deny it. Or so I thought. Sam just nodded, seeing the glaze that was over taking my eyes. Damn those pain killers were working fast! I was starting to see dancing pink elephants and the room was starting to morph in weird and oddly entertaining ways. Sorry Sam, our serious conversation was going to have to wait.


	13. Chapter XII Revised 060607

**Chapter XII **

It was one year before Sam tried to talk with me again. Yep, one year. I am **really** good at dodging.

It was the summer of 2009 when we were back in my house and staying there for a while. Sam and I had been dancing around the issue for a year. We had found our lips falling into each other while we were waiting for a prey to walk into our trap. Odd little adventures of exploring each others clothed bodies, but neither one of us took a step toward the dating arena.

Dean had finally gotten sick of our games and yelled at both of us. He had stormed out of the hotel room that we had rented for that particular job. When the door slammed we were left in the eerie silence with Dean's word echoing in our heads.

"I HAVE HAD IT WITH THE TWO OF YOU!! MY GOD!! YOU LIKE HER, SHE LIKES YOU! WHAT IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM!!" I was looked down at my hands and Sam was looking at something invisible on the wall. We sat there for what felt like forever.

"Jay?" Sam finally broke the silence. I didn't look at him. "I think it is time." I just nodded. I was not sure where to start.

"Sam, I …." He was suddenly right beside me on the bed. I turned and felt a tear slip down my cheek.

"Someone once told me something that I have found to be every true. When you block out the pain of losing someone, you block out all the good things that can happen to you." Sam said. I knew that he was right and my heart reached out for his, as did every fiber of my being.

Over the past year I had taught him how the harness his abilities and strengthen them. He knew that we had a connection, a bond like nothing either of us had ever felt. It was undeniable, though we both did our best to deny it.

"I just feel like I would be betraying my promise to Jacob." I blurted out. Once I realized what I had said I covered my mouth and my face got red. Sam just smiled his gentle understanding smile that made me want to jump his bones right there.

"I felt the same way about Jessica." He paused, a brief moment of pain crossing his face. "But then I thought about how she would feel about me spending the rest of my life alone. She would want me to be happy, even if it was with someone else." He paused and his hands moved for my hands.

"I am sure Jacob would want the same thing for you." He was right, damn it he was right. But I was so scared, scared of feeling for him and loosing him, scared of all the possibilities.

_I know you're scared, so am I. But part of Love is being scared together._ I heard his voice in my head. Damn, in my confused and frightened state I had let me shields down. Around him, now that he had control of his abilities, I had to be in a constant state of awareness. It was getting rather tiring, to be honest. I watched Sam's eyes soften and all of the sudden Emerson Drive's _Fall Into Me_ started to play in my head.

"Is that one you or me?" I asked with a laugh. Sam's laugh was something of beauty, full and whole hearted. He held nothing back. His hand traveled back into my hair and came to rest at the base of my skull. His other arm snaked around my waist, his hand finding its way to the spot between my shoulder blades. Sam's jade green/deep blue eyes looked into mine, his gaze soft and longing. He was waiting for me to make the next gesture.

Every time we kissed before in the past year, he made the first move and I allowed it to happen. Sam wanted the, how do I put this, effort to be mutual. I paused for a moment, his lips hovering above mine. His breath washing over my lips and neck was tantalizing. I slid my hands up his muscled arms, my hands finding a resting place on his shoulder blades. I hesitated for one more moment before I pushed our lips together and it felt like fire works had exploded in my body.

Suddenly I felt like I was on fire. Sam's lips were soft on mine and all I wanted was more. I had been fighting the temptation for over a year, every time he kissed me I put up a shield, a wall, in a pathetic attempt to deny my feelings for him. He melted the ice that I had packed my heart in. I had always figured that in the type of life I was in, it was better to not get attached to anyone at all. After all the average life expectancy of a hunter was 45 at best. Many of us were lucky to make it to 35. Danger was a constant part of our lives, we were never truly safe. If a hunter let their guard down for even a moment, someone could end up dead. Take it from me, it is worse than your own death to have an innocent person's death on your conscience, to have their blood on your hands.

At first our kiss was just lip to lip contact, like it had been all the times before. Comfortable and safe. But now I felt Sam's tongue pleading for entry. I ran a hand through his hair, pulling him closer to me. Our bodies fit together so perfectly one would think we were made for each other. He laid me down on the bed, moving so his body was draped over mine. I opened my mouth to him. Sam shifted as his tongue slid into my mouth. The bed groaned in protest at the weight that Sam and I were putting on the edge of it. These beds were not stable sleeping in the middle. Sam and I heard a creek and we pulled apart laughing. Sam was reluctant to let go of me, like all this was a dream.

"I am here, Sam Winchester. You have me." I said to him, kissing his lightly on the cheek. He released me and I crawled backward to the middle of the bed, he crawled on top of me. His arms slid under my back and rested on either of my shoulder blades, he placed himself between my legs. I felt my body tingle at the feeling of him in that position. He rubbed his nose against mine in the polar bear kisses. I just laughed. Sam closed his mouth over mine, engulfing the last part of my laugh. I wasn't going to ask how or where he learned to do what he does with his mouth and tongue, but that boy can work wonders, sending shivers raking my body. One of Sam's hands snaked its way up to the back of my neck, where he started to slowly massage my sore muscles. Boy if he was not careful this could move faster than I wanted it to. He knew just what to do to make me melt into him. I felt my body heating up in anticipation, I squeezing my legs around Sam for a brief moment, electing a soft moan. Just as things were starting to really heat up Dean burst into the room, electing a groan of protest from me. He seemed hurried.

"Come on, we have got to go!!" He was shouting . Sam and I just looked at Dean.

"The Banshee is on the move!!" Sam and I jumped into action. The only way to kill this particular breed of Banshee was to redirect her own scream back at her while reciting a spell. Which was going to be hard considering her scream is deadly to male ears, and if a Witch, such as myself, hears the scream and her heart is broken, she could turn into a Banshee. Dean and Sam grabbed the industrial strength earplugs and their weapons. I did the same, zipping on my vest, we were out the door and dashing down the street. Why we didn't take the car, I don't understand.

I could hear the screaming as Dean lead us toward it. I watched as Sam and Dean shoved the earplugs into their ears and checked their weapons. I saw the Banshee, kneeling over a man, who was bleeding out of the ears, eyes and nose. That was a new one. See, when a Banshee's scream is directed at you, your blood boils and runs out of every opening it can.

"HEY!!" I shouted as I came to a stop. The Banshee ignored me. I raised my Desert Eagle and fire one shot into her shoulder, in hindsight, probably not the best idea. But hindsight is always 20/20. She spun back, looking for her assailant. She spotted me and I knew I was in trouble. She charged me and we went toppling down a hill.

Damn it all! I could not remember the spell. Okay, so, I had to keep her from screaming. Shouldn't be too hard, right? Wrong. I watched her open her mouth to scream at me, in the fall she had ended up on top of me, pinning my torso to the ground. I reached up and covered her mouth. It was the best thing I had. I was able to get out from under her and I wrapped an arm around her neck, crushing her windpipe. That worked much better. I struggled to remember the spell.

"_The piercing cry that feeds on pain,  
And leaves more sorrow than it gains  
Shall now be heard by one who shrieks  
To stop the havoc that she wreaks._

_Ashes to ashes,  
Spirit to spirit.  
Take her soul,  
Banish this evil_."

I recited the spell three times, with my eyes squeezed closed. I opened them to find the Banshee swelling up like a balloon, before I had a chance to react, she blew up. Sending me flying back up the hill we had fallen down. I landed on my back and slapped my hands out, dispersing the momentum.

I laid there for a moment, the wind completely knocked out of me. The fire from her demise was rushing out over me. I curled up into a ball, I felt things falling around me and on me. Some of the things making a 'splat' sound as it landed on the pavement. After I felt no more heat I slowly moved, looking around. Sam and Dean had gotten the Banshee's victim to safety and were rushing back toward me. When Sam offered me a hand I got a look at my own hand, it was covered in Banshee remains. I stood up on my own, looking down.

"Ewwww," I groaned. Demon remains were just a bitch to get out of clothes, and it had a tendency to stain my skin for a few days. I sighed and shrugged at the boys. Dean had this disgusted look on his face.

"Oh come on! Its not like you have not been covered in nasty shit before!!" I exclaimed. Dean just shook his body and made a face. I made a mental note to punch him, after I had my shower. I started back to the hotel.

"We'll … um …we'll take him to the hospital." Dean said, gesturing to the victim. I just threw my arms up in the air. Thankfully there were no people in the parking lot of the hotel. I was not in the mood to lie about what I was covered with.

See, for the most part demon blood is gooey and either green, blue or purple. Only upper level demons with human halves bleed red. I entered our room and headed straight for the shower. I closed and locked the bathroom door, I removed my weapons and vest, setting them on the toilet seat. Screw taking my clothes off, they needed to be washed too. I turned the water on full blast and as hot as I could stand it. I step in and the smell of the hot water hitting the Banshee goo made me gag.

I grabbed the family size bottle of _Herbal Essences Botanicals, Moisturizing Body Wash, with Chamomile, Water Lily & Vitamin E_ and began to painfully slow process of washing out my clothes, taking them off, washing my body, well, more scrubbing my body. The smell was getting better. I heard Dean and Sam enter the room and shut the door behind them. I could hear them moving around, it was about that time that I realized that I did not have a set of clean clothes to change into. I cursed at myself for not thinking straight. I got back to the process of cleaning off my body. Then came the horribly long process of washing out my lower back length hair. By the time I was completely clean, I had used ¾ of the bottle of body wash and the rest of my shampoo and conditioner. But I felt infinitely better. I got out, hung my clothes over the shower curtain bar and wrapped myself in the longest towel I could find. Though I knew ultimately trying to hide my entire body behind the little rectangle of cloth was useless.

_Act cool, _I thought. _Right, act cool and walk out there in nothing but a towel!!_ I had to get over it, I mean it was just Dean and Sam. Right. Huh…. That line of thought was not working. I took a deep breath and opened to door. I was greeted by darkness and the sound of soft snoring coming from the cot Dean was sleeping on. I shrugged.

_That was easy._ I pulled the bathroom door closed so that only a small stream of light was bleeding into the room. I walked over to my bed, my night vision kicking in. I grabbed my duffel and pulled out a pair of sweat pants, a new pair of underwear, a new bra, and a tank top. I got dressed in a hurry, doing the wonderful get dressed with a towel around my body dance. Getting on the new underwear and sweats was no problem. The upper body part was going to be an issue. I took a deep breath, turned my back toward where the boys were sleeping and dropped the towel to my bed. I quickly put my bra on and grabbed the towel to dry my hair. I sat down on my bed and was ruffling my hair when I heard movement. I froze, the movement was coming from Sam's bed. I watched as a sleepy Sam pushed his way into the bathroom. He was wearing boxers, and boxers only. My eyes went wide at the sight of his toned and tan form moving into the light. I heard the click of the bathroom door and I was left in darkness, the image of a more than half-naked Sam etched into my mind. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I braided my hair and pulled out my gun cleaning kit. I waited until Sam walked out, still half asleep, watched him curl up under the covers of his bed and fall back into dreamland. There was going to be no sleep for me that night. I was aching, I still felt like I was covered in Banshee goo, and I needed to clean my guns and my vest.

The vest cleaning was debatable, that vest had so many different kinds of demon goo on it, it almost never seemed worth it to clean it. I walked back into the bathroom and closed the door. I didn't lock it in case on of the guys needed to use it. I would just slip out.

Most of the time after a hunt like this one, the boys were down for the count. An explosion would barely wake them from their slumber. Better for them. John had always said that when a hunter could find sleep, one should take it because one would never know when the next opportunity would come. I perched on the counter in the corner, facing the door. My vest was on the floor below me and my guns were on the counter. I laid out a towel and I took my guns apart, piece by piece. Once all the separate components were lying out on the towel I began the tedious task of thoroughly cleaning each piece to their previous shinny state. It was about four hours when I had finally finished. I snapped the barrel back on the second Desert Eagle. I put the guns back into the cleaned holster and leaned back against the wall. My neck and shoulders were on fire, pleading with me to go lay down and get some sleep before we headed back to my home in Oregon. Sam and Dean had taken up residents in my home as well, just like John had. They had taken the two guestrooms and made them their own. Not that I minded the company. It got pretty lonely in the back woods, away from any kind of civilization.

This trip Dean had practically begged to drive. Normally we drove two cars, his baby, the Impala and my 1995 Black Jeep Cherokee XJ 3" Skyjacker, 29x9.50 15 Mickey Thompson tires on 15x8 inch Eagle 54 Series Wheels. I had consented to riding with Dean. It seemed easier and was better considering the gas prices. We had been hunting together for the better part of two years.

Every hunt was an adventure all in themselves. But Dean and Sam found it nice to have a place where they were safe. They had actually gone out and bought a hot tub for patio. God, a hot tub sounded like heaven right now. My body never really like being thrown hundreds of feet in the air and landing. It could wear a girl out. I sighed and looked at my watch. 0300 hrs. Not a good time for people like me to be awake.

_Fabulous_. I grabbed one of my Desert Eagles and popped a magazine into the empty port. I cocked it, loading a round into the chamber, and I clicked the safety off. It would be a better idea for me to sleep with a loaded weapon under my pillow. I turned off the light and allowed my night vision to kick in before I opened the door carefully and slowly. My eyes swept over the room three times before I determined that it was safe to move to my bed. I slid under the covers soundlessly, I slid the gun under my pillow and laid down, half on my side, half on my stomach. My hand refusing to leave the handle, something about the solid metal in the palm of my hand made me feel better.

I laid there, allowing my, for a lack of a better phrase, spider senses to reach out. It was more commonly referred to as the psychic enhancement of one's natural senses. I closed my eyes, focusing the power on my hearing and my sixth sense. I could hear Dean and Sam, breathing softly, I could hear their hearts beating in the slow rhythmic pace of sleep. I could hear the rest of the tenets of the hotel. I could hear a TV that had been left on, a running shower and a couple …. I will spear you the details of that particular activity but I will tell you this much, it made me blush. I thought is was too early to be engaging in that sort of activity. Needless to say I always felt guilty for sensing out like that, but I had to make sure it was safe to fall asleep. The noises were ambient, nothing out of the ordinary for 0300 hrs in the morning. No screaming, no heavy breathing like someone watching and waiting. Once I was satisfied that it was safe I pulled the enhancing agent back and shut down. My hearing stayed alert at all times, but just at the normal level. Leaving an ability in psychic enhancement for a prolonged amount of time would/could be detrimental to the sense. I felt my body relaxing into the bed, melting, if you will. Soon my world was filled with nothing but the sounds of Sam and Dean sleeping.


	14. Chapter XIII Revised 060607

**Warning!!! Sexually Content!! If you don't like it, skip ahead to Chapter XIV! **

**Chapter XIII**

We had been back at the house for less than a month and Dean was already climbing the walls. He was itching for a hunt, of any kind, of course he preferred the female kind.

We had run into a particularly nasty spirit on the way back from the Banshee hunt. I was still recovering from getting my ass handed to me. I still had a small limp to my step. The bastard had dislocated my hip when he threw me through a wall. Yep, my hip had hit a stud. Ouch. Thank God we still had some really deal painkillers in the house.

I woke up one morning screaming out, damn nightmares. It was early too and Sam was still sleeping in his own room. We had decided to take things slow. Not that dancing around each other for two years was not slow enough. I was still reserved about a few things, making love to Sam, not matter how much I wanted to, was one of the things I was over thinking. Sam was patient with me, assuring me. I felt like such a ninny. But I couldn't help it. We had fooled around a few times, but the sex thing just never seemed right. Until that day.

I had woken up screaming. I had another nightmare, but this one was about Sam. My worst fear was invading my dreams. Sam came rushing into my room. I swear he must have leaped off the balcony. He was in his usual boxer's only nightclothes. I was bolt up in my bed, covered in a cold sweat.

Damn it. I had seen Sam get run through, and I had held him while he died. I was in tears, I didn't know what to say. Sam just walked over to me and wrapped my trembling form in his comforting embrace. We sat there until my trembling had subsided. Sam pulled back and kissed my forehead.

"Want to talk about it?" he asked, I shook my head. He nodded and moved to leave the room.

"Sam?" my voice was small and meek. He stopped at my door. "Stay with me?" I asked, Sam smiled and moved over to the lovesac that had become his second bed. I shook my head.

"No, here." I moved over in my bed so that he could slide in next to me. Sam paused for a moment, wondering if I was being sincere. When he finally decided that he would take my offer, he slid under the covers next to me. We moved so that we were in the middle of the bed. Sam laid flat on his back, I curled up next to him, my head resting on his heart. He wrapped on arm around me and it came to rest on my hip. His other hand held my right hand, playing with the ring I wore on my middle finger. He kissed my forehead again and closed his eyes. I just laid there, in his embrace, listening to his heartbeat. Eventually that sound lulled me into a pleasant sleep.

I was suddenly aware of a warmth lying with me. It took me a moment to figure out where I was, who I was with. Our positions had changed, I was lying on my left side, left arm under the pillow, holding Sam's left hand. His right arm was around my waist and was resting on the left side of my rib cage. His chin was gently touching my right shoulder. I shifted a little and Sam gently squeezed my hand and my ribs. I felt him shift behind me. He was still asleep. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I turned around to face him, my movement woke him up.

"Morning," he said, still sleepy. I smiled and moved a piece of his hair out of his face.

"Morning," I said, I kissed his lips lightly. I moved to get up and he held my close to him, shaking his head in the 'five more minuets, ma' fashion. I just smiled and kissed him again. I pulled out of his arms and he groaned in protest. I grabbed the closest shirt and pulled it on. I walked out of my room and closed the door behind me, not really sure if Sam was going to go back to sleep. I walked through the Great room and found a note on the dinning room table.

'_Gone out, climbing the walls, need to find something to do. Dean_'

I just shook my head. I knew it was going to happen sometime, Dean was never one to stay in the same place for long. Something about a Gypsy soul. I put the note back on the table and heading into the kitchen, my stomach was protesting the fact the it was empty. I opened the fridge and pulled out the making for my wonderful cheesy, hammy, eggs. I got out enough for breakfast for two. I was just putting the eggs into the bowls when Sam wondered out of my room. I heard the rustle of paper as Sam read the note and place it back on the table. Dean had left us alone for God knows how long. Then it hit me **Dean had left us alone.** Bastard, I knew now what he was up to.

_How the hell did he know? Wait, never mind, I don't want an answer to that question._ I was washing out the frying pan I had used when I felt Sam come up behind me. His long arms reach down below my shorts and drawing up to my hips, his fingers dug into my hips. Oh boy, I was starting to tingle. One of his arms snaked around my waist, holding me against him. The other traveled up my stomach, ghosting over my breasts. I gasped, yep, the chicken was done. I felt Sam growing hard against me. He began to massage one of my breasts, oh GOD! That felt way to good. Before I knew what was happening my body was reacting all on its own, my mind had gone silent. Good sign. I reached around behind Sam and squeezed his ass, pulling him closer to me. I was partially bending over the sink. In one swift move, Sam had me against the fridge, pinned under his weight. His eyes were dark with pure desire and lust, feelings I am sure my own eyes mirrored. We had waited long enough. I was ready to take this next step. I pushed Sam back just enough for me to be able to wrap my legs around his waist, my heels embedding in his ass cheeks, urging him closer. Sam was rock hard and I was wet. Sam pulled my shirt off and let out a groan of protest when he found my sports bra. Deciding it was too time consuming, Sam grabbed the closest knife. He looked at me and I nodded.

_Trust,_ I reminded myself. I felt the cold steel of the knife sliding between my breast, then freedom, Sam dropped the sliced bra to the ground and attached his mouth to one of them, while he massaged and teased the other. I arched against him,

_God where did he learn to do that??_ He gently nipped at my nipple and I was lost. I ran my hands through his hair, bringing his lips to my hungry mouth. With a burst of strength, I threw us to the ground. Sam landed with an 'Uumph' and now I had dominance. Sam had made a mistake about starting this in the kitchen. Too many fun toys to play with, too many things to use. I slipped Sam's boxers up and over his erection. Good God was he blessed!! I pinned him to the floor with my legs and opened the fridge. Whip cream, yep. That should do it.

I turned around and smiled devilishly at Sam, his eyes got wide and darker as he saw what I had in my hand. I slowly releases the grip I had on him, shaking the can. I covering his prick with whip cream and drew a line up his stomach, and chest. The line stopped at the hollow of his neck. I licked the whipped cream off him tortuously slow, making sure I got every single drop. Sam arched against me. Lucky for me, I still had my shorts on. For now. I licked hungrily up his stomach and chest. I stopped at the hollow of his neck and looked up at him. He seemed lost in ecstasy. I attacked the final spot of whipped cream, sucking hard enough to leave a mark. Sam took me by surprise, he wrapped one arm around my waist and flipped us. Now I was in trouble.

Sam, with his long arms, slipped my shorts to my ankles, tracing small circles back up my thigh, stopping just below my swelling hole. He spread my legs open and leaned down, taking my lips in a hard kiss. Before I knew what was happening he had plunged two fingers inside of me, my warmth given in to him. He moved his fingers in circles, searching for that spot, while his tongue was wrestling with mine. There were too many sensations for me to focus on at once. My body was starting to tremble, I knew what was coming, I could feel my body heating up. Sam had found that one spot inside me that could/would send me over the edge. Sam massaged the spot, making my body seize in the most pleasant of ways. Sam pulled back and I opened my eyes. My eyes turned yellow just before the first, of many, orgasms washed over me.

Sam smiled, that 'I know you secret' smile and continued to massage me as the spasms subsided. I reached down and grabbed Sam's cock in my hand, he jumped slightly at my sudden movement. I rolled us over again, now Sam was trapped against the lower cabinets, I had total control now. Sam's fingers were still inside me as I began to move my own hand up and down his shaft. Sam seemed lost for a moment before he withdrew his fingers just enough so that he could push them further in. I cried out in pleasure.

Enough was enough, no more fooling around. I pinned one of Sam's hands above his head and removed his fingers from me. I smiled and guided him to my entrance. I leaned down and captured Sam's mouth in a kiss, tender at first. I slid down on to him, impaling myself. Sam gasped into my mouth. My warmth took all of him in, give into him, forming around his curve. I let out a loud moan as I settled all the way on to him. We sat there for a moment, getting use to the feeling.

Then, I released his hand, whose fingers had once occupied me and with my now free hand on his chest, I began to move, slowly at first, in circles, thrusting forward and back, moving from side to side, moving in a circle. Sam took over from there, he flipped us again, he slid his arms underneath my back and pulled me toward him. He was completely buried inside me. He sat there looking down at me. He began to move in and out of me, slowly at first. He would pull almost the whole way out and then slam back into me, all the way to the hilt. The paced picked up as he came closer to cumming.

I felt my eyes being to turn colours again. A sly smile spread across his lips and he slowed down to the speed of a snail, pulling out quickly and pushing back in with agonizing tilt, rubbing roughly across that perfect spot. I arched against him, allowing him to get deeper, if that was even possible. My breath caught in my throat as my muscles drew his orgasm out of him, Sam arched into me, throwing his head back. I felt my whole body tingle with the release and a release of my own. I felt Sam empty himself inside me. He collapsed on top of me, shifting hie weight to make sure I could breathe. Sam leaned up after he had caught his breath and leaned in to kiss me.

"So, how about that breakfast?" He said, searching for his boxers. I grabbed my shirt and shorts. We sat across from each other at the table and ate our eggs. We had to nuke them first, since they had grown cold during our… activity. We were finished eating when an image danced through my head that was not mine. Sam was shoving everything off the table and taking me there. My eyebrow shot up and I just smiled at Sam. Well, to spare you the rest of the steamy details, which I am sure many of you can imagine, I will say that we found out the best and worst places in the house to have sex. And I lost track of all the different places, so it would be useless to try to name them, but we ended up back in my room where we passed out from utter exhaustion, wrapped in each other's arms.

Sleep came easy that night. Unfortunately, it was the last good night sleep we were going to get for a long time.


	15. Chapter XIV Revised 060607

**Chapter XIV**

I woke up the next morning feeling completely warm, head to toe, and pleasantly numb. I became aware of someone's naked form sleeping next to me. I froze.

Slowly the …. activities of yesterday washed over me. I smiled to myself a snuggled deeper into Sam's arms. A soft groan escaped his lips and his arms flexed around me. I dared to think that life was perfect. I had learned to let go and love again. There was nothing that I had foreseen that would disrupt our life, either. I snuggled as close to Sam as I could, the feeling of being held by him was heaven, and I never wanted it to end.

A few hours later, we were up and in the kitchen, making breakfast. Sam moved my hair, which had turned into a matted disaster, off my neck and began kissing it softly. I just smiled while I finished making the Buttermilk pancakes. Sam and I ate at the cleaned table, playing footsie the whole time. After breakfast and cleaning the dishes, Sam had the brilliant idea of going out to the hot tub. Of course, swim suites were not part of the plan.

Sam and I sat in the hot tub for about two hours before the blood **really** started to go to my head, which is dangerous for a psychic. I stepped out, grabbing one of the towels and wrapped myself up in it. Sam just smiled and leaned his head back against to headrest. I walked into the house and started a fire. The house was kind of cold and I did not have a furnace. Some technology had a bad habit of malfunctioning around me. I just was not willing to risk it. It was late September, early October and winter temperatures had come a little early.

Once the fire was roaring, I headed back into my room to take a shower. My hair needed to be washed as did the rest of my body. My shower was the same length as usual, I shaved my legs, washed my face and body, shampooed and conditioned my hair, brushed my teeth, and was out with in 30 minuets. I walked back into my closet and grabbed some comfortable clothes. I walked out to find Sam asleep in the hot tub. Yeah, yesterday had been quite …. Um …. trying. I walked outside and played with his hair until he woke up. I offered him a shower and a place in my bed. Sam just smiled and kissed me. He got out of the hot tub and headed in for a shower.

After that day, our first time together, it became an almost daily activity. Sam moved into my room and Dean never asked any questions. We had tried to get out of him where he had been for two days, but all he said was 'out'. He had gotten very good at shielding his thoughts from me, with training. Dean would just smile that goofy ass 'At-a-boy' smile every time Sam and I would walk out of our room. There were days I just wanted to punch that smart-ass grin right off his face.

So the day that he didn't have the smile on his face I knew that something had gone **terribly** wrong.

Dean was on the phone when Sam and I walked out of our room. He was sitting at the dinning room table. Dean held his cell phone to his ear with one hand, the other elbow was braced on the table and his face was in his hand.

"Okay Ellen, Thanks for the heads up….. Yeah, we'll be gone by tonight. Alright…. you and Jo take care as well….Bye." Dean closed his phone and let it fall to the table.

"Hey Dean, what going on?" Sam asked. Dean sighed and started rubbing his hand together.

"That was Ellen." Sam and I sat down at the table. I had a feeling that this news was going to knock me on my ass and I would rather already be on it.

"A pair of government agents invaded The Road House, demanding information on all the hunters that had been through her bar. She played dumb but they found her files." Dean paused, putting the index finger and thumb of his right hand on the bridge of his nose, pinching it.

"Now they have our names and are heading this way as we speak." I felt my stomach hit rock bottom. What the hell could the government want with hunters? Scratch that, how do they know about hunters? I looked over at Sam, his jaw was hanging open.

"Sam, babe, close your mouth." I whispered, putting my hand on his knee. I heard the click of his teeth hitting each other as he snapped his mouth shut.

"Why are they rounding up hunters?" I asked, turning my attention back to Dean.

"Something happened. An epidemic of sorts." He began to explain. "The dead are coming back to life." I nodded. I hated the word that was about to come out of my mouth.

"Zombies?" Sam and I asked at the same time.

"The worst kind." He confirmed. So now the government was rounding up the only people who knew how to handle the things that go bump in the night. We were on the move that night. That was October 09, 2009.

I am going to take a few moments to explain what Dean meant by 'the worst kind', you see there are three different kinds of Zombies, regardless of the George Romero films.

First there are the Reanimated – the dead that was brought back in the image of who they were before they died. They can talk, think, feel, eat, and sleep just like a normal living human. But they have wicked tempers. They just can't die like a living person. The only way to kill a Reanimate is to nail them back into their deathbeds.

Second are the Servants – the dead who were brought back for the sole purpose of serving their Resurrector. But they have a nasty habit of biting the hand that feeds them.

Finally there is the worst kind. How this kind is brought back is still unknown, but they come back with super human strength, speed and reflexes. But what makes them the worst is their drive. They are driven by the most powerful and primal need. The need to **feed**.


	16. Chapter XV Revised 060807

**Chapter XV**

Being on the move was easy. After all, we had all been taught by the best. It was what we found that was creepy.

We found out that a virus had broken loose on September 09, 2009. One month to the day before Ellen called us with a heads up. All the major cities, small towns, everything had been evacuated. Everything was empty of living human life. The only humans that remained in the cities were the Law Enforcement. We heard over the radio that Safe Zones where being set up and for any survivors to head to the closet Law Enforcement Agency for information and safe passage. The radio also said that after November 9th, not even Law Enforcement Agents would be outside the safe zones.

There were Zombies every where, searching for food. They didn't like anything but raw meat. They would eat anything, but they preferred the taste of human flesh. Not many things could kill a Zombie like this. Disrupting the distribution of neural patterns and electrical impulses was the only way that seemed to work. Basically that means disconnecting the connecting between brain and spinal cord. A bullet to the brain or breaking of the neck or severing the head would do the trick. Anything else would just piss them off.

The towns and cities were mere shadows of what they use to be. Old newspapers, plastic bags, and tumble weed were the only companions we had on several occasions. Everytime we needed to fill up on gas, we would restock our arsenal. Raiding local gun shops or hunting stores. We would clean them out, we took everything that even looked like it would be useful. We would pack the trunk and back seat of the Impala and the whole back half of my Jeep. We were ready for a war, whenever the war found us. Every two weeks or so, we would stop in a city, stay in the top floor of a high rise hotel and just catch up on sleep.

The government was hunting us with furious passion. We had hoped that after they didn't find us in Oregon, they would have given up. No such luck, We were not sure how the tactical force that had been formed to bring us in picked up on our trail, but they were following it like a pack of blood hounds. Once the government started to get close to closing in on us we would be out before their SWAT team busted in the door of the room where we had once been.

We found out from the few remaining free hunters that the government was rounding hunters up to be part of, if not lead, special Task Forces. Made only for killing Zombies and protecting the general population, well, what was left of it. The government had heard about the free lance hunters forming groups and decided to borrow the idea. The government had also heard that the three of us where the best of the best. Great. Being psychic helped us stay one jump ahead of the Agent in charge of bring us in. It had become a game of cat and mouse, a deadly game.

I started doing some of my own research on what had happened. Since almost everything had been shut down, hacking into the government files was not a problem. We had stopped in Las Vegas, Nevada and by that time I had a pretty good idea of what had really happened. The three of us sat around the table eating, actually I was just playing with my food. What I had found was beyond disgusting and far worse than any scenario I had come up with. I, needless to say, lost my desire to eat.

"So I think I finally have the whole picture." I paused, choosing my word carefully. This was a situation where I needed to over analyze each word before I spoke.

"I think I have put all the pieces together." I said a little louder, getting Sam and Dean attention, both of which had been lost in their own thoughts. They seemed as interested in eating as I did. Something about this whole thing never sat right with any of us. Damn these innate psychic abilities. They can get a girl or guy into trouble.

"So in 2008, early in the year, the government opened a secret project. Project XY. The project was devoted to creating the ultimate solider. Enhanced speed, strength, senses, and accelerated tissue regeneration. It took over a year before they started testing it on soldiers of the US Military. It was going well, so far. No side effects had been found. But in late August, something started happening to the soldiers." I paused, pushing the food around my plate. "The virus had begun to mutate. It was doing something the human DNA strand itself, changing it. The soldiers became abnormally aggressive and violent, turning on one another and then eventually on the staff of the compound. They weren't killing the staff, they were biting them, they were eating them." Dean shook his head and pushed his plate to the center of the table.

"In September, they broke out of the compound. Low and behold, the government didn't know what was happening exactly. All they knew was if you were so much as scratched by one of these things, within that day you would be one of them. The government didn't know what to do or how to stop the spread of the infection. It soon turned into an epidemic. So the government implemented something known as the Round-up, it started exactly one month after the virus escaped." Dean interrupted me.

"The day Ellen called." I nodded, confirming his out burst.

"That's right, October 9th." I stated. "The virus had begun moving at an accelerated rate. The government has been rounding up our kind to stop the spread of this thing." We sat around the table in silence. Suddenly I became aware of multiple presenses, humans. I sat bolt up in my chair, Sam and Dean soon sensed them too. Fuck, the SWAT team.

"Scatter!!" I whispered, climbing up into the rafters. Dean and Sam followed without question. The three of us were perched in the shadows above all the commotion. I watched as the door was busted in and 13 SWAT guys entered the room, guns raised. The flashlight beams were bouncing off the mirrors and casting light over Sam and Dean's faces, giving them an eerie look. I felt my eyes beginning to turn yellow. That was not a good sign. They only did that if we were in danger or I was using my powers. I watched a man dressed in a stereotypical black suite enter the room.

"Their not here, sir." Said the SWAT team leader.

"They here. I have Agent's with their cars. They can't go anywhere." I could feel Dean's anger rising at the thought of someone touching his baby. I prayed he was not going to do something stupid. My prayer went unanswered. Dean waited until three of the SWAT members were underneath him and he jumped down on them. Followed shortly by Sam.

"Damn it, Dean!" I swore, jumping down to lend a hand. The three of us took out 8 of the 13 before we found ourselves on the wrong end of a couple of M-16. We all froze, hands not moving above our shoulders. Not good. Really not good.


	17. Chapter XVI Revised 060807

**Chapter XVI**

"I knew I could entice you with the threat of harm to your car, Mr. Winchester." The Agent said, stepping through the shadows with a smug smile on his face. Dean mentally kicked himself for falling for it.

"Smile all you want, you smug bastard. But your SWAT team will still be hurtin' in the morning, if they aren't already." Dean said. I felt myself smile. The two SWAT members were shaking, I guess my eyes were making them nervous. I felt my smile grow feral in nature, bearing my teeth.

"Miss. Dawnivan, I would advise against any rash movement. After all you wouldn't want Sam here to get hurt, would you?" I turned my glare onto the Agent, feeling a swelling need to snap his neck. I forced myself to calm down and I convinced myself that this SWAT team was no true danger to me. My eyes slowly faded back to their natural honey colour, the flecks of gold reflecting in the flash lights, anger still burning behind them.

"That is much better. Now I would advise all of you to cooperate. We will be driving to the closet airstrip, where a plane will be waiting to load your vehicles and take us you Boulder, Colorado. Are we going to play nice?" He asked, his condescending attitude was really starting to get on my nerves. We were escorted out by gunpoint. Dean got into his baby, while Sam and I got into my jeep. We were then escorted by caravan to the airstrip. Our cars were quickly loaded and we were taken up into the main part of the airplane, also by gunpoint.

"You know, I am getting really tired of them pointing those things at us." Dean grumbled, making sure his hand were visible at all times. Dean didn't want Sam to come to any harm any more than I did. He knew that if we began to fight again, they would shoot Sammy. That was something neither one of us could allow.

The main part of the airplane was very plush, velvet covered chairs and couches, a mini-bar, and an arsenal of fun toys. They even had flame-throwers and harpoon guns. Within the next 30 minutes we were in the air.

"Leave it to the politics to sit in cushy seat while the rest of us fight to survive." Dean spat as the SWAT members were chaining us to our seat, as a precaution, I am sure.

"You seemed to be doing just fine, Mr. Winchester." The Agent said sipping on a glass of wine. Dean growled. The seat may be soft but the chains were heavy, cold and in the most inconvenient of places.

"Miss. Dawnivan, that was a display of great power. I am curious to know what else you are capable of." I rolled my head and closed my eyes, once they opened they were again yellow and the Agents wineglass exploded in his hand.

"That was not very nice." He said calmly, wiping himself off. I growled at him.

"I don't like having to clean up some else's mess." I said, cocking my head to the side. I could feel the chains loosening. The Agent's face-hardened.

"That's right, I know all about the government's Project XY, all about how they could not contain the spread." _That right, get angry Agent, I can feed off your anger._ I felt another feral smile spreading across my lips. I could see the anger welling up inside the Agent, heating him up from the inside out. If I could get him angry enough, I could make his body burst into flames. It was a talent I had discovered during the …. dark part of my hunting.

"I know about everything the government has been doing and given enough time, everything about you. I am sure there is an interesting back story to your life." I said, he was getting angrier and I could see his face starting to turn red. When the SWAT team was distracted by him burning I could take them out.

"Jay," Sam's voice broke my concentration. I turned my eyes on him. He looked so sad and just shook his head at me. Save me, my anchor.

_But Sam, I could take him and them! I can't just sit here and let him do this to us! This is not our mess! We shouldn't be the ones to clean it up!!_ I thought. I didn't understand where he was coming from.

_It is our job to protect people from the evil things that they can't even imagine existed, remember. The government was wrong is playing with fire and they have no doubt paid for it, but the rest of the innocent people do not deserve to be punished for their mistakes._ Sam replied. I felt my face softening, my smile fading, as well as my holding on the Agent. Sam's gentle reminder had been a preverbal slap in the face. He was right and I knew it. We had all taken the silent vow to protect the innocent people.

"I trust you are talking some sense into her, Mr. Winchester." The Agent said, only vaguely aware of what had happened.

"I'm not doing it for you." Sam shot back. The Agent nodded and headed to the front of the plane.

"Check her bonds," he ordered. The SWAT members came back over and shoved a gun barrel in my face to insure I would behave myself. They tightened the restraints back to what they were suppose to be. Not that I had the suicidal urge to launch myself out of a moving plane, I just wanted to kick someone's ass. I felt defeated, though my shoulders refused to show the defeat. I knew that Sam was right. It was our self-proclaimed job to protect people from the evil that hides in the shadows. This time, evil had come out to play and was not playing nice. Sam was my voice of reason, ever since the day we meet. He kept me safe and most important, he kept my sane. The rest of the plane ride was silent. The weight on my shoulders getting heavier the closer we got to our destination.


	18. Chapter XVII Revised 060807

**Chapter XVII**

Once we arrived, we were escorted into a briefing of some kind. The college room was filled with soldiers, who were all armed and also talking amongst themselves. Most were too busy talking to each other to notice us. That was until the SWAT team lead us to the front of the room where the first row of seats remained unoccupied.

The three of us we sat in the front dead center, with the SWAT team surrounding us on either side. After we gave our words that we would play nice, we weren't chained down. The soldiers were eyeing us with curiosity now, it was an odd feeling. Hearing all their thoughts, feeling their probing eyes. It made me shiver. I was not going to enjoy this. I sunk lower in my seat in hopes to avoid further probing.

Suddenly the door slammed opened and a four star general stalked in, followed by, what I assumed to be a doctor. He was, after all, in a lab coat. The slamming door had silenced all thoughts, for which I was grateful but the probing stares still remained.

"I see we have a few new faces." The general barked. "You must be the Winchester's." he said, nodding. Before I could say, 'My name is Dawnivan', the Agent answered for us.

"These are them," he said.

"You gave us quite the run around! I am slightly impressed." He stated, eyeing us. His head was, not surprisingly, blank.

"I see." He said, sensing our earlier defiance. "Lets get a few things straight."

_Oh great._ I thought.

"You are in my house now. You will live by my rules. You will be up at 0430 with the rest of the troops. You will do two hours of PT with the rest of the troops. You are a solider now and you will be part of the team." The general began to pace back and forth in the front of the room, this time eyeing all of the soldiers.

"If you get some much as a scratch from one of these fuckers, you will be shot on sight. It is our job to maintain a safe compound for the civilians. Am I understood?" This elected a uniform 'YES, SIR!' out of everyone but the three of us.

"I can't hear you soldiers!" He started to get in our faces, and I wanted to tell him he needed a mint. I could feel Dean's anger beginning to raise, along with my own. Sam, who had been seated in between us, grabbed our hands. The general raised an eyebrow,

"I will deal with you later," he said.

"Looking forward to it, sir." I growled, I was going to be in serious trouble for that one and I knew it. But I just couldn't help but poke the annoyed bear with a stick.

"But as far as who will be handling who is still up for debate." Oh, the surprise in his eyes was delighting. I felt Sam sigh beside me. The scientist stepped in.

"If I may, I need to speek with the troops about the new information." The general backed down. His steely blue eyes locked on my honey brown ones. I was tempted to make my eyes change but I didn't want to cause more trouble that I already had. Not to mention the over-whelming scientific need to explain people like me, I didn't want to become a science experiment.

_Jay, that was unnecessary._ Sam sent.

_I know, but it was funny._ I said. The scientist began his lecture.

"As you are all aware, we have been searching for an anti-virus. It would stop the spread of the original virus, possibly even kill it all together. The people who were infected would die and stay dead. The problem is, the virus mutates every time a new person is infected. So it is hard to lock down a specific strand of the viral DNA. In order for the anti-virus to work at maximum efficiently, we need an original transmitter. Something we have come to call Point Zero." He paused, making sure he had the full attention of the entire room. The mention of a ending to this mess had mine for sure.

"We must find the Point Zero and stop the spread of the virus before it takes over the entire continent. We are still working on a identification method, but once it is available we will issue it to all of you." I knew I was going to regret opening my mouth, but if a bunch of egg heads had not figured it out by now, it would/could be too late.

"I have an idea." I said and suddenly all eyes in the room where on me, wonderful.

"Since you are searching for one of the original transmitters, their bodies would have been dead longer right?" The scientist nodded in confirmation.

"Well then it should stand that their heat signature would be dimmer if not a solid blue colour when compared to the others." The scientist smiled. _Damn it mouth!! Stop flapping!!_ My motor mouth didn't listen.

"All that would need to be done is to input the heat signature technology into a pair of safety glasses that would be worn through the duration of a sweep by all squad members." He nodded, as did many of the people in the room. It did make a kind of funny logical sense.

"We could really use someone like you on our team." He said. I shook my head.

"Thanks, but no. I am not a lab rat." I stated. Shortly after the soldiers were dismissed, except for a squad of 12. They were to remain and make sure that the three of us played nice. The original SWAT team left and went to their respective rooms. I could sense relief from all of them and a sort of admiration toward the three of us.

We were assigned rooms. Dean got his own while Sam and I got one to share just down the hall from Dean's, the Agent said it was the best he could do. I watched intently as the general and the scientist talked, both nodding and pointing in my direction. This was going to get ugly. Sam could sense it to. He cautioned me to control my anger and to stay calm. Something I was not sure I was going to be able to do. I watched the two shake hands and the general headed toward me. Great. Here we go.

"Solider!!" He shouted. The 12 people around us snapped into attention. Dean, Sam and I lazily stood up. None of us were to keen on playing nice anymore. The general walked right up to me.

"Due to your behavior, you will be working in the lab until Project Ident is complete." He said. I lost it.

"LIKE HELL I WILL!!" I shouted.

"I WAS HUNTED DOWN A BROUGHT IN BY GUN POINT TO CLEAN UP YOUR FUCKING MESS!! I WILL DO AS I PLEASE!" I spat. I felt one of the soldier's grab my arm. Out of reflex, I dropped him and broke his arm in three places. The fight broke out. Before I could take a swing at the general I found myself wrestling with five soldiers. They were attempting to subdue me, four of them each had a limb that they were pinning to the ground and one that had straddled my torso to pin it to the ground. Were I your average female soldier, that would have worked. But as we all know, I am no where near average.

I felt my eyes change as my energy built up. I released it with such force that everyone in the room was thrown against a wall or thrown into chairs. I made a mental note to apologize to Sam and Dean later. I jumped up ready to fight and was confronted with a sight that made my heart stop. Sam and Dean were on the wrong end of at least 6 M-16's. The soldiers had reacted faster than I had anticipated.

"You will only have time to save one of them, Miss. Dawnivan." The Agent said. My eyes narrowed on him. I pointed at him, making sure that he knew he had been marked.

"That is the last time you will threaten them to subdue me, mark my words. You do it again, I will kill you. That I promise." I said. I released my feline like posture. I stood arms crossed and feet slightly apart. I watched as the Sam and Dean were let up and the M-16's were put down. I allowed myself to be lead to my temporary room, where I would stay until Project Ident was complete.

I was defiant to the end. I refused to work with the scientists. I would get up and work out with the troops every morning and then I would sit in the lab, doing nothing. After a month they threw me in the shoe or solitary confinement, which for those who don't know what that is, it is an 8 by 10 cell with a flushing toilet and sink and a cot harder than the floor. Still I wouldn't play nice. Then they took away my visits with Sam and Dean, telling me the only way I was going to see freedom was to finish my job. So I did my job.


	19. Chapter XVIII Revised 060807

**Chapter XVIII**

It was June 13, 2010 before I was able to see Sam again, the Winchester boys were my weakness, the government knew it and use it to keep me under control.

The work had been harder than I had thought plus still having to get up with the troops at 0430. But as promised, after Project Ident was complete I was released and placed into active duty.

I had been the only female on the Force when I arrived, but now I was hearing rumors about one more female being recruited. I was walked to my room by one of the guards that I had become friends with. He had gotten me a tennis ball for entertainment while I was locked in the shoe before lights out at 1030hrs.

I opened the door to our room and found Sam and Dean sitting on the bed, gabbing about this new female. It took Sam a moment to register that it was me. I had become a brick house, 137 lbs. of pure, lean muscle and 5 foot 5 inches tall, which was a full inch taller than I had been. Sam had almost doubled in size since our last visit, as had Dean. I hated to admit it, but the military presence in this job was doing us some good.

Sam rushed me, pinning me to one of the walls with kisses. He kissed my lips, my cheeks, my nose, my forehead, and my neck. I just laughed, wrapped my arms around him.

"I am glad to see you too!!" I pulled him in for a deep kiss. God I had been aching to do that for quite a while. Dean walked up and took me into a big brother type hug. I took the embrace, it was very rare that Dean give hugs. I took it as a big compliment. Dean slapped my back and went back to his seat. He and Sam went back to talking about this new female that they had meet a little over a month ago. If I could judge by the way Dean was gushing about her, he was interested, very, very interested. I laid down beside Sam, on my stomach, my head resting on his leg. Sam began to draw designs on my back, sending me into an uneasy sleep. That sleep quickly turned into a terrifying vision.

I opened my eyes to find a world of darkness. I was standing among the rubble of the very compound that I had just fallen asleep in. There were masses of Zombies wondering around the burning debris. From what I could see and sense there was no more living flesh to feed on. I spotted slight movement high in the trees, like someone shifting from one leg to the other. I looked up and found myself. Dressed in my normal black gear, vest and all. But this time there was a sword strapped to my back. I looked different to myself, I looked angry and sad. My eyes got suck on the scar that ran from my left temple to the edge of my jaw, and the scar that went through my lips from the right to the left at a slant.

_What the hell happened to me? _I wondered. Suddenly I realized that Sam was not by my futures side. I panicked. My eyes began to frantically search the masses of Zombies for Sam's face. I could not live with myself if Sam had been turned into one of those things, and I knew I would not have the heart to kill him. I felt the panic rising until I spotted him, up in the tree opposite my future self. Sam looked different too, distant and angry. He was three times bigger, muscles wise, than he was back in my time. His head was shaved and he had a scar running down the side of his face. One of his eyes was cloudy and had a scar ran through his eyebrow, through his eye and just below his eye. I winced as he turned to me, like he saw me. Our eyes made contact and he nodded. Some how knowing where I was from.

_We weren't able to stop the spread of the Virus. The Anti-Virus was tampered with. Someone in the lab had been using us to create a stronger virus that would re-infect the world. We could not stop the spread. The mole in the lab was just that, a mole. He was working for someone else. We never figured out who it was. But we found the mole. Donald South. He is a biochemical engineer. _I heard Sam's rough voice in my head. I could not look way from him.

_You are here to prevent this future from happening._ His eyes sweep out over the mass of Zombies. A sudden screech tore my eyes away from Sam and toward the mass. The Zombies had begun to turn on each other. My stomach turned over as I watched them seek out their weakest and begin devouring them, tearing them limb from limb.

_Save the present to preserve the future._

I sat bolt up in bed, covered in a cold sweat. The room was dark and I could not sense Sam or Dean. I panicked. Was I too late? Had I slept through the event I am suppose to stop? I got up and ran for the door opened it and ran out before looking. I ran straight into Sam's chest. I toppled backward and he reach out and caught me before I hit the ground. He looked down at me, seeing what he described as wild fear and primal panic, in my eyes.

"Jay, baby? What happened?" His voice was calming, nothing like the future Sam's voice which still echoed in my head _Save the Present, Preserve the Future._ I couldn't get those words out on my head. I had squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the change.

"Jay?" Sam's voice had a slight panic in it. I opened my eyes to him. My eyes were apparently yellow.

"What did you see?" he asked, running his free hand through my hair.

"There is a mole in the Lab." Was all I could get out at the time. Sam's eyes grew wide. He knew what that meant. Someone was creating a bigger, badder virus.

"Who is it?" He asked, hitting the panic button on his pager. My nose was starting to bleed, I was getting ready to black out.

"JAY!" Sam shouted shaking me. I heard the door being busted open.

"Donald South, bio chemical engineer." I was able to get the name out before darkness took me. I felt the hands of paramedics strapping me into a backboard. I felt like I was flying down the hall. I couldn't feel anything except the pain invading my head. That vision had kicked my ass and won. I felt a pinch on my arm and liquid fire invaded my blood. I arched up off the board. I fought a loosing battle with the painkiller that was being pumped into my system. It reached my heart and with a sudden white flash and an excruciatingly pain burst I was out cold, surrounded only in darkness.


	20. Chapter XIX Revised 060807

**Chapter XIX**

The next sound I heard was the sound of a steady beeping. A beeping that was parallel to my own heart rate. I slowly opened my eyes and found myself in our Medical Unit. My head was killing me and I was really dizzy.

_The vision and the drugs._ I concluded. I started to asses my surroundings, a habit. Suddenly a doctor walked in. He was dressed in the usual doctor gear, blue scrubs covered by a white lab coat. He had salt and pepper brown hair and a well-trimmed beard. He kind of reminded my of John. His nametag gleamed, begging me to read it.

_Dr. Strange_. That name did not comfort me in the least.

"Good morning Jaylynn." He said without looking up.

_Psychic. _I concluded. He just smiled without looking up from his clip board that no doubt held my medical chart.

"It seems that more of us psychics survived than not." He said. I raised an eyebrow and it sent pain shooting through my head. I cried out.

"The vision you had cause a minor Cerebral Seizure. You will be out of commission for a week, maximum." He said.

_He must know about my…_

"You're advanced, accelerate tissue regeneration. Yes, I know."

_Okay so Dean was right, having someone read your thoughts is just weird_. I concluded. The doctor let out a deep laugh.

"Sam! Dean! You can come in now." The doctor called while still scribbling notes in my file. Sam came in with a bouquet of Sterling Roses. I smiled, causing more pain. Sam put the roses in a vase beside my bed. The smell of roses was my favorite and the roses themselves where my favorite. I wondered where he had been able to find them.

"Hey kiddo." John's words jumped right out of Dean's mouth, causing my heart to skip a beat.

"How ya doin'?" His worry was genuine.

"I am okay." I said. "Did you get the guy?" I asked them. Sam looked back at Dean and then back at me.

"He ran. He left everything he had and what he had been working on behind. We have a recovery team out searching for him right now. We don't think he got the new virus out, but he got away." I nodded.

"At least he didn't blow up the compound." I said. Dean's eyes went wide.

"Yes Dean, he had planned to load the fuel tanks with this virus and blow up the compound." Dean just shook his head.

"The explosion would have made the virus into an airborne pathogen, no one would have been able to escape it." _Except us._ I thought, remembering myself and Sam with our scars. The scars had been both physical and psychological.

"Doc says that you should stay here for week." Sam said. I shook my head.

"I want to sleep in our bed. I have been sleeping on the shoe for two months. I want to sleep in a bed where I know I belong." Sam nodded. He didn't want me staying in the Medical Unit either. He missed me.

"I will talk with the doctor. I am sure he will let me take you home." I smiled as Sam walked out of the room in search for Dr. Strange. Dean looked at me, there was something different about him. There was a glimmer in his eyes. I smiled.

"What's her name?" I asked. Dean's eye went wide.

"No I am not reading you thoughts. I am reading your eyes." Dean blushed.

"Charlie." Was all he said. I nodded to the best of my ability. Sam re-entered the room with a wheel chair. I nearly jumped out of the bed myself.

"Doc says that he will come by twice a day to change out your IV bags and to check on you. He says that he understands that you hate hospitals and Medical Wings. As long as there is no …. strenuous activities, you should be good as new in a week." I felt my cheeks colour at the thought of the good doctor reading Sam's thoughts. We had not made love in three months and I was starting to get the itch. But I figured that the doc knew best.

Sam and Dean helped me into the wheel chair. Sam pushed it as I held on to the rolling IV stand. When we got to the room, Sam wheeled me right next to the bed, Dean pulled back the covers and Sam laid me down. Dean winked at both of us, which said to me 'I am going to go see my girl,' and left the room. I just smiled, again to the best of my ability. Sam kissed me on the forehead and covered me up.

Now I am not on to be babied but having Sam take care of me was something else. And sure enough, no strenuous activities and I was good as new in a week. I was back to the military schedule, which had changed, up a 0430, two hours of PT, breakfast, and shift one starting at 0700 hrs ending at 1900 hrs. The general had divided the Force into two groups. Shift one, 1900hrs to 0400 hrs, mine and Sam's shift, and Shift two, 0700hrs to 1900hrs, Dean and his new girl Charlie. Who I still had not met.

It was first night back on shift and I could feel it was going to be a hell of a night. They were bringing South back in. They had found him, curled up under a large rock .He was under 24 hour watch and in a shoe cell. The general wanted me to question him. Why? I am sure you are wondering. Because the general had recently become aware of a talent I had. I can hear the truth, even when someone is spouting lies. I would hear it or see it. It was a blessing and a curse. It had destroyed many friendships and relationships, but I had saved hundreds of lives before when I worked for the FBI as Jaylin McDermount.

I waited out side the interrogation room. South was sitting in there sweating like a pig that knows it is going to be feed to a panther. I was in a pair of black BDU's that had been bloused, exposing part of my shin high combat boots. I was in a black, skin tight long sleeve shirt, my Desert Eagles in the shoulder holsters and an 18-inch machete with a hand guard strapped to my left thigh at a slight angle, making it easier to draw.

I had an odd feeling that South had injected himself with the virus. I warned the general and his only reply was 'Guess we better hurry if we want information.' I just shook my head. I finally got the go ahead from the general and went into the room. When South saw me walk into the room, he cried out. I smirked, slapping the file down on the table. I spun the chair around and straddled it.

_Oh God! Oh God!_ He thought. I watched as South put his hands in the prayer position.

"What are you praying for, South? I am pretty sure the Big Man does not like people who try to kill his works of art." I said, South just kept looking down. I tilted my head a little bit.

"Don't worry, I ain't gonna kill you." I said, he relaxed a little bit. I reached out with lighting speed and grabbed on of his hands and brought it toward me, so that his arm was out stretched across the table.

"I am going to torture you until you give me the information I want." I said, squeezing his wrist.

"You can't touch me, what if I am infected?" he asked, shaking. I made a tsking sound at him.

"Oh, you mean with that nifty new virus of yours?" I asked, I stood up and slammed my fist down right next to his arm. He screamed. I have good aim, my knuckle barely grazed the side of his arm.

"You messed up on that one, sugar. You left a perfect strand of the viral DNA in you lab when you ran. So the other scientists worked up a cure for it real quick. The whole compound has been given the shot. And it had been sent to the other compounds, as well as Head Quarters. Your virus can do **shit** to me." I said getting right in his face.

"Now." I let his wrist go. "I don't take pleasure in what I do, but I do take pride in it." I said standing by the window, praying that Sam was not watching. If this guy refused my offer, things were going to get messy.

"You have two options. Option A – you give me what I need to know and I wouldn't harm you." I paused for the dramatic effect. "Or Option B – I **make **you tell me what I need to know." I turned to him with yellow eyes and a feral grin.

"I would suggest that you take Option A." He was shaking real bad now. I think he even pissed himself, but he refused to answer me. I took out my restraints and zip-tied him to the seat he was in. I made sure to use three restraint, thick ones, just in case.

"One last chance Doctor. Who are you working for?" I wrapped my hand around one of his fingers. He started whimpering.

"I will give you to the count of five…..four….three…..two…..one." I pulled back on his finger, feeling it break. He cried out in pain and his eyes started watering.

"I can do this with all of your remaining digits before I move on the more painful things, Doctor. You have 206 bones that I can destroy one by one. If that doesn't work, well, then I will start removing certain parts of your anatomy. Just make it end," I broke another one of his fingers.

"Tell me what I need to know." He just kept shaking his head.

"Wrong Answer," I growled. I was slightly impressed with the little guy, I was all the way threw breaking his fingers and moving on to the other foot to break the last set of toes before he confessed. He spilled everything.

He didn't know the guy's name, but he did know that he was one of the original Scientists that had been working on Project XY. The release of the virus had not been a mistake. That little bit of information shocked me; I had suspected it but… South told me that this Scientist had put something in the viral DNA that would make the Zombies obedient to him, how I am not sure. But the Virus was mutating unexpectedly so the new generations of Zombies were not obeying the orders. This Scientist had created an anti-virus for himself so that he would not have been infected when he released the original virus. According to South, it had some unforeseen side effects. South said that every time he meets with the Scientist, he was fully clothed and wearing sunglasses. Not an inch of his skin was showing, he even wore gloves. South was unclear about how the Scientist had recruited him, but those were details that I didn't care for. South told me that the Scientist was never in the same place for long, he had half of the Points Zero's guarding him at any giving point. With over half the continental US at his disposal it was going to be hard to lock down a location on him. He gave me the last location where he was suppose to meet the Scientist with the new virus. But my vision had accelerated his plans and he had indeed injected himself with the virus.

He said that according to his theories, the virus would take weeks, if not months to mutate his genes and basic DNA strands to the point of becoming one of the Zombies. I nodded, turning around to leave the room.

"I will send the doctors in to fix you up." I said before closing the door. I was wiping my hands off with a cleansing cloth when I came face to face with Dean, who had been watching. His arms were crossed and he had this look on his face, as if he had seen a side of me that he never knew existed. Which if he had been watching, he had.

"Jay …" Dean started I held up my hand.

"I kept this side of my nature hidden from the two of you." I stated, headed up to get the doctors and to give the recording to the general.

"For a reason, Dean." He walked beside me in his urban camouflage bloused pants and his black skintight tee shirt, hands behind his back.

"One question?" He asked, I nodded.

"Where did you learn?" he asked. I sighed.

"It was part of my training with the Federal Government. We where trained in all of the …. less than legal interrogation tactics." I stated.

"Does Sam know?" He asked. I stopped and turned to him.

"I granted you one question, Dean." Dean looked at me.

"I never told Sam. I didn't want him to know about the ….. darker side." Dean nodded.

"I'll tell Sam." I said, Dean gave me his famous 'Really?' look.

"Eventually." I stated, unsure if I really would. Dean nodded and we headed to the general's office.


	21. Chapter XX Revised 060807

**Chapter XX**

The general sat behind his desk, hands folded as he listened. He nodded as the tap ended, he leaned forward and depressed the stop button.

"I want you, Sam, Dean, Charlie and a squad to leave first thing tomorrow." I nodded. I had gone from a pain in his ass to his favorite little soldier. I walked out of the room, just in time for mine and Sam's shift to start.

I walked back to our room to get my vest. I didn't see Dean anywhere, great. Hopefully he has not gone to Sam yet. The conversation that needed to transpire was going to be difficult. Sam knew that there were dark spots in my life, dark spots that he knew I didn't like talking about.

Before the Round Up, we had done a job in Las Vegas, Nevada and they had seen a part of me that neither one of them would ever forget. I knew that Dean would talk to Sam if I didn't. I sighed as I pushed through our door. I found Sam napping on the bed, one of my demonology books on his chest. I sighed again, but with a different thought behind it, removed the book and put it in the bookshelf. I sat down next to Sam and began rubbing his stomach. He stirred.

"Sammy?" I said, softly leaning down to his ear.

"Sammy, it is time for our shift to start." Sam stirred, making a moan that said 'Five more minuets!', I shook my head.

"Don't make me ….." Sam opened his eyes at the opened-ended threat. He stretched and wrapped me in a hug.

"I'm up, I'm up …" He said releasing me. He stood up and stripped down to his boxers. I grabbed my vest and pulled it on.

Being part of the ZSTF had changed it a little. Now, over the heart was a patch, a skull with the 'Dead Man's Hand' of poker cards, with either a red or black background. The black meant killer. After a certain amount of documented kills and person goes from a red back round to a black one. The members who had those them were considered elite, considering that the black background is hard to get. There were only a handful of us, myself, Sam and Dean included.

I had my back turned to Sam as I checked and rechecked my weapons, and loaded up on more weapons, throwing star and knives that attached to my belt. Tons of extra magazines and some restraints, just in case we ran into a Point Zero. I slipped on my glasses and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. I turned around to find Sam dressed in similar clothes. Black BDU's, bloused, mid-shin high laced up combat boots, a black underarmor long sleeve shirt and a vest with a black ZSFT patch over the heart. He was just looking at me. I frowned.

"What?" I asked. He came up to me and started rubbing my arms. He kissed me on the forehead.

"Something is wrong, I can feel it. What is going on, sweetheart?" Sam asked. I took his hands.

"We'll talk about it later, okay." I said and turned around walking out the door. He shrugged and followed me. I could feel the issues that had been bottled up beginning to swell as we rode out in the Task Force transport van. We were to go into the closet town, there had been rumors around the compound of survivors that had made their way into the town and were surrounded by Zombies. It was our job to save them.

I was itching to kill something. Dean's word echoed in my head, even the unspoken ones. Even he was unnerved by what he had seen me do. I couldn't even imagine what Sam would think. We had been officially together for over a year, my training and time spent in the Federal Government was the only thing in my history that Sam and I never talked about. He never asked, not after Las Vegas, and I never brought it up. We arrived and had to work right away, about half way through I could not hold it in any longer.

"Sam, we need to talk!" I yelled.

"What?!? Now?!?" He yelled back. "I'm a little busy!!!" He shouted beheading an on coming Zombie

"While I was a Federal Agent, I did some rather ….. less than legal things." I said while decapitating a Zombie that was heading for a young child.

"What exactly does that mean?!?" Sam yelled while snapping the neck of a Zombie feeding on someone's arm.

"I was trained in the art of torture and I can turn into a very dark person. The general knew that some how and asked my to interrogate Dr. South." I said while picking up a child and putting him in the truck.

"And ….?" He inquired while helping a family into the truck.

"Dean saw me do what I do best….. I never told you because I have my dark spots and I was afraid that you would have a problem with it." I said. Sam stopped and turned on me.

"Jay, I see you doing what you do best everyday, saving lives and comforting people in their times of need." He said.

"And most important…." He trailed off as we each shot a few Zombies, killing them.

"Loving me." I smiled, nodding. I had worried for no reason, well maybe not any reason, I had a ligament reason.

That shift was long and tedious. We had to call for additional resources to make sure all the civilians were transported back to the compound safely. Once our shift was over we had to find Dean and Charlie to raid the location of the meeting point between South and the Scientist.

Damn Dean! He was not in his room or in the feeding area. He was no where, not even in the weight training area. I had no idea where to look and briefing was in less than 20 minuets. Some how Sam knew right where to look. He took off down the hall and was at least 15 feet in front of me before I realized where he was headed. Charlie's room.


	22. Chapter XXI Revised 060807

**Chapter XXI**

The events that followed were nothing less than chaos. Sam burst into Charlie's room and I felt a flood of 'Oh Boy,' emotions. I stopped short; something had pulled the breath right out of me. I walked into the room and start talking to Dean, well, more yelling. Suddenly it turned into a competition for who could talk the loudest.

"Hey guys! You're in my room and I'm lying here in bed. I just woke up, then he came in, then he came in, then you came in, and I don't even really know you. You mind leaving for a minute so I can get dressed. Then y'all can feel free to come back in and continue arguing." Charlie spoke up, over all of our voices. I grabbed Dean's hand and dragged him out into the hall, while Sam stayed with Charlie.

"Dean!! What the hell are you thinking?!?" I shoved him against a wall. Dean looked at me with the innocent eyes.

"Don't give me that, 'I didn't do anything wrong' look! Damn it Dean! I'm a psychic! You can't lie to me and you should know that by now!! We can't afford for you to be thinking of anything else but the job right now!!" I stated forcefully, shoving him again. Dean's face changed suddenly.

"And you and Sam aren't thinking of anything but the job?" He shot back. I was taken back by his comment.

"No ….. No!" I stuttered.

"I think about the job while I am doing the job, Dean. That is were my focus is. But thanks to you, my mind was else where during my shift today!" I shoved him a third time.

"I told Sam." I stated, Dean's eyes went wide.

"I told him before you did, the thought of Sam finding out from you instead of me distracted me. And so help me God, Dean, you **ever** do that to me again, I will kill you myself." I pointed at him and walked away. I ignored the crude thoughts Dean had running through his head.

"SAM!" I yelled. "No time for introductions, we got to go! NOW!" I walked right past him and headed to the briefing room. I knew Sam wanted to talk to Charlie and Dean, but there just was no time. We had to complete the raid and the general had been kind enough to appoint me as team lead for this particular operation. Not exactly what I needed.

The general was well aware of my Federal background and I had the feeling he was grooming me for a position. A position I probably didn't want. Sam and I were a team, period. If he were not being promoted with me, I would not take the promotion at all. But Sam and I had not had that talk yet. We had not had time. The four of us walked into the briefing room, Sam, Dean, and Charlie sat down at one of the tables. Sam watched as I walked to the front of the room. I made sure that all the briefing folders were at each of the seats. I watched as the Squad walked in a sat down.

"Attention Soldiers!!" The general stepped up beside me. I stood at the parade rest stance.

"Through a nicely conducted interrogation, Sergeant Dawnivan has acquired some information that is less than comforting." The General nodded to me. It took me a moment to process the title that the General had just given me. The shock subsided quickly when I remember that the title was more tradition that anything else. When I was out in the field I was not different than any other member of the Task Force. I stepped forward and picked up my folder.

"As you will see, there is a folder in front of you. If you open it you will find the transcript to Dr. South's confession. The highlighted parts are the important statements. In the next section you will find satellite photos of the location where we will be heading. As you can see there is a lot of undead activity. This is going to be dangerous. I won't lie to any of you. If you are not at optimum function capacity, you will die. If you don't feel like you can do this, leave now." No one got up.

"You will find five power bars in front of you. Keep them in one of your side pockets. I want all of you to keep up your energy. This is going to be a long ride. Head to the armory and get your weapons. The armored transport will be out side docking station one. Dismissed." Everyone stood up and headed to the armory.

"Nicely done, Sergeant." The General said. I turned to him.

"Why the title?" I asked.

"You deserved it." He said simply.

"The only people of rank I have are Captains and Lieutenants," he stated. "I need someone out there that the soldiers look up too, someone they know will do anything and everything to make sure no man if left behind. I have been listening to the soldiers talking while they are on break. They talk about Dean and Sam, sure enough. But they talk more about you and what you have done for this compound." I stood there shocked. I did my job. That's all.

"I … I … I don't understand." I said.

"It was about time you were recognized for all you've done." He said no more than that. I walked out and Sam caught up with me.

"I guess you failed to mention that you were the leader on this operation or a Sergeant." Sam said touching my shoulder. I shrugged him off.

"Jay? What is going on?" I stopped and pulled him into one of the small doorways.

"Look, we can talk about this later, okay? Right now I can afford to be distracted. I need to be focused. I have to be focused. As for the promotion, I didn't know about it until he used the title." Sam made his 'That hurt' face. I felt my face soften, I reached out for his hand.

"Sammy, please don't look at me like that. I can't loose you." Sam squeezed my hand. He kissed my lips.

"We will talk about this later." He whispered and walked away. I felt my heart drop. I knew that tone of voice. That was the 'I am disappointed in you' tone that John use to take with me when I did something impulsive or something wrong. I took a deep breath and ran my hand through my hair. I looked up to find Dean looking at me. I shook my head and shoved him once again.

"This is on you, Dean. And make no mistake. We will talk about this."


	23. Chapter XXII Revised 060807

**Chapter XXII**

The ride was long and silent, save for the sound of rattling wrappers. Each solider was eating their power bars, as instructed. The tension in the truck was getting to everyone. Dean and Charlie were sitting in separate corners. Sam was just staring at the wall, slowly chewing on the last of his power bars. I looked over my sad squad. Telling them that we could be walking straight to our deaths was, in hindsight, not the best idea. Of course hindsight was always 20/20.

"Alright people, time to look alive. This whole fucked up world we live in could be over tonight!" I said, standing up to face everyone.

"Check and double check all of your weapons. I want everyone ready to do maximum damage!!" I could feel the morale boosting. The thought of taking their pent up aggression out on something that actually deserved it always made Task Force members feel better.

"I don't know about y'all but I am ready to take on a few Zombies! I am ready to do my job! Are you with me!?!?" I shouted, everyone but Sam jumped up. Screaming, just for the hell of screaming. Man did it feel good. Our driver stopped about a mile away from our target. A zombie could smell human flesh if it was within a half-mile radius. Before leaving the van we were each sprayed with the essence of Zombie. There was something in their glands that was secreted. A smell that a psychic could smell, but no one else that still had a pulse. The smell masked our scent. We could come right up on a pack of them and they were never smell us coming. Zombie eyesight was terrible, they depended on their other sense, smell most of all. If you didn't smell like one, you were eaten on the spot. God I **hated** this shit. It made me gag every time I was sprayed with it. Once my nose had adjusted to it, I was fine. But I had to have my gagging fit. Yuck. Maybe I should not have had that last Power Bar.

We finished suiting up and were on our way. The glasses that I had helped design also had night vision capabilities. Everyone powered up, checked their weapons, their spare mags and if worst came to worst and we ran out of bullets, there was always the wonderful world of hacking.

John had bought me the machete that was strapped to my thigh. It was one of the many things he had left behind. I looked over at Sam, whose face was hard and cold. The face that I normally saw while we were on the hunt. But this time I knew that he wore that face because of me.

_Damn it Jay! Focus!! You can loose him and I am sure he does not want to loose you! Not to mention, John would have my head. Even if he is dead._ I scolded myself for allowing Sam to creep into my brain at the worst times. I needed to focus, I didn't want any of my team going home in a pine box or worse, into a containment cell. I motioned for them to form up.

"Okay guys, from here on out we use hand signals only. These things can't and don't talk. There is no need to spring the surprise early. If things go to hell, get your ass back to the truck. I would rather hack off your head than send you back to the lab rats. And I sure as hell don't want to have to explain to your loved ones why I let you die. So remember, if things go south, get back to the truck and radio me. I will have my ear-piece in, just like the rest of you should. I want us all to stay together, as best we can. If you get separated and you're alone, get back to the truck." They all nodded.

"Yes, ma'am." We formed up and moved out. It was the typical V pattern, we had each put silencers on our weapons. As we moved into the camp, we took care of every Zombie we came across. The rock formation loomed in the darkness and my spidy senses were tingling. Something was not right. This was easy, way too easy. We moved up into the cave and that is were things got interesting.

The Scientist was not there, but a whole shit load of Zombies were. It was an ambush. An ugly one at that. We had gone from being the surprise, to being surprised. It turned into an all out fight for our lives. This asshole had set a trap for us and I had walked us right into it. We were half way back to the truck when we ran out of bullets. Now it was time to get dirty. I pulled out my machete and just started swinging.

"GO!! GET TO THE TRUCK!!" I yelled. We moved backward as a group. Our driver was caught off guard. He struggled to get the truck started and in gear. Everyone jumped in, everyone but me. Yep, that's right I was going to be the hero if necessary. I heard the truck pulling away. Good. All my people were safe. That was all I cared about. I felt strong arms wrap around my waist and yank me into the truck.

The driver floored it and we left the Zombies eating dust, well actually it was mud. I checked everyone for bites or scratches. None. Everyone was fine … ish. But no one had been bitten or scratched. I sat down roughly in one of the seats. Suddenly Sam rushed me, wrapping me tightly in his arms. He pulled back and looked over me. I was about to tell him I was fine when he took a knee. My heart skipped a beat. He could not be proposing, not after the fight we had. Wait, if he was, why had I not seen this coming. Damn he was getting good.

"Don't think for one minute that you will escape the talk we need to have. But I realized about 2 months ago that I could not live the rest of my life without you in it." He pulled out a small princess cut diamond on an elevated ring.

"Will you marry me?" He asked, holding me left hand. For a moment I saw a flash of Jacob smiling and nodded at me. I smiled, tears coming to my eyes. I nodded.

"Yes, yes! Of course I will!" Sam slid the ring on my finger and we kissed under a standing ovation from the team. I watched as Charlie elbowed Dean in the ribs saying 'I told you so!!' Dean rolled his eyes, saying something about how tired he is of being pushed around by the women in his life. I felt a blush creep over my cheeks as the team started cheering. We had just got our asses handed to us and they were hollering in joy.

We got back to the complex and were greeted by a less than happy general. He pulled me into his office before I had a chance to get clean. It took me stepping in front of the full-length mirror in the general's office to realize how gross I really was. And Zombie goo is a bitch to get out of the clothing.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED??" He shouted at me, pulling my mind back into reality.

"It was a trap, sir. We were lucky to get out with as many people as we went in with. The Scientist must have known we were going to come after him." I explained, standing in a parade rest position.

"Any Point Zero's?" He asked, sitting down behind his desk, rubbing his temples. I knew that he had not meant to yell at me, but he was under more stress than any of us.

"No sir." I said. I had learned to play by his rules as long as he was in command. The two months that I had spent in the lab and in solitary confinement had shown me it was better to play nice. He nodded and waved his hand toward the door.

"You're dismissed." He said. I sighed and headed for the door. I could feel the stiffness closing in.

"Oh and Jaylynn." He said. I stopped and turned around.

"Good job." I smiled slightly and headed toward my room. I was in desperate need of a shower. I turned the key and opened the door in one swift move. The next thing I saw was something I had not expected. There were candles on the nightstand, headboard, and my work desk. The smell of rose oil flooded my nostrils. I stood stunned in the doorway.

"Ummm ….. Sam?" I said. He peeked his head out from the bathroom.

"Hey honey," He left that sentence open ended. He walked out in a pair of sweat pants and no shirt. Took my left hand and drew me into the room, closing the door behind me with his other hand.

"Let me help you get out of those dirty clothes." Sam unzipped my vest and slid it off my shoulders, letting it drop to the floor.

"Is that so?" I asked with a sly smile. Sam wiped a smug of blood of my cheek and kissed me. And as for the rest of the night, well, I'll just say you know you have had a good night when you pass out from exhaustion after …. strenuous activities, not to mention feeling pleasantly numb. It seemed to be a very fitting way to celebrate an engagement.


	24. Chapter XXIII Revised 061307

**Chapter XXIII**

I heard the alarm go off about five times, felt Sam get up to turn it off four times. The fifth time there was a knocking on our door, heavy and repetitive. I groaned at the annoying sound that was pounding into my head. I groped for my robe, once I felt the silk in my hand I sat up and slid out of bed. I wrapped the Chinese robe around myself before opening the door. I was not expecting to see the person I saw. The general himself was standing at our door.

"Morning sir. Is there something wrong? Did we …. over sleep?" I asked, trying to wrap myself tighter in the silk robe.

"No, no Soldier. You have not done anything wrong." He said, looking over my shoulder at Sam who was coming out of the bathroom in his sweat pants.

"Quite the opposite, I am here to offer you and the other members of the raid last night the shift off." I felt my eyes grown wide. We have not had a shift off since our escorted arrival at the compound. I could not really form any words at the moment. Sam stepped up and put his hand on my hip.

"We would love the shift off sir. Thank you very much." The general nodded and walked off. Sam wrapped his arms around me and picked me up. I kicked the door closed when I felt a few soldiers getting ready to walk by.

"My oh my, what ever shall we do?" Sam whispered in my ear. He put me down and turned me so I was facing him.

"I was thinking that we needed some laundry done." I said, nearly falling to the floor laughing when I saw the look in Sam's eye. Needless to say I jumped up into his arms, making sure he **knew** that I understood what he really meant.

It was about 6 hours before I actually had the chance to do the laundry that really needed to be done. I ran into Dean and Charlie heading out, to where I am not sure. I made eye contact long enough to send Dean a message.

_Come and get Sam and me when you and Charlie are ready to talk._ Dean nodded, not even breaking stride. I made a note that Dean and Charlie were holding hands. I had to wash our Task Force uniforms three times in order to get all the Zombie goo out of them. I was walking back to our room when I watched Dean and Charlie stop at her door. Dean looked at me and nodded. I knew that it was time for that talk. I walked into our room and found Sam in the bathroom brushing his teeth.

"Sam, it is time." I watched Sam stop and look at me. He spit out the toothpaste in his mouth, rinsing out the remainder with a swig of water. He rinsed off his toothbrush and grabbed a shirt as we headed out of the door. Sam and I walked into Charlie's room. Once inside, Sam and I took to leaning on the door frame. We stood there, arms crossed in a deafening silence. Charlie was the first to talk. She cleared her throat, drawing all attention to her.

"Ok, how about we start all over again. Let's actually introduce ourselves. I'm Charlene Abet, call me Charlie." She went around and shook hands with each of us. Which I noted was odd since I already knew she had met Sam and she was now … **intimately** familiar with Dean. She got to me and hesitated. She took my hand and stiffened. I knew that look; I had learned to shield myself from that particular gift. See, whenever I met someone for the first time and shook his or her hand, I saw all that had transpired in that person's life, in intimate detail, to just before the moment I took their hand. It was a painful process, but over the years I had learned to control it. She staggered back as I took my hand out of hers, when she opened her eyes they were a pale green. We made eye contact and I felt my eyes turn yellow. There was a recognition between us and our Magick. There was also a connection between us, an undeniable one.

"We're more alike than either of us could have guessed. I'm sorry, I've yet to meet a person who could block me." She walked over to her bed and sat down, rubbing her temples. She opened it up to questions.

"What do you mean?" I asked, "When you said that we are more alike than you thought?" She looked up at me, trying to explain about her gift and being able to see a person's life the first time they make physical contact with her. Flustered, she stood up.

"I can show you better than I can explain it." She offered me her hand. I hesitated a moment and then took her hand, I went ridige. Her life had been tragic, she had lost her husband and her parent's to the same demon that had taken someone from all of us. She had been institutionalized by her parents. Just like parents, making things worse. It was terrible. I stumbled back into Sam's arms. I nodded, wiping the trickle of blood that had run out of my nose. Our lives had been very similar, so similar to the point of creepy. We had come to a nonverbal understanding.

Yet there is an uneasiness that comes from meeting someone who's just as powerful or even more powerful than you. We both realized that we were probably equally powerful, just in slightly different regards. Sam looked down at me, curiosity written all over his face.

"I will show you later, promise." I said, Sam nodded. Dean looked at all three of us. He was not to keen on the psychic stuff. He was fully capable of being a psychic he just didn't like it, he was not a big fan of things that remained unexplainable. Dean was more of a 'If I can physically hold it and see it, then I know it exists' kind of guy. Charlie insisted on showing Dean, she had picked up on the fact that I had been working with the boys on their abilities. She had Dean lay down on her bed. I got a quick flash of their previous ….. activities. I shook my head and flashed with slight colour. This was getting more complicated by the minute.

"Sit down." I said, Sam looked around for the chair. I kneeled in between his legs after he sat down.

"This could be a little over whelming. I will do my best to keep it simple." I said, I ran my hands through his hair first, getting him to relax. I placed my hands on the sides of his face.

_Close your eyes._ I sent him. I watched as his eyes shuttered closed. I took a deep breath and set up the filter between my mind and Sam's. When Charlie had passed her past to me, it was slightly over whelming and caused a bit of a headache. I wanted to make it easier for Sam, our training had been interrupted when the government came looking for us. I released the memories, I felt Sam tense under my hands and shudder. After a few moments he knew everything I did, about Charlie, anyway.

Yes, I still have my secrets. My time with the Government was something we never talked about. It was something I tired desperately to forget, however the general was not letting me forget. When Sam came out of the vision, I knew my eyes had changed. We had been together for years and it still seemed to surprise him that my eyes changed colours. I looked over to find Charlie slowly bringing Dean out of the vision. He looked so disorientated. Not that I could blame him, mind you. I had been working with him on his own abilities but he was reluctant to learn. Which made it difficult to teach him. One must be open to the ideas and the teachings. I knew, just by the look on her face that she had filtered out a lot of her life. I watched Dean carefully. He exhaled quickly and the first words out of his mouth were.

"YOU WERE MARRIED!?!?" Charlie stumbled backward, shocked. She placed her hand over her heart, nodding.

"I was." She placed emphasize on the 'was'. "He died. But I showed you Dean, I showed you that it wasn't a happy relationship. We got married just to say we did. I wish I truly loved him… but he was more a friend than anything. True it was friends with benefits, but we had no business getting married." Dean seemed satisfied with her answer. She turned to me and Sam. Before she could say the word 'questions', Sam was asking about their father. I could see Charlie struggle with her own memories. She could not remember a lot and it bothered her. She could remember the jobs with stunningly clear detail, oddly enough. She started to talk about her trip back to Lawrence, Kansas when Dean interrupted.

"You're the girl in the woods? The one who was with the lady who yelled at me and said I wasn't ready for you yet. Dean Winches…I'm sor… that was you. Why didn't you tell me that you were with my dad? I would have given anything to see him then." I watched Charlie's face grow dark. She knew, just as well as I did, how John had left his kids. He did not want this kind of life for them. But it is in their blood. And look where we all ended up. Boulder, Colorado in the middle of a War we didn't start.

"I'm sorry. I was young and not quite sure of my own power. I didn't know what was real and what wasn't anymore…" Charlie was starting to doubt herself, something a Magickal person should rarely do. I jumped in.

"So, what can you do? Exactly?" She looked at me with the 'Thanks' look in her eyes. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth to answer.

"Charlene Abet would you come to the main conference room, Charlene Abet to the conference room." The speakers said. Charlie looked relieved, not that I can blame her. After I had spoken about John, the boys nearly jumped me for information. I suppose I had been lucky, since there was table between us.

"Sorry, duty calls. We can talk later?" she asked. Wonderful excuse, duty. She rushed out of the room. I sighed. Dean looked at me, almost pleading with me. I threw my hands up.

"Don't you dare! Sam and I have our own issues! I can't help you with her!" Sam laughed, then looked at me.

"Issues? We have issues?" He asked, clearly confused. I groaned and ran my hands threw my hair.

"I will be in the court yard." I said, leaving them to their own devices. Probably not the best idea, but I needed air and my own thinking space. Being around the guys was like having two other voices in my head and not being able to turn either one off. One of the fall backs of being Magickal, I suppose. There are some gifts that just can't be turned off.


	25. Chapter XXIV Revised 061307

**Chapter XXIV **

I was walking out in the courtyard. Things had gotten complicated.

_Story of my life._ I groaned.

With the arrival of Charlie things had gone all weird. I had never seen Dean acting the way he is. His head had always been in the game, on the job and the job alone. She was a distraction, I sensed that she was a good person and that she was going to do wonderful things. Both for the compound and for Dean. Yes, feel free to allow your mind to wander to whatever gutter it goes to.

Bottom line is, Dean needs someone like Charlie, she was strong, independent but also in need of support. She was gifted, Magickally and I had no doubt that they had a connection. I could feel it. It was undeniable. Suddenly I heard running steps approaching me. I turned to find Sam running up to me. I raised an eyebrow. He stopped right in front of me.

"Charlie needs you to talk to the people classified as 'M'." he stated, out of breath.

"You know, you move fast when you need your own thinking space." He said. I couldn't help but laugh.

"There further away I am from people, the better. The less voices up here." I said, tapping my right temple. Sam nodded and motioned for me to walk with him.

I followed Sam to the Conference room M. I was in the process of converting the room into a classroom. The General and I had talked about me training the Magickal people to be a secondary defense system incase something happened to the Warriors. I was to train all Magickal people.

Most of the Magickal were also Warriors, but there were others who were just Magickal. But I was having a hard time getting the classes started. I didn't have time, really. I work 12 hours a day, at least, with Sam on the Task Force, then I have to eat, sleep, clean my weapons, and keep others in line. It is a full time gig. I didn't have time to teach others, and the General insisted that there was no one else was qualified to teach. Bastard. Now I was sure that he was grooming me for a promotion.

"Jay? Honey?" Sam's voice broke my train of thought. Damn Train.

"Yeah?" I said. He looked out over the terrified faces of the newest group of refugees. I was so busy thinking about my stuff that I had forgotten about where Sam had been leading me.

"Oh, right." I said. Sam kissed me on the cheek, I heard a few giggles from the small children.

"I have to take the Warriors to get their gear for training." I nodded and watched Sam leave.

"Hello everyone. I am sure by now you are well past the point of scare and far beyond terrified." I heard some laughter. Good, I was getting some where.

"My name is Jaylynn. Call me Jay. I will be your coordinator for the next few weeks while you adjust to life in the compound. I am one of the elite members of the Task Force. I work shift one, which is 1900hrs to 0400 hrs. Other than that I am around the compound, if you need anything feel free to come and find me." I paused; I could feel the people calming down.

"Does anyone know why you are here? In this room with me?" I asked. I got blank stares and confused looks. Then, slowly a small hand raised. "Yes?"

"I am Claire." She said. She could not have been more than 7 years old. Too young to be orphaned. "We got the letter 'M' on our intake files." I nodded, getting up on one of the tables.

"What does 'M' stand for?" I asked, walking back and forth.

"Magickal." Claire was a smart girl.

_Her parents must have been Magickal as well. Magickal parents don't really hide much from their children, mostly because they can't hide things. Most Magickal children were telepathic, whether or not they stayed that way is up to them._ I watched as Claire's leaf green eyes sparkled. _Yep, she was a telepath and she just heard the entire conversation I had with myself._ I shook my head, smirking.

"Correct. 'M' stands for Magickal. Now most of you must be rolling your eyes or at least thinking about it." I felt the group laugh uneasily.

"After all the things that y'all have seen, I am not sure why it seems so unlikely that Magick, itself, exists. Now, mind you, Magick is not what fairy tales are made of. With power comes responsibility, I am sure many of you have heard it before, thanks to Uncle Ben. But here it is true. When the classes have been set up, I will be your instructor. Y'all will be come the secondary defense system for this complex." I made eye contact with everyone in the room before moving on.

"When you arrive at your rooms, there will be a stack of books that you should and will read. If question arise, write them down and when I am off shift, come and find me." Everyone was watching me intently, which made me slightly uncomfortable.

"When will the classes be finalized?" Claire asked. I stopped and turned to everyone again.

"The date itself is still up in the air." I said. Before anything else could be said a siren sounded, it was the kind of sound that one never really got use to. It was low and high pitched at the same time. Part of it made your body vibrate in a very unpleasant way, the other part made your head feel like it was going too exploded. But that siren could only mean one thing. Zombies. I cursed. I command every one's attention.

"I WANT ALL OF YOU TO STAY IN HERE. I WILL LOCK THE DOOR AFTER I LEAVE. NONE OF YOU WILL LEAVE. HAVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR?" Everyone nodded. Sam came bursting in, he tossed my effects. My shoulder holsters that held my Desert Eagles and my sword.

My sword itself was frightening. It was longer than my torso and curved. It looked somewhat like a Pirate Lord's blade. There was a hand guard and at the end of the hilt there was a large spike. Long enough that if applied to the back of the neck with the right amount of pressure, it would severe the spinal cord.

I put on my gear, strapping the sword to my back, and rushed out the door. As it closed I made sure the handle would not move. Good, locked. I looked in the classroom one last time and found Claire standing at the door. She placed her hand on the glass of the door. I placed my hand over hers. Suddenly her face went dark. Before I knew what was happening. I was being picked up. I cried out as the Zombie launched me across the hall. I rolled out of the throw, drawing my sword out of its sheath, the metallic sound echoing in the hall. The Zombie came at me again, with one swift movement I sliced its head off. The Zombie melted into a puddle of slim and bones. Yuck. I never did get use to that. I felt my stomach seize.

"JAY!!" I heard Sam calling to me. I took off running. Sam led the way to Charlie's room. We found Dean in there.

"Their closer than you think Dean." I heard Charlie say. That saying sent shivers up my spine.

"This is an internal break. The captives escaped. You'll get them, but you need to go now." Sam reached in and grabbed Dean by the back of the collar and yanked hard.

"Dean we have to go!! The main part of the Zombies are in the living area. We have to protect the Civilians!!" Dean and Sam took off. I stood at Charlie's door and wait for her to acknowledge my concern. She paused and looked at me. It was in her eyes. The Zombie coming for her was her husband, Bryan. She nodded and I nodded back. She could handle herself. I knew it, she knew it. I took off toward the living area. I ran into Dean before getting to the living room.

"Charlie!" He said, holding his heart.

"Charlie is in trouble!!" Dean took off back toward her room. I knew there was no stopping him. Sam and I looked at each other and took off to the living area. There were about five left. It was not hard for us to kill or sedate the rest. Lucky no one was bitten. I looked around, just in time to see Charlie tearing off toward the gates. I felt her panic and Dean's panic.

"Sam …" I said, he turned to see what I was looking at. We both took off. Suddenly we heard a gun shot. My heart stopped.

_Charlie_. I thought, my own mind knowing what had happened. I heard Dean screaming her name. Sam took off up the compound wall stairs and took out the sniper that had mistaken Charlie for a Zombie. I took off toward her, in the blink of an eye, Dean was at my side. We watched as Charlie staggered, took a deep breath, raised her face toward the ski and screamed with all the breath she had left. Dean and I arrived as Charlie fell back into Dean's arms. She was barely breathing. Dean looked at me with tears in his eyes.

"Jay?" He asked. I hesitated, it had been a long a while since I had healed anyone.

"Dean … I…" I started.

"Just keep her alive!" He said, the tears slipping down his face. I took her head in my hands and Dean moved so that her head was resting in my lap. I took a deep breath, pooling all the energy I had in my core. I could feel my body warming up. I closed my eyes and felt the heat traveling from my body through my hands into her body. I heard her groan and I heard Dean sigh with relief. I felt Sam rushing up to us and a group of other people. I felt Sam's hands touch me, I felt the connection between me and Charlie break. Then my world went black.


	26. Chapter XXV Revised 061307

**Chapter XXV **

I woke up with a pain in my left side that was not mine own. Damn, I had forgotten to shield myself, therefore I had taken some of Charlie's pain and wound. Oops. Ouch. I felt around before I opened my eyes. Rough sheets, hard pillow, smell of death. Infirmary. I reached out with my spidy senses.

For those of you who have never read a Kay Hooper book, a spidy sense is when you use your psychic energy to enhance the normal five senses or even the sixth, depending on how good you were, in a given way. I felt the nurses and doctors in the three surrounding rooms. I felt Charlie, still very much unconscious, Dean pacing in her room. Sam sitting next to my bed just watching me. I slowly opened my eyes; it was much brighter than I had expected. I grimaced, closing my eyes again. I reached out and touched Sam's hand that was resting on the bed bars. Sam jumped and I smiled.

"Could you close the blinds or turn off the lights. It is far to bright." Another hitch about being gifted, sometimes your senses become hyper sensitive. Sam got up and flipped off the light. I opened my eyes. That was much better. I looked at Sam; everything was in sharp detail.

_Damn, forgot to retract my spidy sense._ I took a deep breath and felt everything return to normal. Sam looked at me with amazement as my eyes changed back to their normal honey/hazel colour.

"After all this time and you still aren't use to seeing that?" I asked, slyly. He knew exactly what I was referring too.

"I guess it is just something that one never really gets use to." He stated, sitting on the edge of my bed. Dr. Strange walked in.

"How are you feeling, Miss. Dawnivan?" he asked.

"Like I was hit by a two ton train, how are you?" I asked. He smiled.

"I am wonderful, thank you." I tried to laugh but my ribs would not allow it to happen.

"It seems that you absorbed some of Miss. Abet's wound. You have a broken lower rib and some internal bruising. You should be better in no time, just take it easy on your shifts." He knew that I would not stop all together. That was an advantage to having a psychic as a doctor.

"And yes, you may go home." I smiled and nodded to Sam.

We slowly walked out of the Infirmary and down to our room. Sam laid me into our bed. Next shift was going to suck.

I was right, it did. But not as much as things were going to suck. Things had started going down hill; the General had cracked down on everyone since Charlie had been shot by one of our own. The bastard had not been wearing his glasses, the ones that show you humans and Zombies. We had all paid for it; he had been demoted back into the civilian part of the compound, which was at that point, over crowded.

The General had been making preparations for many of the civilians to be moved to transported to a compound to the east. Sam and I were cuddling after a particularly hard shift. Sam had fallen asleep almost instantly when his head hit the pillow and his arms were secure around my waist. I was just falling asleep when there was a soft rapping on our door. I squirmed out of Sam grip, causing him to stir. I wrapped myself in the closest thing I could find, which happened to be one of Sam's button up shirts. I pulled it on with a pair his boxers from our clean laundry basket and I opened the door to find a very pale Charlie leaning against the doorway.

"Charlie?" I said. I gave her the once over.

"You should not be out of bed." She nodded.

"We need to talk." She said. That is never a good statement.

"Okay," I grabbed my keys and slipped out closing the door. I motioned for her to lead the way. She turned and began walking, well shuffling. We didn't walk very far or very fast, but Charlie began talking to me.

"I had a dream, well vision." She started. We stopped and sat down on a bench in the hall not far from my room.

"I can't explain it, but I can show you." Her hand shot out with lightening speed and grabbed the side of my head.

_Mostly, it was the typical zombie shit that had gotten so annoying by now. Then there was something new, something different. Charlie was deep in the mountains to the south of the compound so far that one couldn't even see the compound anymore- not even the watchtowers. So she started wandering into the mountains even more. Charlie came over a ridge and saw an open field with more mountains about 100 feet behind it. She crossed the plain, crossed more mountains and wound up by a river. There was nothing around this river for at least 10 miles; the river itself was completely open._

_Charlie looked up the river and saw about ten people drinking from it. She ran up to those people, they were zombies. Odd. She stopped and looked at the water they were drinking. It was blood red. Probably about a 50-50 split between water and blood._

_They stop drinking and walk to a cave that's about 100 feet East of the river. Charlie followed them into the cave and saw hundreds of them. They've gathered there in the middle of the cave. Their leader emerges from the right and starts talking to them. Speaking to them and for some reason they understand him. She realize, shit it's the real deal- this guys the one we're looking for. He instructs them to once again attack the compound, try to come from the North. They all nod in understanding and begin walking out of the cave in a group. None of them can see her, and most of them walk through her. Let me tell you this is a very odd feeling. However, their leader spots her. He could see her._

_**-"C**__harlie, my dear, welcome. I'm glad you accepted my invitation. Unfortunately, this is the only way I could think of to reach you. I know you don't remember me, I made sure of that. Please call me Doc. You and I need to have a serious conversation." She refused. " Stubborn as usual I see. You know you are much more cooperative when we drug you… but that's another story. You and I need to meet. You were taken from us before we could complete our research. I want to finish. You're the last subject and you're the one that got away. I believe your Agent Daven came to fetch you. Anyway, I want to set up a time for us to meet. I want to make a deal."_

_Charlie found that for some reason she can't speak, but her actions detail her curiosity and disdain. He continues, "Here's my idea. I'll give you what you want the most. I'll give you your friend and husband back. One simple spell. I may even consider giving you the spell to end all of this-but that's if you cooperate. In return, I expect you to come see me so I can finish my research. Of course, you'll see me before I recite the spell. You will come alone. How about next Thursday. Meet me here. I'll make sure your path is clear."_

"_I don't go anywhere alone." She finally over came his hold on her. _

_He laughs and says, "My dear girl you don't know how long I've been watching you. You're always alone."_

"_What happens to everyone, everything. Is anything restored, are problems fixed? Or do they just come back as is? There's nothing you can do to make this right. What makes you think I want them back? Why would I want just two of them back? What about the rest of the world?" She asked._

"_It's a bit more difficult to explain. Everything will be as it is now, except they won't be zombies. It's up to the world to clean up my mess. But what you have to ask yourself is do you want this to end? Are you willing to sacrifice yourself for them? They'll be alive, you'll be with me."_

"_Wait… wait… wait," She interrupted. "You're saying that if I go to you this ends, yet nothing will be fixed, nothing will be right. This is all dependent upon me? BULLSHIT. You wouldn't stop it if you could. You've been waiting on me. And you'll continue to wait. We'll find you in our time. And we'll kill you. I don't want them back, I've moved on. You hold nothing on me. I'm not your damn guinea pig anymore…. All I can say to you is fuc…."_ I stumbled backward, head pounding. I nodded.

"I understand. We will get a team together in the morning and prepare an assault." Suddenly we both doubled over.

"Dean's awake." Charlie said. "And he is panicking." I nodded.

"I should head back, I am pretty tired." I nodded again. She walked slowly back to her room. I tiptoed back into my room, dropped my keys on the dresser and pulled off the clothes I was wearing. I crawled back into bed and felt Sam's arms snake back around my waist. He nuzzled into my shoulder, sending a slight shiver down my body. I took a few deep breaths, in order to calm my racing heart and pounding head. That vision had kicked my ass.

So the Scientist was here. And he wanted Charlie. Things just got even more complicated.


	27. Chapter XXVI Revised 061307

**Chapter XXVI**

Needless to say, the tactical raid that I organized based on Charlie's dream/vision, was a bust. The cave was completely empty with no sign of Zombie activity. The General was not happy. He claimed it was a waste of patrolling time. I had to remind him that being a psychic was not nor will ever be an exact art. Visions only come in pieces, if they come in a whole it is extremely painful for the psychic, causing nosebleeds, migraines, or vomiting.

After our failed raid, activity in the outside world seemed to cease, at best. The Zombie activity had become minimal, even patrols where uneventful. We would drive around for the duration of the shift, picking up survivors. By this time, Sam and I had taken over the day shift and Dean and Charlie had moved to the graves. Every six months to a year, the squads would switch shifts, just to keep things fresh.

The date was July 4, 2010. Happy Birthday, America. The civilian area was far past over crowded. The transport the General had been working on was finally happening. The re-enforced bus would transport over three hundred civilians to the East. It seemed that the compound we were living in was rated the number one for Zombie activity, according to average kills and sightings. The General had demanded that ALL Task Force members be present during the departure.

It was an emotional time for Charlie, well, as much emotion as she would allow herself to feel. A dear friend of hers was leaving on the bus, something about it "being too much to handle" or something like that. All I knew was that it was someone from her recent past that she thought had been lost.

It was 0930 hrs when the bus left the gates. The General had assigned Dean and me on sniper duty. We stood on top of the wall, rifles poised, waiting for something to happen. Sure enough, the bus was about 200 yards out when it was attacked by a flood of Zombies. Charlie freaked. She climbed down the wall, screaming for someone to sound the alarm. I smashed the butt of my rifle into the glass covering, it shattered with ease. I pulled the switch and a high pitch alarm rang out. I pulled the rifle up and looked through the laser scope. Dean and I began picking off the Zombies that were clawing at the bulletproof glass or trying to pry open the doors. I watched as Charlie began to march out with the troops. I felt a sudden seize in my chest and watched her drop. I had to force myself to remain in the game and on task. Those civilians were counting on someone like me to keep them alive. I felt dizzy and had to steady myself. That could only mean one thing, Sam was having a vision and Charlie was sharing it. As quickly as it had started, it was gone. Charlie was on her feet and running for the wall. Again, I had to keep my head in the game. I could hear the screaming from the bus and feel the panic from the people inside. The Zombies just keep coming; it was like they had been waiting for us to deliver. They were either getting smart or the good Scientist had found himself a psychic. Suddenly I heard Sam's voice in my head.

_JAY!!_ It shook me. I turned to find him in the courtyard. _Grab Dean. Arm yourself discreetly. Make your way through the crowd and find me._ I didn't question him. His visions were never wrong, which meant something bad was about to go down inside the compound. I grabbed Dean and we handed off the rifles to two other sharp shooters. They took over immediately, no questions asked. Dean and I moved as fast as possible to catch up with Sam. He filled us in with short sentences.

"9 Zombies. 7 in the Lab, break out. 2 in the kitchen. They go after the General." He had me at nine and of course Dean just liked killing things. We took of to the Lab.

See after the first break out the scientist had designed a fail-safe switch. It was an incinerator that was linked to all the Zombie cages. I flipped the switch as Dean and Sam evacuated the scientist. None of them were harmed, not even a bump. It seems that Sam and Charlie's vision had giving us a good head start.

Sam and I searched the rest of the building while Dean and Charlie tired to move the crowd of people to the shelters. Sam and I found nothing inside. We were headed back outside when we spotted the General getting ready to open the door. We tried to wave him down, but we were too late. He opened the door, a Zombie jumped him, biting into his throat and ripping back. Sam shot the Zombie, it fell back with a piece of the General's throat still in its mouth. I rushed to the General, scooping him up into my lap. I applied pressure to his wound as best I could while screaming for help.

The entire compound had just seen their number 1 attacked inside the walls. He reached up and touched my cheek, smiling he left a smug of blood running down the side of my face and neck. He died in my arms. It was like nothing I had ever felt before, the feeling of his soul being torn from his body. It felt like a suction cup being pulled off a glass surface, and I was the glass. I continued to scream, mostly from the horror of the vibration the departing of his soul left in my body and senses. By the time a doctor got there his blood had begun to cool on my skin. They removed his body from my grip and snapped his neck, just to be sure he would not rise.

I was left with the horror of what I had felt and his blood all over me. The civilians were all alive and unturned, thankfully. They were brought back into the compound while the bus was being repaired. The General's son Jackson, one of the Captains, took over temporarily. He had the compound locked down and searched. I just sat of the ground looking down at my hands, they were covered in blood, I was covered in blood. Human blood. Something I had never been drenched in before. Demon blood, Zombie goo, ectoplasm, that is different. This was someone's life that had spilled out onto me.

"JAYLYNN!!" Jackson's voice broke into my thoughts. I looked up at him, a tear falling down my face, leaving a clear streak in the blood.

"Go shower." He ordered, in a softer voice. He put his hand on my shoulder and knelt down so that he was level with me. I looked back at my hands, horrified. He motioned to Sam, who came over and helped me to my feet. We walked, actually, Sam walked and I stumbled, back to our room. He went into the bathroom and started the shower, I slumped to the floor, still staring at my hands. Sam had stripped down to his boxers when he came back to help me. He undressed me carefully, it seemed that I was unable to control even the most basic of my motor functions. Sam sat me in the water, I felt the warmth of it but I was still cold. Chilled to the bone. I felt so alone as I watched the blood run off my body and down the drain. The sight of the 50/50 mixture running down the drain made me snap. I broke into tears. I curled up in a ball and sobbed. Sam came back in the room and touched my shoulder. I was so cold, so alone. I nearly knocked him over when I jumped into his arms. I needed to feel someone else's warmth. I needed the feel his beating heart, his soul. He just held me as I broke apart. If it was not for my skin I could have shattered into a thousand pieces.

After we were both clean, Sam carried me to our bed and laid me down. He told me that Jackson was making arrangements for a funeral tomorrow, the General was to be honoured like the solider he was. After our ceremony, his body would be loaded into the back of a Hummer, driven to the airstrip and flown to Arlington Nation Cemetery. Jackson was going to go with the body and probably never return. Sam turned out the lights and set our alarm. He climbed into bed and held me.

The ceremony was beautiful. But a soldier's funeral should be nothing less. Sam, Dean, Jackson, myself and two other soldier's where the ones to load the General into the Hummer. I hadn't gotten along with the man in the beginning, but he had grown on me. I had developed a healthy respect from him and his position. I have a small amount of knowledge when it came to the job he did. He was the lesion between us and the main body of the government that was hold up somewhere that only the Generals of the compounds scattered all over the United States. That alone was a big burden, then add the safety of hundreds of people, including your troops and things got real stressful. After the Hummer was out of sight, the compound was again locked down and searched for activity. The days went fast. The busload of civilians left safely and arrived safely at it destination.

Slowly the days turned into weeks. Dean, Sam, Charlie, and I were the only ones left that would still go out and fight the good fight, which had turned into a war. We changed the shifts. Shift one – me and Sam, 1200hrs-2400hrs. Shift two – Charlie and Dean, 2400hrs-1200hrs. Two people per shift.

Everything had been thrown into sharp reality, everyone was now faced with their own mortality. Something most people are not to keen on facing. They will deny it up until the moment they die. The General's death had frozen the entire compound. No one wanted to go out and patrol any more. They were hopeless and lost. The Warriors had lost their cause. The General had been a symbol to everyone, his mortality shocked the entire compound.

Mortality was something that Dean, Sam, Charlie, and I had faced already. Sam had lost Jessica, Dean and Sam had lost their father. I had lost Jacob, my parents, and my mentor. Charlie had lost her best friend, her parents, her husband, and her mentor. We had all paid a steep price for the courage we hold. We were watched by everyone. No one could figure out why we were stilling doing what we did. No one understood that life outside to compound continued, there was still survivors that needed to be saved, Zombies that needed to be killed, people that needed to be protected. Slowly, as we came back alive and unturned, after every shift with minor bumps and bruises, the Warriors began coming back, dividing themselves among our shifts. Soon the entire Task Force had been rebuilt.

It took some serious creativity to get everything running smoothly. Dean, Sam, Charlie and myself sat down after the Task Force members started coming back and planned thing out, making sure we dotted all the i's and crossed all the t's, so to speak. We divided our assigned patrolling area into Quadrants and then into sectors, 1 square mile by 1 square mile, 640 acres. Each shifted would patrol three to five sectors per shift and then meet during briefing and report on activity. We would go over the areas covered, where survivors had been found, their condition, where we had found Zombie nests, sighting and other things of that nature, which we organized into Intel files. Briefing was at 1100 hrs and 2300hrs everyday or every shift. Once all the quadrants had been covered, we started over with Quadrant one. We took every 13th day off, to recover and go over things.

The four of us had inadvertently taken over the compound. It was now our job to keep in contact with Headquarters, located somewhere in Washington D.C., over see the research, report on the findings, over see all shifts, set up screening processes for survivors and potential Task Force Members. We set up a train course, kind of like and Academy, for all applicants to the Task Force. Things had started up again.

Time seemed to fly. Then in August, Dean asked Charlie to marry him. Rushed? A little. But Dean was madly in love with Charlie, though he would never admit it. Sam and I helped his shop for the ring. Charlie, of course said yes. She too was madly in love, though you would never hear her say that. Then the date was set. October 31, 2010, new moon. Symbolizing new beginnings. Odd date, but Sam was adamant about it happening on that day, something about it being the one day were the dead can walk among us. To which I pointed out that the dead already walk among us, we kill them everyday. Of course Sam just sighed, shaking his head. He knew that I had chosen to ignore what he really meant.

"I meant that Dad and Mom can be here. We can have their blessings." He said. A romantic notion indeed. I liked the idea, though I still gave him shit. I understood what Halloween actually meant.

See in the old days, it was called All Hallow's Eve, it is the one day where powerful Magick moves among all things, the one day where the Vail between our world and the world of the others is paper thin. If a spirit truly wanted to cross over, they could. It was the day where, if a Witch truly understood Magick, he or she could tap into it. The Magick was the most primal and basic magick there is in existence, it is also the most powerful.


	28. Chapter XXVII Revised 061307

**Chapter XXVII **

October 31, 2010. Our wedding day. Since it was not the 13th day, we still had to work. Sam and I would marry after our shift was over, Dean and Charlie would marry before their shift started. Everything came to a stand still, we returned an hour before our shift was due to end. Dean and Charlie had been preparing, I was the Maid of Honour and Sam was the Best Man. The four of us had grown very close over the past four months. We had mostly kept to ourselves and had minimal interactions with the Civilians. It was our nature to separate ourselves.

The courtyard had been decorated for the weddings. There were white roses and Sterling rose up the isle, there was a judge to certify the marriage, a priest to perform the ceremony. The entire compound was attending.

When I arrived I was ushered into the showers to clean up after a long shift. I was washed from head to toe. I was moisturized and dressed in the creamy braid's maid gown. I was glittered and dolled up. My hair was done up in a mess of curls, and my make up done like a beauty queen.

The Ceremony was short and sweet. Then it was my turn. I was ushered back into the dressing room, stripped down, dressed in my wedding gown. My make-up was touched up, my hair was re-done and I was given a bouquet. The next thing I knew, I was standing at the end of the isle, listening to the violins play "Here Comes the Bride".

I walked down the isle behind the flower girls, one of which was little Claire, stepping on the petals that they had scattered. Behind me the like ring barer tried very hard not to step on my train. He was watching his feet so intently that when I stopped he ran into me. The crowd laughed and he coloured, rushing to his place beside Dean.

"We are gathered here today to bare witness to the vows of these two people." The priest touched both of our shoulders.

"Do you Samuel Michael Winchester, take Jaylynn Jinn Dawnivan to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love, comfort and keep, forsaking all others, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?" Sam smiled.

"I do." He said.

"Do you Jaylynn Jinn Dawnivan, take Samuel Michael Winchester to be your lawfully wedded husband to love, comfort and keep, forsaking all others, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live?" The priest turned his eyes to me yet my eyes never left Sam's.

"I do." I confirmed.

"If there is anyone who objects to this union, speak no or forever hold your peace." The priest paused. Sam and I continued to look into each other's eyes. We had both gotten so close to someone before and lost them. This was a big step for both of us. We were taking the leap together. Hopefully we would fly.

"Take these rings." He hand Sam and I the rings. "As a symbol of the eternal love that you share. The band never breaking, looping forever in a circle. Sam, if you will repeat after me. I, Samuel Michael Winchester, take thee Jaylynn Jinn Dawnivan to be my wife…"

"I, Samuel Michael Winchester, take thee Jaylynn Jinn Dawnivan to be my wife…" Sam said, taking my left hand.

"I promise to be forever faithful. I vow that I will love you for always and forever…." The priest continued.

"I promise to be forever faithful. I vow that I will love you for always and forever…." Sam confirmed.

"With this ring, I thee wed."

"With this ring, I thee wed." Sam slid the plain white gold ring on my finger. The inside was engraved with the date and a quote from my favorite love story. 'Real Love Is Forever.'. The priest turned to me.

"Jaylynn, repeat after me. I, Jaylynn Jinn Dawnivan, take thee Samuel Michael Winchester to be my husband …"

"I, Jaylynn Jinn Dawnivan, take thee Samuel Michael Winchester to be my husband …" I stated, my voice a little shaky.

"I promise to be forever faithful. I vow that I will love you for always and forever…." He continued.

"I promise to be forever faithful. I vow that I will love you for always and forever…." I repeated.

"With this ring I thee wed."

"With this ring I thee wed." I slid the white gold band on to his finger. The inside engraved with the date and the quote 'Real Love Is Forever.'.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife." He paused. We both looked at him.

"You may no kiss the bride." Sam smiled, pulling me in and touching our lips together. The priest turned his attention to the audience, holding his arms out at the fully span.

"I have the pleasure of introducing Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Winchester!" The crowd cheered. I could hear Dean hollering over everyone else.

"THAT'S MY BOY, SAMMY!!" Dean and Charlie had gotten dressed for our wedding as the Maid of Honour and the Best Man. Dean pulled Charlie in for a kiss. Many people viewed all the kissing as a photo opportunity. The bubbles were blown and the air horns sounded. Sam carried me back to our room and opened the door, carrying me over the threshold.

Some of the civilians had, apparently taken the time to decorate our room. There were lit candles everywhere, soft music playing and there was a loving rose smell in the air. Sam and I stood there in awe. We walked into the bathroom to find the Jacuzzi bathtub filled with steaming water, rose petals, and rose oil. Sam made quick work on the ties on the back of my dress. It was not long before we were both standing there in nothing but our skivvies. The ladies had taken the liberty of find white lace skivvies for me, Sam had to take a step back and just admire it for a moment. It was the girliest thing I had ever worn. Before we could get into anything the alarm sounded. We both groaned and grabbed our Task Force gear. We rushed to the wall. I finished checking my weapons as I came up along side Charlie and Dean.

"Tell me this is of extreme importance." I groan, putting my radio ear piece in. Charlie laughed.

"Sorry, did the Zombie alarm interrupt something?" She joked.

"We didn't have the chance to start anything." I grouched. "This shit is never going to end, is it?" I asked.

"I will end." She said. "It has to." She sounded as doubtful as I did. There was a silence that settled over all of us. Every time the alarm sounded, all Task Force members were to report at the wall, civilians were to head to the shelters. I got radio confirmation that all civilians were safely in the shelters and all Task Force members were on the wall. We just waited. The alarm meant that a Zombie had come within 500 yards of the compound. After the bus incident and the General's death we had put up sensors.

Suddenly we heard a blood-curdling scream. Charlie and I watched as a mother and three children came bursting through the forest. None of them had been turned. They were 200 yards from the wall when the mother tripped and broke something. Charlie and I were down the wall and running toward them before Dean and Sam could register what was happening. I heard them cry out for cover fire. Charlie went for the Mother and what seemed to be the oldest child. Charlie threw the mother over her shoulder and grabbed the hand of the oldest child, pulling her toward the wall. I scooped up the smallest and grabbed the hand of the other little girl. We ran full speed to the wall. We were handing the civilians up when Charlie turned around and yelled.

"JAY!! WE WON'T HAVE TIME TO GET OUT OF REACH!!" I handed the little boy to Sam and spun around. The Zombies were 100 yards and closing. Charlie and I had a silent understanding. We looked at each other and nodded. I gathered all the energy I could, forming a ball in my hands. In unison we stomped our feet and pushed the ball outward. Sending a wave of pure heat out, incinerating all the Zombies with in a 300-yard radius. They were safe. I felt darkness over taking me. I fell backward into someone's arms. I faintly heard Sam yelling me name. My world went dark and all I could hear was the rapid beating of my own heart.


	29. Chapter XXVIII Revised 061307

**Chapter XXVIII**

I slowly opened my eyes and was greeted with a blinding light.

_Oh shit!! I died! I'm dead!_ I felt myself panic and I moved suddenly. _Ouch!! Wait … if I am dead, how can I feel pain?_ Then Sam's face came into view, blocking out the blinding light. _Oh, right…the Infirmary._ I felt silly for panicking. I had never used that power before in that amount.

"There you are." He smiled. "You scared us there for a second."

_Us?_ I wondered, unable to look around.

"Yes, us." I heard a familiar voice. Dr. Strange came into my peripheral vision. I nodded to the best of my ability.

"You know Mrs. Winchester, you should be more careful when you use your powers. Next time you might not be so lucky. You nearly drained yourself." I almost giggled at the sound of my new last name and title.

"You will be free to go home in a few hours, after your body regenerates." He said, leaving the room.

"Please don't do that again." He said to me. I opened my mouth to talk and all that came out was a pathetic little squeak.

_Do what?_ I sent. Giving up on the struggle to talk.

"Scare me like you did. I thought I had lost you." He said, the gleam of a tear in his eye.

_Sorry._ I sent. He smiled, running his hand through my hair. We sat there for a few hours until I could feel every part of my body again and, by the way, every part of my body felt gross.

"The civilians re-drew the bath." He said, sensing my sudden discomfort. I smirked.

"Really?" I inquired. We went back to the room and threw our dirty clothes into the hamper behind the bathroom door. I lowered myself into the steaming water. It enveloped my body in a relaxing warmth. I watched Sam lower himself opposite me. He leaned his head back and sighed. I knew that look. That was the 'It has been a long day and all I want is the pleasure of your company'. I didn't have problem with that notion. I will leave the details to your imagination. I will just say that we had a nice wedding night.

The bliss did not last. One week later while on shift, I got hurt. Pretty bad. I don't know what it is with the Zombies and picking me up. They don't like to try and bite me, they like to throw me. I was picked up by a particularly large Zombie and thrown against the side of a brick building. I heard something crack and felt something break for sure. I slid down the side and just laid there, gathering my strength. I was hurt bad and I was all too aware of it. I heard the big guy approaching me. I jumped up and ran my sword through his throat, severing the connection. I grabbed my side in pain. Broken rib, mostly likely. Then I felt the liquid warmth running threw my fingers. I looked down and found a metal stake through my side.

_Oh, that sucks._ I thought. I dropped to one knee.

"Sam!" my voice was failing me. It no more than a sad little squeak.

_SAM!_ I called out to him. He was at my side in an instant. He looked down at the object that had run me through. He called out to our squad. They scooped me up and put me in the van. I felt the darkness creeping in around the edges of my world. I gripped Sam's hand like a vice.

"FASTER!! DRIVE FASTER!!" Sam hollered to the driver who floored it. One of the team radioed ahead to have a medical team standing by. I kept trying to push down on the wound, to slow the bleeding but Sam kept taking my hand and holding it.

"You're not helping!" He said, frantic. We sped through the gates and came to a screeching halt. The van doors flew open and a swarm of medical technicians flooded the van. They ushered the team out and tried to take my hand from Sam's. I gripped tighter. They knew that it was hopeless. They loaded me on to a gurney, I felt the pinch of the IV as the needle entered my arms. The burning sensation of the painkillers entered my blood stream I could feel the wind racing over my body as we ran full speed toward the Infirmary. The last thing I could remember was hearing Sam begging me to hold on.

I felt like my body weigh a ton, at least. I could not move anything. I could barely feel how cold my feet where. I reached out with my mind, searching for someone with answers. I felt Sam and Dr. Strange talking outside my room. I made sure both of them knew I was semi-conscious. I felt Sam take my hand, rubbing my knuckles with his thumb.

"Mrs. Winchester? Can you understand me?" I heard Dr. Strange.

_I can hear you._ I replied. I knew from the raw feeling in my throat that I could not talk even if I wanted to.

"Good." I heard him flipping through my file. "It seems you are very lucky. The object missed your spine. We have you on heavy doses of painkillers and sedatives. That is why you feel like a pile of lead." He paused.

"You are going to have to remain here for a week, minimum. You have serious damage internally. We had to go in and stitch everything back up. Anything that could tear the stitches will not be done for 2 months at least." He was not giving me an option. That meant I was on leave for the next 2 months, minimum. I could tell by the feeling I was getting from Sam, I was in trouble. He, with is caring nature, would wait until I was feeling better to have the conversation. Which meant he would brood over it until then. Fantastic.

"I will be watching over you for the duration of your stay. Many of my interns are still developing their psychic skills, they could hurt you more than help you." I nodded as best I could with my heavy head. Now I would have some time alone in my head to figure things out. I knew exactly what Sam wanted to talk about. He wanted me to start teaching the Magickal people how to use their powers. Now that we were married, he had a harder time with the thought of me injured. Our work in the field was really dangerous, not that our work had ever been anything but danger. We had this conversation when we first started date back before the Virus. I had stood firm. A hunter is what I was. It was all I knew how to do. Just because he was uncomfortable with the idea of me in danger didn't mean I was going to stop doing what I do. I guess now that we had exchanged our vows, he thought it was time to have the conversation again. We were both stubborn. I was still not willing to budge.

It is not that I enjoy spending time doped up or high in La-La Land. It was the fact that my life had been in danger long before I meet Sam and it has been after we meet. The danger was never going to change, that was the only certain thing besides death in our lives.

By three weeks I was able to move on my own. I started to build back up to my old strengths. By 6 weeks I was moving fine, with the occasional twinge if I was over extending myself. Dr. Strange had done a good job sewing me up. He said the stitches would dissolve when my body was healed. Something about my body eating away at the material or something like that. I never really listened to the medical jargon.

I was sitting at the desk in our room, working on the classes and looking over the reports from the last couple of weeks and recording them into the Intel file when Sam came in. 2400hrs. Shift two on the clock. He looked really tired, not that it would stop him for confronting me.

"When I get out of the shower, I would like to talk to you." He said. I nodded and thought about running out before he got out of the shower. He shot me the 'Don't make me hunt you down' look. I waved my hand and nodded, going back to the reports. It seems that the activities had died down again. There seemed to be a pattern in the changes, but before I could put my finger on it, Sam was out of the shower and wanting to talk.

"Jay," he started. "We need to talk about this." He motioned to my side, which I was guarding unconsciously.

"You are well aware of how I feel about this. I don't like the idea of you in danger." He paused, running his hands through his shaggy hair. "I know what you are going to say, the danger is always going to be there. But please consider my side. Think about it through my eyes. The love of my life, in constant danger." He paused, looking at me. He was using the puppy eyes, damn it.

"I am not asking you give anything up. I just want you to start taking it easy. Maybe work every other shift. The classes need to be set up for the Magickal people. They need a teacher and you are the best for the job." Sam said, deciding that it was best not to touch me at the moment.

"I am not a teacher, Sam." I said.

"You taught me and Dean how to use our powers." I could not argue with that. Dean had been every reluctant to learn, until he meet Charlie. Truth was, I had been working on turning one of the interview rooms into a classroom. I had ordered all the books and had all my books brought to the compound. I was stubborn, Sam knew that. But he also knew that this was a close one.

"I will think about it." Sam looked at me for a moment, sensing whether or not I was just humoring him. He nodded.

"Thank you." He said, motioning for me to join him on the bed. I got up and slowly moved to sit beside him. He took me into a tight hug. That talk was nice, compared to the other one. The next day when Sam got up to go out into the field I went to the interview room and started working. It was around dinnertime when my body finally told me I was done for the day. Dr. Strange had told me that things might take a while.

I had been thinking all day. Maybe Sam was right. Trouble did find me, it seemed at times like it sought me out. Why should I go hunting for trouble when it always seemed to find me? On my way back to our room I ran into Dean.

"Hey kiddo. Nice to see you in one piece." I shook my head. "My keen sense of the female tells me that you are troubled. Can I help?" he offered me his arm. I accepted and we started walking around the complex.

"Sam and I had a talk last night." I started. "After this latest incident, he wants me to take it slow. Maybe start teaching the secondary defense system." Dean nodded.

"What is wrong with him wanting to keep you safe?" Dean asked.

"Nothing." I said hastily. "I just don't know if I can do it. I am so use to the constant high of hunting and killing. I am not sure I can slow down." I said. Dean nodded.

"I guess it will take more motivation won't it?" he asked. I am not sure what he meant by that but it left me thinking, more. Not what I needed. I went back to our room and waited for Sam to come home. This was a conversation that I had been rehearsing in my head for hours before he walked through the door.

"Sam?" I asked from the shadows. He turned to me.

"It is my turn to talk." He nodded and set his stuff down.

"I have been thinking about this all day. I am not ready to slow my life down. It was a big step for us to get married. I know you understand that. I see your point and I hope you can see mine. I am so use to living life on the edge, I am not sure I can slow down. Not yet. Give me time." Sam nodded, looking disappointed. But some how he was calm. He stood up and hugged me.

"Time is all we have." He said, kissing me on the forehead.


	30. Chapter XXIX Revised 061307

**Chapter XXIX**

The days turned into weeks, the weeks into months, months into a year. I still had not made a decision. I had been avoiding the topic all together, actually. And I was about to get an even bigger shock than having to decide whether or not to work part time in the field. I had gone in for my annual exam that the doctors had ordered. I was buttoning up my shirt when Dr. Strange walked in looking over my files, one of his eyebrows raised.

"Well, it seems that you are in perfect working order." He said, closing the file and looking at me.

"Then what if the face for?" I asked, eyeing him.

"I have … news." He said. I made a move to stand up. "No, no. You may want to remain seated." He motioned for me to stay put.

"Mrs. Winchester…." He paused again.

"Damn it Doctor!! Stop dragging it out. You said I was healthy! What the hell could be wrong?" I shouted.

"You're pregnant." He said. My eyes went wide.

"I'm what?" I asked for clarification.

"You're pregnant, Jaylynn." He restated. I stood up and grabbed the file out of his hands. I had to see for myself. I looked over the reports. He was right. The pregnancy test was positive. Still, I would not believe it.

"Here," he said, handing me a home pregnancy test.

"Read the instructions. I knew you would not believe me." He said, not insulted at all. I rushed out of the room. Unfortunately, my shift was going to start in less than 15 minutes. Not enough time, mostly because I did not have to pee. I shoved the test into the back of one of the drawers in our bathroom and got dressed for our shift.

"Quadrants 11 through 15 covered, minimal activity. Your shift should be cake tonight." Dean was briefing everyone, but I was not actually paying attention. Charlie pulled me aside while my squad was leaving the briefing room.

"Jay? Is everything okay?" Charlie asked.

"I am …. just distracted." I said. She nodded, knowing not to push more. If there was one thing that was understood about The Elite, never push for answers, we will talk to someone when we are ready.

"Keep your mind on the job. You are a trouble magnet." I smirked, checking my weapons.

"You have no idea." I stated, winking at her as I walked out to the armored van. The shift passed with few incidents. In Quadrant 17 we found a group of about a dozen survivors. They were transported to the compound while we continued on foot. We were walking down the streets of the abandoned town 33 miles outside of the compound. We were in the 'V' pattern when a group of Zombies burst out of the building in front of us. We all opened fire, through the glasses I could see a solid deep gray Zombie standing in the doorway of the building the others had just come from. I took off without warning.

"JAY!!" Sam shouted. He pulled three others out of the group and took off after me. The Point Zero I was chasing turned and ran into the building. The moment I stepped foot inside that door, it slammed shut behind me. I stopped dead in my tracks. Trap. Shit! And I fell for it. I raised my M-16. My night vision kicked in. One of my gifts, cat's night vision, enhanced by the night vision of the glasses. I could hear Sam and a few others trying to pry the door open. I slowly moved forward, my vision and weapon muzzle sweeping from side to side. Nothing, not even a single Zombie. There was a cat, hunting. I couldn't help but smirk.

"I'm glad you find the feline amusing. I made the virus so that the Reanimated didn't favor the blood of animals. I am a lover of the furry creatures." I knew that voice, but it echoed off the walls so it was nearly impossible for me to lock down his location.

"I know of you too, Jaylin McDermount." I cringed at my birth name.

"I know **all** about you and your ….. gifts." I paused. That was the voice of The Scientist, the guy that appeared to Charlie.

"Yes, Miss. Abet. I am sure she shared the vision with you. I had been hoping so. I have been wanting to meet you. Ever since I brought her too me, I saw you. In her memories. She is my prize work. And I want her back. I believe you can help me." He said. Damn it, I could not locate him or the Point Zero.

"Allow me to finish Charlie's statement. FUCK YOU!" I said. "I know that what you started you can't stop. You can just control them. But the younger generations are not as obedient as the progenitors of the Zombie race. In about three years time, everything on this planet will be dead. And the dead will be eating their weak." I said. There was a pause.

"So you know?" he asked.

"I know." I said. I had the feeling he thought I knew more than I actually did. I could feel he trying to break through my protections.

"You won't be able to get through them. They are stronger than you think. You can't make a connection with me unless I allow it and even if you can, the connection will kill you." Suddenly I was grabbed from behind. The arms were stronger than a human. The Point Zero began to squeeze me. I cried out. The probing was gone but now the Point Zero had me at a disadvantage. I felt the life being squeezed right out of me, I let out a slight squeak. I pushed back with my elbows with as much as power as I could muster. The Point Zero released his grip a little.

At least it was nice to know that a swift knock to the groin and abdomen still worked on the dead. I grabbed the Point Zero around the neck and flipped it over my shoulder. I heard Sam and the others finally burst through the door.

_Give Miss. Abet my regards._ I heard a voice echoing in my head. I shook off the feeling of cobwebs in my brain.

"Point Zero," I pointed to the Zombie on the ground. "Grab it before it gets away!" I shouted, feeling slightly tipsy. The brief connection had left me violated. Sam and the others zip tied the Point Zero and radioed to the compound. A transport was on the way. Sam and the others dragged the Zero out to the street. Sam came back to find me sitting on the floor.

"Jay?" Sam walked over to me and kneeled down. "You okay?" he asked, touching my shoulder.

"The Scientist was here." Sam's eyes went wide. "I couldn't locate him. His voice was bouncing off the walls and he was a psychic of some kind. He was trying to connect to me." Sam helped me up.

"Thankfully, shift is over. We have to head to briefing now. After we drop off Point Zero." He motioned to the Zombie writhing on the ground. We heard the transport pulling up. We stood at the door and watched as they loaded the Point Zero into the back.

"Jay and I will ride with the Point Zero and check it into the lab. The rest of you meet us in the briefing room." Everyone nodded. Sam took the drivers seat, I climbed into the passenger seat. He looked at me and winked.

"Let's hope this is all they need." I said. "Maybe we can end this after all." Sam nodded.

"The Scientist needs to be killed first." He said. I nodded. The ride back was silent expect for the wind whistling through the slightly open window. Sam backed into the loading dock where four members of our squad were waiting with a captivation chamber. We loaded the Point Zero in and signed him over to the doctors that were waiting in the lab. Then we headed back to the briefing room. Everyone was waiting. Sam and I sat down with our squad.

"We covered Quadrant 17 to 19. In Quadrant 17 we found a dozen survivors who are in the containment chambers awaiting classification. In Quadrant 19 I had a run it with The Scientist and we found a Point Zero." Dean and Charlie looked at me.

"A Point Zero?" Dean asked, squeezing Charlie's hand. I knew he was thinking the same think I did. Maybe this nightmare could end after all.

"We checked it into the lab not more than 5 minutes ago." Sam said.

"And the Scientist?" Charlie asked.

_He sends you his regards. He doesn't know about our marriages. But he knew my real name, my birth name._ I sent her. It was not a conversation for the guys to hear or the squads. The Scientist knew more about the two of us then we were comfortable with. She nodded slightly. We all left them room, Dean and Charlie heading for the armored transport, Sam and I heading back to our room. Now, I really had to pee. Sam looked beat, thankfully. He took a quick shower, kissed me goodnight and went to bed. I closed the door to the bathroom and locked it. I read the directions on the box and did as it said. I stood at the sink and waited for the little strip to appear. Sure enough it did. I set the test on the counter. Positive.

_How was I going to tell Sam? What were we going to do? Wait…. Why am I worried about this? We are having a baby! That is good news! We had talked about having a baby, we had wanted to start a family. Of course that was after we ended this Zombie problem._ I took a hot shower, moisturized my skin, and stood there for a moment with my robe on, my hand resting on my lower abdomen as I stared at the test. Positive. Wow. I turned off the light and walked back into our bedroom. I hung my robe on the chair and walked over to our bed where Sam was sleeping soundlessly. I pulled back the covers and slid in. The sheets were warm. I laid my head down on the pillow. Almost immediately Sam rolled over and wrapped his arms around me. I fell asleep with the feeling of his arms around where our baby was growing by the moment. It was truly a wonderful feeling. I slept peacefully that night. Not one nightmare, only the laughing of a little girl.


	31. Chapter XXX Revised 061407

**Chapter XXX**

I woke up the next morning with Sam still holding me as if he knew what was happening. I turned slowly to find his eyes watching me.

"Good Morning beautiful," he said, kissing me on the forehead. I smiled, propping myself up.

"Sam, we need to talk." His smiled faded.

"Are you alright?" he said. I nodded.

"I got some news from Dr. Strange yesterday." I said, taking his left hand and playing with his ring.

"I didn't believe him, so I had to test it myself." I summoned the test from the counter. Sam watched me carefully. I showed him the test.

"Sammy…. I'm pregnant." He took the test gently from my hand, looking over it. Like I had done.

"Jay…." He paused. I felt a slight panic. Then he smiled and started laughing.

"That is great news!!" He took me in a hug and peppered my face with kisses. I started laughing uncontrollably.

"Dean and Charlie want to bring in drinks after their shift is over to celebrate the capture of a Point Zero. The scientists confirmed it about 10 minuets ago. I got the call from Dean." I frowned, not only had I forgotten it the Task Force's day off, I had never heard the phone ring.

"I didn't hear the phone ring." I said. He smiled.

"You were smiling in your sleep. I took the call outside." He said. "Dean and Charlie are coming over in about 45 minuets. Dean grabbed a case of beer while they were out on shift tonight. And Dean also decided to raid a um…. Well…." Sam, paused.

"He raided a FASCINATIONS store?!?!?" I shouted. Sam nodded sheepishly.

"I don't believe it." I shook my head.

"Dean said he has divided the stuff between two bags. One for us and one for them. But I guess we won't be using them for a while." I just raised an eyebrow.

"I am going to put some clothes on." I said. I went over to our dresser and pulled out my clothes for the day. I slipped on a pair of loose fitting light blue jeans that had a hole in the knee and one of Sam's smaller deep blue tee shirt with a faded dragon/Ying-Yang symbol on it. I went into the bathroom and washed my face. I had slept for near 12 hours, that was a first. I heard a knock on the door. I walked out to find Dean putting a duffel bag in the closet. I shook my head at him.

"What?" he said with the innocent smile on his face.

"You couldn't expect me to pass it up could you?" I just shook my head again. Charlie put the case of beer on the desk and set down a bag of food boxes. I smiled. We all sat down on the floor and began to eat. Dean offered me a beer and I shook me head.

"I have an announcement." I said, setting down my box of pancakes. Dean and Charlie looked at Sam, who had an ear to ear grin on his face.

"I'm pregnant." I said. Dean dropped his box and so did Charlie.

"How far are you?" she asked.

"Six weeks as of yesterday." I answered.

"Happy Anniversary!" Dean shouted, punching Sam in the arm. Sam just laughed. It certainty was not the Anniversary gift any of us had been expecting. But I could sense it, the argument that Sam and I have had so many times, in the back of his mind. Now, with this new development inside me, he was not going to budge on the issue. He was going to insist that I stop patrolling all together, something I was not ready to do. Not that I blamed him, it was half his DNA growing inside me and it was **our** child. I just had not gotten all of the killing out of my spirit yet. I still wanted to kill Zombies. I would go to the lab later and find out how long it would take to make a vaccine.

"So, what are you two doing for your one year?" Sam asked, his voice pulling me back into the present. A devilish grin spread across Dean's face, Charlie blushed and punched him in the arm. We all busted out laughing. The first time I had met the Winchester boys, never in my wildest dreams did I think we would be where we were. Both Dean and Sam were happily married. Sam has a child on the way. John must be so proud. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and opened them again. Suddenly John was right between the boys. I jumped up and screamed.

"What?" All three of the Winchester men asked.

"You know I hate it when you do that, John!! You can't just pop in without warning!!" I shouted. Sam and Dean looked at each other and found themselves looking at the ghostly figure of their father. Both guy yelled out and jumped up. John slowly rose, placing his hands in his jacket pockets in a very John fashion.

"Hey boys." He said, his rough voice sending shivers down my spine.

"I just wanted to check on you." He said. I nodded absently. "I am glad to see all of you together." He looked down at Charlie.

"Hey kiddo," he sighed. Charlie slowly stood up.

"Hey back." She said. I could feel the slight twinge of pain. We all felt it.

"Jay?" he turned to me. My eyes went wide. "I wanted to wish you and Sammy congratulations." He motioned with his eyes to my womb. My hand instinctively covered the womb.

"Thanks." I said.

"Stick in there. This will be over soon." He smiled at everyone. "I am so proud of all of you. I'll be seeing you." With that he was gone.

"What the fuck?!?" were the first words that were spoken after he left and it should come as no surprise that they were spoken by Dean. We stood there in our shocked state.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!?" Dean shouted this time, making all of us jump.

"That was …… unexpected." I said, Sam came over and placed his hand over mine.

"I guess it is nice to know that he is watching over us." Charlie said.

"What the fuck?!?" Dean repeated, quitter than before. He seemed to be stuck. An awkward silence fell over the four of us. Charlie pinched Dean's arm, shocking him out of his state.

"We are going to go now. Congratulations, again!" Charlie said shoving Dean toward the door. She left a couple of beers for Sam and Dean grabbed the second black duffel bag filled with their half of the … goodies. Sam and I stood there, both holding my womb in silence.

"Jay?" Sam asked. I was just staring at the spot where John had been not moments before. I felt a tear forming in the corner of my eye. I blinked and it slid down my cheek.

"Jay, baby?" Sam said again, I slowly turned my eyes on him. He wiped the tear away.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"In shock, I guess." I stated, blinking again. I needed to focus on something and Sam was the best thing.

"You guess?" he asked.

"Yeah, it was just sudden. I mean I felt both of our parents at our wedding but we never **saw** them!" Now I was starting to panic. The last time I saw John he was telling me that I was too young to be so cold. Now I was married to his youngest, madly in love and with child. There had to be a reason for him showing up. Were we starting to loose faith in our purpose, unconsciously? Maybe John came by to reassure us. Spirits can see all things, or so they have told me. But they can only offer words of encouragement, they can't out right tell you the outcome. Maybe we **were** starting to loose our faith and John heard it. Maybe we cried out for unconditional support or love and John answered. I am not sure why he came by, but it left me feeling ….. confused. Story of my life. I didn't think I was loosing faith, maybe I was….. maybe in the light of having a baby I want more than anything for this war to end before our child is born. I would not want to bring a helpless little child into this world the way it is. Our child is going to be gifted, I was sure of that. Especially with Sam's gifts and mine. Sam took me by the shoulders and hugged me. He must have been listen to my whole rant with myself. Sometimes I forgot that we shared a telepathic connection.

"Go take a nice bath." He said suddenly. "I will go check with the Scientists about how long it will take them to make a vaccine." I looked at Sam, he always had a way of doing that. Making me feel better. I knew he was right. I needed to relax. High stress would not be good for the baby. He kissed my forehead and headed for the door. He stopped and turned around.

"Just for the record." He paused. "I want the same thing." I felt a twinge. Bath. Right. Must relax. I ran a steamy bath with rose oil. Just the scent was relaxing. I lowered myself into the tub. My body was dipped in warmth. I could feel each of my muscles relaxing. The temperature in the room suddenly dropped. I opened my eyes to find John standing at the doorway.

"Thanks for the warning this time." I said, he nodded. "Why are you here, John? Not that I don't enjoy seeing you…" I asked.

"You know why I am here. I am a symbol to you. You know it and I know it. I represent the way things could go in your life. Loss, pain, suffering. Everything you fear, you see in my life." He said. I nodded, waiting for him to go on.

"It is a legitimate fear, Jay. It is not something to be ashamed of, Sammy fears the same thing. It was just as big of a leap for him to get married as it was for you. You two are more alike than you think. This baby is a blessing. Nothing made me happier than when Mary told me that she was pregnant. It is a joy like no other. It is my regret that they lived their childhood's the way they did. I wish I could have guarded them from the evils of this world." He said, a touch of regret in his voice.

"They lived the life they were meant to live John. My mother always use to say that everything happened for a reason, bad or good. We learn from our experiences and we grow because of them. Your boys are the strongest I know." I said.

"But they have their weaknesses. Their wives, Sammy's child." John explained.

"Fight for what you want and fight hard." He said and then he was gone. Leaving me with his words.


	32. Chapter XXXI Revised 061407

**Chapter XXXI **

I must have fallen asleep in the tub because the next thing I knew Sam was re-heating the water and climbing in next to me. I shifted so that he was behind me. I leaned back, resting on his chest. There was his heartbeat, that wonderful sound that told me he was alive and he was mine. He wrapped his arms around me and they came to rest over my womb. I had a feeling he was going to make a habit of guarding me and our child. That could be a problem while we were on shift. He could not watch his back if he was watching out for me.

"Jay?" His voice vibrating through me.

"Hmm?" I sighed, shifting in the water so that I could see him. Everything was written in his eyes.

"Sam, I don't want to talk about this again." I said, making a move to get up. Sam tightened his grip around my waist, effectively immobilizing me.

"I am not budging this time. I let it go last time. But more is at risk here, Jay. Our child is at risk here." Sam said. I pushed away from him.

"I'M NOT READY!!" I shouted, splashing water at Sam. He just sat there, looking at me. Okay, so my reaction was not mature.

"It is not about you anymore." His words cut into me like a hot knife through butter. I looked at him. He was right, I knew it. Yet I was 12 weeks pregnant before I was scared enough to admit Sam was right.

We had not slept in the same bed for 2 months. I was too proud to admit that Sam was right. We were out on patrol, I was just beginning to show, when it happened. I am not sure what is was with Zombies, but they never tried to bite me or even scratch me, they would just pick me up and throw me. Well, this one was particularly strong. He picked me up, like a wrestler and threw me into a fairly large tree. I flew into it stomach first, I reacted and turned slightly to the side, folding over my right said at impact. I slid to the ground and curled into a ball. I screamed out as the Zombie came at me again. I reached up and snapped the Zombie's neck. I called for Sam, I was already starting to bruise. I had two broken ribs at the least. I had lifted up my shirt. Sam looked at me horrified.

"Take me to the Infirmary. Now." I said. Sam rounded everyone up and we sped back to the compound.

"You're very lucky, Miss. Winchester." Dr. Strange said. "There is no damage to your child." Sam had stayed with me this hole time, holding my hand. I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders.

After the incident, Sam and I decided it was time for me to take a Leave of Absence. When that Zombie threw me against the tree, I feared the worst. The doctors had told us everything was okay, I had a few broken ribs but the baby was just fine. I finally got the chance to finish my work on the classes. Since Charlie had started classifying people with the Warrior, Civilian, and Magickal, the General, God rest his soul, had put together a program to teach these Magicakal people how to use their powers. However the hitch was that there was no one to teach them, until now. Charlie and I had been classified as Level 7, the highest level of power we knew of and we were the only two. Sam and Dean had been classified as Level 5. Doctors would perform certain tests and with the results we would placed into Levels 1-7. Most of the Magickal people were also part of the Task Force, but some of them were Civilians. It was my job, now that I could no longer fight in the field, to teach them how to use their abilities and they would become the secondary defense system.

"Good morning, class." I spoke loudly over the excited chatter. The full attention was turned to me. My left hand was placed over the little baby bump that was forming.

"We, Magickal People live by a golden rule." I started, watching as the mad writing began.

"Magick is a neutral entity. It is the user or wielder that decides whether it will be good or evil." I turned to the chalkboard and wrote out a sentence.

"An in it harm none, do as thou wilt." I said, turning back to the class. "Can anyone tell me what that means?" All I got was blank stares. Then, very slowly a hand went up.

"Yes, Claire?" She was 10 years old.

"It means we can do whatever we want, as long as we do not cause harm to any living soul." She said. I smiled. _Smart Kid._

"Very good. And that will be our lesson for this week. The rules." I stated. "There are a few rulers that we live by. Rule number one. One should not use their powers for personal gain." I wrote it out on the board.

"Wouldn't that be number two?" I heard Claire asked in her meek little voice.

"Logically, yes. But no. The golden rule does not have a number. It is above numbers because it is the most important." I could feel the class's full attention on me, for more than the reason that I was the teacher. I turned around.

"Is there a question or two?" I heard them all thinking and it was quite over whelming.

"Please ask your questions out loud." I said. The chatter stopped. They were all staring at me.

"When do we learn about the powers themselves?" Asked a young man, whose name I have yet to learn.

"When the doctors were testing you, they would test for different abilities and then gave you a Level. I will be looking through your files before next week and we will go over it then. Don't be too eager to know your powers. They can and will be difficult to control."

"How long have you had your abilities?" Came another voice.

"All my life. And I still don't have control over them at all times." I said.

"Is it true that you are a Level 7?" I nodded.

"Yes, there are only two level 7's and I am one of them."

"Can your powers grow?" Ah, the first productive question.

"Yes, powers can and will grow. After a year, you will be tested again and given a new level. Most of you are Level 1 and 2. Things will not stay that way for long. I am here to help you learn how to control and develop your abilities. If you have any questions, feel free to come and find me. I will give you the answers that you seek. And if I don't have the full answer, I can at least point you in the right direction. Private lessons will be available upon request." At the end of that statement, Sam walked in and I heard all the girls sigh. I just laughed, it seemed my husband had become the object of affection.

"Hey honey, how is class going?" He asked, walking right up to the front of the class and rubbed the baby bump, kissing my cheek. More sighing.

"Good. Class, read chapter one and be prepared to go over the rest of the rules. Class is dismissed." Everyone packed up their stuff and rushed outside, leaving Sam and me alone, almost. There was a Task Force member standing in the back of the room.

"Jay, I wanted you to meet my new partner, another of the elite members. David." He walked up and shook my hand.

"Pleasure to meet you, ma'am." He said in his deep voice. I smiled.

"I like him. Good choice. It is a pleasure to meet you too. You look after my husband and he'll look after you." David smile, he was charming.

"Will I be seeing you in my class?" he nodded.

"I will be in after shift is over." He said.

"Great, you two be safe." Sam kissed me and the two of them headed out. I had three classes every day. One class of Civilians, Two classes of Task Force members. After the shift was over, they would have enough time to shower and put on civilian clothes before class started. Normally I would give them 15 extra minuets before I actually started class. The members of Dean and Charlie's shift should be here soon. Classes were two hours. It made for a mentally tiring day. I watched as the students from Charlie and Dean's shift entered. The speech was pretty much the same for everyone, the same homework assignments. During Sam and David's shift class, Sam just sat in the back of the class, watching me. We walked back to our room after the class was over. Sam was walking behind me, massaging my shoulders. God did it feel good.

"Thank you." He said suddenly while I unlocked our door.

"For what?" I asked as I stepped in the room turning on the light.

"For taking a Leave." He said. I stopped, mid-undressing. I stood there in a bra and my new maternity pants, barefoot.

"I decided that our child's life was more important than the need of my restless spirit." I said. It was true.

"When the thought of loosing our child crossed my mind, I panicked. I wanted this child, more than anything I wanted our child to grow up in a Zombie free world. The scientist said it would take them 5 months to come up with the vaccine. So we had 5 months to find the Scientist and kill him, or at least capture him." I said.

"When it came to the safety of my loved one, death was a better choice for our enemies." Sam agreed silently.

"That way they could not come back on the physical realm." I finished undressing and put on a pair of Sam's old PJ pants and climbed into bed. Sam climbed in behind me, wrapping his arms around me and our child. It was the first time we had slept in the same bed since our fight. God how I had missed that feeling. I hoped I would never have to be without it again.


	33. Chapter XXXII Revised 061407

**Chapter XXXII**

"Good Morning Class. Today we will be covering the most important rules from the Book Of Law. Who can tell me how many rules or laws there are?" I said, opening the book entitled 'Book Of Law'.

"There are 88 laws." Said Gabriel. That morning I had created a seating chart, pairing level ones and twos, so that their powers would go together. I explained to them that it would be easier for them when their powers did begin to grow, if they had someone to help them. They should and would be together during the growing processes. It was hard to go through it alone.

"That is correct. Thank you, Gabriel. There are 88 laws, all of which are important. They outline the ways of the Magickal people and the ways of the Universe. The Laws shape the ways we should govern, teach, advise, and counsel during our time on Earth." I said, walking back and forth in front of the classroom.

"There are eight rules I am going to require you to know. There will be a test on these folks, so look alive." That statement elected a moan from the class.

"Learning to use your Magick in the proper ways takes hard work." I said, everyone nodded, though I knew they hated testing.

"Rule one, One must not use their power for personal gain. We went over that last class." Thus began the mad scribbling as everyone tried to write down what I said.

"Rule two, One must not use their Magick or their power to cause harm. For this is misuse of the Power and is not condoned. To cause pain and/or the death of another through with the Power is forbidden." Everyone was so involved with writing that they failed to notice the words inscribing themselves on the board as I read.

"Rule three, Your magick is a tool, they are channels that are most precious and pure. Rule four, Show honour to all people, that they may look up to you, and respect you; and their eyes shall become a mirror for your soul. Rule five, Just weights and just balances shall you use, and just values shall you give, and there by receive threefold. Rule six, Let none die without honour, without love, or without respect, unless their actions have decreed otherwise. Rule seven, Those that do wrong without knowledge shall be held innocent; those that do wrong through carelessness shall be judged lacking in wisdom, and dealt with according to the nature of the transgression. Those who do wrong with deliberation and forethought shall be thrice punished, and the Lords of Karma shall lay low their pride. And finally, Rule eight, hidden powers are like the strings of a harp; each one may give a clear note, and when gathered together in sympathy and accord, they give rise to a beautiful symphony. Yet when struck without reason or thought, those notes may cause discord or disharmony. Therefore it has bee decreed that all must be taught to master their instruments, that there may be no discord or harmony." I said, closing the book I had. Everyone was looking at the board in awe. They must have noticed the words writing themselves.

"How?" Claire asked, pointing to the board.

"One of my many abilities," I said. "In time you will learn what abilities you have and you will learn how to control them." I sighed, rubbing the baby bump.

"That is it for the day. Review the eight rules/laws that I gave you. Write down any questions you might have and bring them to our next class." Luckily I had an hour and a half until Sam's shift came in. The shifts switched about a month ago. Sam and David were now working the 2400 to 1200 shift, Dean and Charlie were working the 1200 to 2400 shift. I walked to the Mess Hall; they were serving lunch, or whatever they came up with at the time. We were starting to run low on supplies. The truck was suppose to be arriving sometime this week. So the cooks were scrapping anything together to feed the compound until then. In all honesty I was not feeling up to eating. I had the blessing of all-day morning sickness. I groaned as my stomach turned as I got with in nose shot of the Mess Hall.

_Okay, never mind. I guess I will be eating Saltines again today._ I pulled the bag out of the side bag I carried with me. It had all my paper work, summaries from the patrols, the map of Quadrant activity and other things that a leader would need. I sat down at the far end of the courtyard, as far away from the smell of food as I could get. I sat down and pulled out a few of the medical files from my classes and began looking over them. I had gotten so into the files that I was lost. I finally became aware of multiple people around me. I looked up from my reading to find my whole Civilian class watching me intently.

"Why are we different?" Claire asked. The way the question sounded leaving her mouth almost broke my heart. I looked at her and then at all of them. There was something in their faces.

"I am gathering that no one had the balls to ask me in class, but it is something that has been bothering you." I said, closing the file I had been looking at.

"You have been gifted your whole life, you had two parents who loved you and a fiancée that supported you." Gabriel answered. "But we got thrown into this life, by no choice of our own." He and Claire seemed to be the voices of the class.

"We all want to know what it is that makes us so different." I nodded, motioning for all of them to get comfortable.

"In the late year of 2004 Scientist discovered something in monkeys called Mirror Neurons. The Neuron would fire when the monkey did something as simple as tearing a piece of paper. But they would also fire when the monkey watched someone else rip a piece of paper or if they heard the sound of ripping paper. The Neurons enabled the monkeys to understand what another was doing. It was astounding. In early 2005 they started researching Mirror Neurons in humans, through EEG, PET scans, and fMRI's. They found that the inferior Frontal Lobe and superior Parietal Lobe reacted when a human preformed a task, watched someone perform the same task, or even heard someone perform the same task. The research of human infants showed that the Mirror Neuron system developed before 12 months of age." I paused, everyone was looking at me like they were children and I was reading them their favorite fairy tale.

"Basically, we as humans react to another's pain because of the Mirror Neurons. The term means that when our brain is sending out waves, the Mirror Neurons in another's brain can pick up on them if one is what is referred to as a Hypersensitive. A hypersensitive is an individual who was born different. They are uniquely aware of their surrounds and have a profound ability to perform many tasks that a normal person can not. Another term for hypersensitive is psychic. Not only to psychics have hyper-senses, they also have an elevated level of Mirror Neurons all over their brain. We perceive the world differently because we are different. The discover of the correlation between psychic abilities and Mirror Neurons was discovered in early 2006. Thus, with volunteers, the research began that could map out the parts of a psychic brain." I paused. Many of the faces held understanding, but still looked terribly sad.

"Mankind is driven by the insatiable need to understand the world around them and to control it. Psychics were something that could not be explained because all psychics have different abilities, but the same place in the brain would be acting. That is what lead to the discover of a Neurotransmitter. I can't remember the name at the moment, but it was only present in the tested psychics. Scientist theorizes that it was the transmitter that gave the different abilities. To this day, psychic abilities are somewhat a mystery. Through the study of blood, brain activity, and the known abilities, we are slowly understand the psychic brain." I said.

"But what causes these abilities to manifest?" Gabriel asked.

"A traumatic event." I said, it was a simple answer to a complicated question. "If you were not born with an active ability, it manifests itself after some kind of trauma." They all nodded.

"So that is what all the tests were for?" Claire asked. I nodded.

"Scientist can only predict what ability one might have by the activity in certain parts of the brain." I pulled out a coloured diagram of the brain.

"If the Occipital Lobe has elevated activity, one might have any number of abilities centered around sight. If the Parietal Lobe is active, one might have any ability centered on touch. Some abilities, like telekinesis, are still a mystery as to what part of the brain controls it." I explained. My watch alarm went off. Time to head back to the classroom. Sam's shift would be coming in soon.

"We will have to continue this later. I have another class." I said. They all made a move to protest. I held my hand up to silence them.

"Next class we will being to learn about the different known psychic abilities." I gathered all my stuff and headed to the classroom. As I was approaching, I could hear the excited chatter about the shift. I wanted so bad to be out there, but our child was more important. All I had to think about was loosing the baby and my wild spirit would quite down. I walked in and the room was followed with silence. Sam was sitting in the back, leaning against the wall. He looked tired. He and Dean were the most advanced students, they required private lessons. Everyone else was either a level one or two. I had never taught Sam the rules. It seemed pointless, I knew he was and still is a good person. Once he made it through the 'I could become a monster' phase, he was more confident.

We had talked about it before, only once. He had been drinking while we were on a job. He spilled everything to me. How is father had told Dean that he might have to kill Sam. About the army that the Demon was building. Sam was broken, he was hurt and he was scared. I shook off the memory.

"Don't stop on my account," I said. I watched as my voice woke Sam out of the little nap that he had been taking. He walked up to the front of the classroom and sat down in the chair behind my table.

"Hey baby," he said. "How was class today?" he asked, putting his hands on my hips.

"It was ….. interesting. We got through all the required rules." I said.

"But the class found me after and wanted me to explain why we were born different." Sam looked at me.

"Really?" he asked, it was more of a statement than a question.

"I gave them the quick and dirty version of everything I had learned while I was in the lab." He nodded. I turned to the class.

"Good afternoon class." I paused as they all turned their attention to me.

"Well, I guess for y'all it would be good evening." They laughed.

"Today we will be going over the require rules. There are eight rules I want you to know for the test." The mad scribbling began. I waved my hand in front of the board. The writing appeared on the chalkboards. The good thing about teaching soldiers is that they didn't have to be told what to do, they already knew it. Not to mention they were interested in learning. Some of the Magickal Civilians were reluctant. The Magickal Warriors had seen me and Charlie using our abilities in the field. Honing one's skills could save lives and they knew it. They had seen it in action. While they were scribbling, I was reading the rules out loud. It was an easy 45-minuet class. They wanted to go to bed, but they wanted to learn. That made things move faster.

"Alright, next class we will begin to learn about the abilities themselves. Go to you rooms, get some rest and I will see you next class. Dismissed." Everyone packed up and left. Sam had fallen asleep again, just leaning back against the wall behind me. I rubbed his leg, gently waking him up. He had become more jumpy. If you shook him or he felt threatened, he would come up swinging. Dean found that one out the hard way. Of course, I thought it was funny. Dean disagreed. Sam slowly opened his eyes.

"Bedtime?" he asked. I nodded.

"Bedtime." We walked back to our room and got ready for bed. I had commandeered one of his monstrously big shirts to sleep in and a pair of boxers. We curled around each other. Sam laid his head over my heart, one hand around my waist and the other rested on my bump. I ran my hand threw his hair as he started to fall asleep. He was out not too soon after. I just laid awake. The way my civilian's class asked me why they were different was kind of like a sick person asking a doctor 'What's wrong with me?' It bothered me more than I wanted to admit. Gabriel had been right. My parents and Jacob never tried to push me down, hell my mother had taught me everything I knew. I guess I was having a hard time wrapping my head around the thought that someone would hate being different. I had always taken pride in it. It was not too long after when my eyelids started to feel heavy. I fell asleep plagued by the questions of why someone would view their gifts as a curse and a curse only.


	34. Chapter XXXIII Revised 061407

**Chapter XXXIII**

My class with Dean and Charlie's shift was about the same as my class with Sam and David's shift. Short and sweet. Charlie had taken over Dean's training. He was far to exhausting for me. I found that with this pregnancy, I was wearing down faster. After the class with Dean and Charlie's shift, I would go lay back down and take a catnap. And by catnap I mean a full **five** hours. My other class didn't start until 0830 hrs. Two-hour class, then an hour and a half break before Sam and David's shift would come for class. So basically, being pregnant was kicking my ass and winning.

It was still a few weeks before we would get the chance to discover the sex of our baby. We had been talking about names, but it was hard to settle on one without knowing the sex. During the day off, in 26 days, Sam and I had made an appointment to go find out was sex our baby was. I was never comfortable called our baby 'it'. I had seen that movie when I was a kid and had a rational fear of clowns ever since. Dean found that to be highly entertaining when we had to work a killer clown job. It had been their second killer clown, but my first. This one liked chainsaws, one of my worst nightmares.

After Dean and Charlie's shift class I went back to our room. I needed a hot shower. My lower back was starting to hurt. I guess the load in the front was getting really heavy. I worked out when I could. I made sure to do the pregnancy workout tape everyday before taking a shower. The hot water felt good running over my body. The doctors had given me special body wash and lotion to keep the stretch marks down. Granted the baby was not growing very fast, but better safe than sorry. After I had moisturized I just curled up in our bed and fell back asleep. Again I heard the laughing and giggling of a little girl.

The alarm woke me up five hours later and I got up. My hair was wild. I had forgotten to braid it before falling asleep. Oops. I pulled it back into a bun, hoping that would tame it a little. I grabbed a pair of Sam's old jeans that were far too big for me, a belt and a maternity shirt. I grabbed my bag and headed to the classroom. When I walked in it seemed like everyone had gotten there early, I guess they really wanted to learn about the powers and how to control them.

"Good morning class." I said. "How are y'all feeling this morning?" I asked. They knew I was referring to the talk we had yesterday. They all smiled widely.

"Wonderful." I said, pulling out a thin book. "If you would all pull out your 'Powers' book, we can get started." I said. The next couple of weeks was dedicated solely to covering the powers. Then things would move slowly. First one would have to discover what powers they possessed, then they would begin the slow process of learning to control them.

I was entering the second trimester by the time Sam and I were able to make it to the doctor. We had to cancel the original appointment due to a Zombie scare. A band of them had made their way to our perimeters. I had been on sniper duty, Sam and I had agreed that I could still do that much. We missed our appointment. Oops. Disadvantage of the job I guess. I was ending my forth month when we finally made it.

We were sitting in the waiting room. We were there to learn the sex of our baby and for my morning sickness, which had gotten worse. I was having trouble keeping down the pills I was suppose to take in the mornings to promote a healthy growth for our baby. Sam sat at my side during the ultrasound, man that gel is cold and I hated the feeling of it on my skin. Yuck. I was going to need a shower, again. The nurse looked at us, smiling as she snapped the picture and it began to print out.

"Congratulations." She said, handing us the picture.

"It's a girl." I could feel Sam's excitement. When we had talked about kids, Sam said he wanted one girl and one boy. Half the wish came true. Sam loved little girls and he was so good with them.

"I know the perfect middle name."' I said. Sam looked at me with his big curious eyes.

"Mary." I half whispered, in honour of our mothers. I could see a single tear slip down his cheek. I reach up and wiped it away.

"I think they would love that." He said, kissing my hand. Dr. Strange entered the room with a pink balloon. Word spread fast.

"Here," he said, handing my a bottle of B12 vitamins.

"Take these just before you go to sleep. It should help with the morning sickness." My stomach turned. I groaned and burped.

"Why do they call it morning sickness when it lasts all day?" I gripped. Sam was wiping the gel of my stomach while Dr. Strange and I talked about my next appointment. He wanted me to come in at the end of each month to get a check up. Our baby was going to be the first child born after the War had started. I prayed every night that the War would end before our girl was born. I wanted her to know the childhood I did. Demon, Zombie, darkness free. I made an appointment for a month later and then Sam and I went back to our room. I wanted to shower. That gel left my tummy feeling weird. I got in the shower while Sam did our laundry, which was in desperate need of being done. I had just finished getting dressed and was brushing my hair when I heard a knock on our door. I opened it and was greeted with a loud cheer. The entire compound had found out in a matter of my shower time that we were having a girl. They came into the room one by one and set gifts down on the floor, the desk, the bed, anywhere that they could find. I was in awe and I was honoured. Sam came back in the middle of it carrying three laundry baskets. A few of the guys from the Task Force took the baskets from him and put them in our bathroom. Sam walked up beside me and wrapped his arms around me. We watched as people filed in, congratulated us and set down their gifts. Where they got them I was not going to ask. We were thankful for all the help. About an hour later our room was flooded with baby gifts and cards.

"Wow," Sam said after he finally got to close the door. I sighed.

"What are we going to with all of this?" I asked, running my hand through my hair. Sam just shrugged and started moving everything toward one corner of the room. I was grabbing a few things when I felt a kick, to my kidney. I winced and Sam freaked out.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his hands immediately going for the baby. I raised an eyebrow.

"I am fine, but my kidney would say otherwise." I said, pushing at his hands. Ever since I had begun to show, it was like my stomach had become public property. Everyone would say hi to me then rub my belly like it was good luck. And Sam, OMG, while we slept he would always have his hand on the bump, like if he let go it would run away.

"She kicked?" he asked watching me finish moving the box I had grabbed.

"No genius, my kidney just wanted to try a jumping jack." I said. Sam frowned.

"Why are you so grumpy?" he asked. I turned around slowly. He was using the puppy face. Damn it. I sighed.

"I am sorry Sam. I am a raging hormone factory right now. Which puts me on the edge, temper wise." I said, taking his hands and placing them on the baby just in time for him to feel her kick. He was like a puppy in the toy store, the way his eyes lit up. I swear he didn't stop smiling for weeks.

My classes progressed nicely. Each persons power growing at a healthy controlled rate. There were a few incidents where someone had to be sedated, but nothing life threatening. I was just entering the third trimester when it happen.

When the end of the war happened.


	35. Chapter XXXIV Revised 061407

**Chapter XXXIV****– The End Of The War**

It ended like most people who think a war would end, with lots of blood and tears and dead people. Some how the Zombies had gotten to our walls without us knowing. Something had disrupted our frequencies. Most of my students were Level 4 and 5, Sam and Dean had moved up to Level 6. It was the Task Forces day off, I was 6 months pregnant. Dean, Charlie, Sam and I were sitting in the courtyard, enjoy the BBQ meal that the cooks had prepared when all of us felt something. Nothing we could put our fingers on, but something that disrupt all of us. It was double for me because our little girl was feeling it too. It was so bad I threw up. After I had finished throwing up I knew exactly what was wrong. I wiped my mouth and struggled to stand up.

"Sound the alarm." I said. No one moved.

"SOUND THE ALARM!!" I shouted. David was the first to move. He and his wife had joined our group after Sam took him on as a partner. David jumped up and hit the alarm. It took a moment for people to understand what was happening. The Magickal people began to escort the Civilian's to the shelter. I, reacting on instinct, grabbed a sniper rifle and dashed up the wall. I let out a scream when I saw what was happening.

There were hundreds, if not thousands of Zombies tearing at the wall. I began picking them off, one at a time. Soon Sam, Dean, Charlie and David were at my side. In the blink of an eye all the Task Members or anyone that could shoot was on the wall. Lucky for us the Zombies were only in one area.

The scientists had moved faster than the projected schedule and the vaccine had already been given out to everyone. I had been bedridden for two days after getting it. I guess the baby didn't like the vaccine that was in my blood.

I looked for the Scientist, he was behind this and I knew it. Then I spotted him. He was in the very back with one of our armored Hummers. It had been fashioned into a battering ram. He was behind the wheel, revving the engine. I guess he got tired of being hunted. So he brought the hunt to us. I watched in horror as he sped toward the front gates. I cried out as he hit the gates, blasting them open. I was thrown from the wall as the gates exploded. I heard both Sam and Dean yell out. I guess Charlie had been thrown too. I landed hard on my feet, I tucked and rolled out of it. I found Charlie next to me. Her eyes staring straightforward. I looked forward to see a flood of Zombies racing toward us. Charlie and I prepared for battle, but the Zombies formed a circle around us instead. I watched in horror as everyone else was fighting for his or her lives. Here Charlie and I were, surrounded by Zombies but none of them were touching us.

Then he came into view. The Scientist, he was not human anymore. We were not sure what happened to him but he had been possessed or enhanced. Charlie and I exchanged glances, now our protective circle made sense. The Scientist wanted to battle us, alone. I felt a wave of fear wash over me. My weakness was obvious. My baby bump had not gotten that big, but it was still evident.

This fight was going to be with magick, Charlie and I knew that when we watched the Scientist levitate into the circle. His wild hair and cloak whipped around him like there was a ragging wind. Two balls of electricity in his hands. He threw one at me and one at Charlie, we both ducted and rolled. I could feel my eyes change, I glanced up at Sam to make sure he was okay. He was. At least as well as one could be in the current situation. Everyone was fighting for their lives. I was thankful that I had started training the Magickal people in combat techniques. Charlie and I each threw balls of fire at the Scientist. He deflected one and caught the other, extinguishing it. That was not good.

The battle raged. We threw our best at him, he threw his best at us. In the end we were matched with power, strength, and endurance. It was hard to stay focused with all the screaming that was going on around us. Our Task Force members letting out animal cries as they killed or were killed. I could feel people dying, people panicking, the civilians cowering. It was all over whelming. But it was when I heard Sam cry out that I got distracted. I spun around to see him throwing a Zombie off the wall.

"SAM!" I yelled out, he was no worse for wear. I had ignored the rules that John had always taught me. Never turn you back to your enemy and it was going to cost me. I turned back and was hit right in the stomach with an energy blast. I flew backward in pain.

"JAY!" I heard Charlie yell. I grabbed my bump, gasping for air, landing on my back. I rolled on instinct to face him, I looked up to see the Scientist grabbed Charlie around the neck and lift her up. We were loosing. I could hear Sam and Dean screaming for us as they tried to hack their way to us. They weren't going to make it and I was running low on energy. I did the only thing I could think about, I rushed the Scientist, knocking him over. He released his grip on Charlie and she tumbled to the ground. She was gasping for air. Before either of us could recover, the Scientist had me by the throat with one hand, his other hand had mine torque painfully behind my back. He leaned forward, his cheek brushing against mine. It was rough, like sand paper and leather.

"Take a good look Miss. McDermount." His voice sending shivers down my body.

"The last thing you will ever see is your world dying." He shot energy from his eyes at Sam and Dean as they were getting close, knocking them both backward into a nest of Zombie.

"THE NAME IS WINCHESTER!!!" I screamed out. I pooled my energy and pushed it all out, knocking the Scientist off me. Charlie was at my side in the blink of an eye. We expected the Scientist to come up with energy or something Magickal.

That was not what we got. He came up and threw daggers at us. He missed Charlie but hit me in the side of my rib cage, Charlie was able to move much faster than I was. The thump surprised me, the pain knocked me to the ground. I grabbed at the dagger that was now buried in my left side, between two of my ribs. I coughed violently and tasted blood in my mouth. Crap. I felt the blood dribble out of the corner of my mouth. I spit the remaining blood out of my mouth. I looked up to find Charlie in the grip of the Scientist again. I couldn't move to help her. The dagger was draining my energy, I couldn't even form a ball. I tried to stand up and fell back over, the Zombie circle that had been protecting us was gone. I looked around to see something that I will never forget. Death has a certain presence when she comes for someone. The field rippled with that feeling. Everywhere I looked, people where dying, killing, maiming.

"You see Miss. Dawnivan. I win." He said, floating close to me. I turned my pale yellow eyes on him.

"The name is Winchester." I spat, gripping the handle of the blade. The Scientist placed his foot on the top of the handle, driving it all the way to the hilt into my body. I screamed out in pure pain and he roared with laughter while I struggle on the ground beneath him.

Suddenly a sword point pierced the torso of the Scientist, cutting off his laugh. He released Charlie and she fell back into Dean's open arms. I could feel that she was close to blacking out.

"**Get away from my wife.**" I heard Sam growl. I watched as Sam lowered the Scientist to his knees. Dean reached into his shoulder holster, grabbed his gun and shot the Scientist in the head. Launching brain matter and skull fragments yards away. All the time holding Charlie. He put the gun back in its holster and ran his hand threw her hair. I could hear him encouraging her to breathe, breathe for him. Breathe because he would not be able to live without her.

Suddenly Sam was at my side, stoking my hair, kissing my forehead between screams for help. Assuming a medical team was still alive. I could hear the footsteps approaching. Then Dr. Strange was in my sight. I could no longer make out anything that was being said. I could feel my world growing dark. The last thing I heard was Dr. Strange yelling.

"WE'RE LOOSING THEM!!!"


	36. Chapter XXXV Revised 061507

**Chapter XXXV**

_I found myself in a vast, lust green land. But it was covered in mist. I was so confused. I looked down and found myself wrapped in a white toga, tied with a golden rope. I wiggled my bare feet, feeling the soft grass in between my toes. _

_What the fu…?_ _I wondered. Far off in the distance I could see something shining, shinning like is was calling me, beckoning me. I began walking toward it. The closer I got; I began making out the shape of the shining thing. It was oval shaped like a giant egg. I got close enough to touch it. It was a giant mirror. At least that is what it looked like. I looked around, even more confused. I looked back into the mirror and watched as my life played out before my eyes, all the pain, all the bliss. Then I saw myself, lying in a hospital bed. I saw Sam at my side; rubbing my knuckles and running his hand threw my hair. I saw Dean coming in, gently laying his hand on Sam's shoulder. _

"How's Charlie?" Sam asked, without looking away from me. Dean shook his head.

"The same. Doc says that she is stable. But in a coma. He can't predict whether or not she will come out of it." Dean said.

"How's Jay?" Sam shook his head and laid it on the bed.

"She is fading. Her heart rate is faint and she is on assisted breathing. The baby is fine, though." Sam said, fighting the tears. Dean squeezed his shoulder.

"If Jay's body holds on for three more months, I will at least have a part of her. Dr. Strange says that it is unlikely she will ever awake up. He believes that Jay is holding on long enough for our child to be born." Sam started cry, silently. Dean kneeled down and took Sam in a brotherly hug.

_I could feel my own tears running down my face. I didn't want to die. I was not ready to leave Sam. I wanted to live a full life with him and our child. Maybe have more children. I wanted to grow old with him. I looked back up into the mirror and saw four forms walking toward me. I backed up instinctively, preparing for battle. I watched as the four forms walked through the mirror. My knees gave out when I saw who they were. My parents, Jacob and John stood in front of me. _

"_Jay…" Jacob's voice washed over me. I began to sob uncontrollably. Jacob kneeled down in front of me. He lifted my chin and kissed my forehead. His light blue eyes glistening with tears. He ran his hand through my curled air. _

"_You look like a Goddess." He said._

"_I'm not done yet…." I sobbed. _

"_I can't be." My parent's kneeled on either side of me. _

"_You don't have to be, honey." My mother cooed. She ran her hand threw my hair. _

"_Wha ….. Wha …. What do you mean?" I looked at them, I was beginning to hyperventilate._

"_Everyone has a destiny, some have more than one at time." John said, staying where he was. _

"_You have many things left to do, should you choose to go back." He paused. _

"_But if you choose to come with us. You have filled a destiny that you were meant to." My father said. _

"_What do you mean? Come with you?" I asked. _

"_When someone dies, the ones they love cross over the Vail to help them with the journey. It can be difficult." Jacob said, motioning to the mirror. _

"_That? That is the light?" I asked. _

"_You were drawn to it, were you not?" My father said. I nodded. _

"_All people say is that they saw a light. But what they saw was a reflection of_ **their**_ light." My mother said. _

"_The choice …. is yours." John said. He stood by the mirror. It really was beautiful. I stood slowly and walked to the mirror. I looked into it and saw Sam, sleeping at my side, clutching my hand, it was like he thought if he let go I would leave it. _

"_I….." I stammered. _

"_I choose to stay. I want to go back." My parents and Jacob looked slightly disappointed but John was beaming. He knew what I knew. If I left, Sam would never recover and I could never rest in peace known that I had caused him so much pain. _

"_Very well." My mother said. My parents hugged me as did Jacob. I watched them disappear into the mirror. _

"_Give my boys my regards. Tell them I am proud of all of you and that I love them." He said, kissing my forehead. He wrapped me in a tight hug. _

"_I know you will make a wonderful mother." My breath caught in my throat. Suddenly I felt pain, deep in my body. In my side, where I had been stabbed. I cried out and feel through the ground I was standing on. I fell into my body._

I sat bolt up in the bed, gasping for air, choking on the intubation tube. Sam jumped up yelling. I had scared him. The doctors and nurses rushed in, followed closely by Dean. My eyes were a different colour, I could only tell by the way everyone reacted. A few of the nurses screamed in shock as I looked at them. I reached out for Sam, but I was gagging on the tube them had shoved down my throat. Dr. Strange pulled the tube out. I coughed and gagged, but nothing was coming up.

"Give her air!" Sam shouted, shooing everyone out. Only Dr. Strange, Dean, and Sam remained. My body had finally calmed down.

"Jay? Baby?" Sam said, inching close to me. I looked at him. My eyes still that different colour. Sam jumped back a little, but still continued to get closer to me. I reached out for him. He grabbed my hand and kissed it.

"I thought I had lost you!" He cried.

"You almost did." My voice was rough and foreign to my ears. I pulled him closer to me and planted a kiss on his lips. A gentle, loving kiss. Suddenly an alarm went off.

"Charlie!" Dean shouted and ran out the door. I looked at Sam.

"She woke up." Sam explained. I nodded. I knew there was something I was suppose to say, but I could not remember what it was. It was nagging at my mind.

It was a month before the clean up had been finished, and I was well enough to travel. I will always remember the day Sam came into my room, one of his extra large jackets in his hands, with an ear to ear grin on his face.

"What?" I asked, looking up from my pudding.

"We're going home." That simple statement made me want to jump for joy. It took us hours to load everything into the two cars and our clothes. By about noon we were ready to leave. Charlie rode with Dean and Sam drove my jeep. Some of the Task Force members had taken the liberty of fixing up our vehicles, making them road ready. The good-byes were not tearful, sadness wise. We exchanged numbers and addresses with the members. I gave Claire and Gabriel my number, incase they ever had any questions. By 1300 hrs we were on the road, heading home.

The drive was slow, mostly because I had to stop and pee every five hours or so. We made it home after two and a half weeks on the road. By the time we got back into Oregon, everything was looking like it had before the war. The hospitals and police stations were the first things to get back in working order, than the banks. Slowly civilization was recreating itself. All four of us walked up the front steps, I opened the door and we pushed it open.

"First order of business," I started. "Cleaning." We all nodded, looking at the dust covered rooms. I was 8 and ½ months by the time everything was cleaned up.

Next order of business, baby proofing the house. That didn't take to long. Sam was putting together the crib when we both heard Dean cussing from the kitchen. We walked out of our room to see Dean fiddling with on of the cabinets.

"How the fuck do you open these things?!?" he shouted. It was such a funny sight, we had to stop laughing before any of us could help him.

"I guess baby proof means Dean proof," Charlie giggled.

I was peacefully sleeping one morning when I was woken up with a particularly hard kick. I got up slowly and walked into the bathroom gasping for air. Suddenly my feet were surrounded by water.

"OH!" I shouted. "OH!!" I screamed. Sam came rushing into the bathroom.

"My water just broke!" I shouted. Sam just stood there for a moment before springing into action. He sped to the hospital. We rushed into the ER.

"My wife!!" Sam shouted.

"My wife is having our baby!!" Three orderly rushed at us, some we knew from the compound. They grabbed a gurney and put me on it. One of them handed Sam a pair of scrubs.

"Put these on and you can be in the delivery room." Sam did as he was told. The labor was long and painful. I thought I had a high pain tolerance. I was wrong, very wrong. There was looks of screaming and crying. Finally at 2345hrs (1145pm) our baby girl was born. According to Sam I could not have been more beautiful than with our newborn child in my arms.

"What name should I put on her certificate?" asked one of the nurses.

"Sarienna Mary Winchester." I said. Sam beamed. It had taken us a long time to come up with her name. She was born 6lbs and 13 oz on May 31st, 2012. The first child to be born in the post war world. News spread like wild fire. Reports came to get lots pictures, which we didn't allow. A cover story was run on us, only her birthplace and her picture from the hospital were run. We didn't allow her name or our names to be released. It was unnecessary hype.

Dean could not have been happier, but he was too nervous to hold her. He was afraid that he would harm her in some way. So here we were, a happy family. Living in the back woods of Oregon. We had made sure to put the fear of God into the hospital staff, to make sure that our information remained private, after the photo was leaked.

Sleep did not come to us easily anymore. Sarienna would wake at all hours. I would get up, nurse her and change her. Then I would bring her into bed with Sam and I. The three of us would lay there, in our king size bed. Sam and I would just watch as our beautiful child slept. We would take turns napping through out the day while the other took care of her.

The first time we gave her a bath was something. Sam had pulled the video recorder, I was holding Sarienna, naked, on my hip while I filled up the sink with about three inches of water and Johnson's & Johnson's baby wash. I lowered her into the warm water. What was her first reaction? Splashing mommy. She giggled and slammed her hands into the water. She thought it was the best thing in the world compared to mommy milk. Sam got every second of it on tape. Something, when she was older, would embarrass her to no end. Sam felt the need to show to Dean and Charlie when they got home from food shopping. Sarienna was three months old before we got our first full night of sleep.


	37. Chapter XXXVI Revised 061507

**Chapter XXXVI**

Now this is not the end of our lives, far from it actually. We had many other fights, but none like the War.

I have seen some of my loved ones die. I have seen the darkness that lives in all humans and I have lived the darkness. I have lived through a war and seen the world rebuild itself. The strength of humans have been tested and we have lived to tell the tale. We have lived, learned and found love.

As I look back to when I began writing this Memoir, I realize that I had never expected the War to end. It was something that I never expected to live through either. But by some miracle or God's will or both, it ended and we lived to fight another day.

Our lives were less active than they had been. Sam and I got to grow old together and have the house full of children that we had dreamed of. We had a set of twins after Sarienna turned 4. Michael John and his brother Jacob Joshua. Dean and Charlie had two children of their own, two little boys.

We all remained in the same house, but we built additions on to it, so it was like two house joined together. We watched our children grow up in a warm loving world. And they had many journeys and battles to fight of their own.

When I looked back at all the events of my life, I know that hard times come and hard times go, all one needs is to have faith and little luck. But in the end, love **can** save your life, good **will** triumph over evil and life is worth it. It will just take a bit of creative thinking and a lot of weapons.

In the end, all things shape us into the person we were meant to be. We kept training and teaching our children until they came into their own power and we were able to retire from the Hunting world. I know and understand now; we are truly blessed in our lives.

**THE END**


End file.
